About my friend's death. Criticism?

Question

I find myself thinking of his Pen.

the Pen clenched in his shaking hand,

anxiously scribbling "it's never worth it."

only feet away

watching

as he ended his life.

an accomplice to my friend's suicide,

I hate this Pen.

I find myself thinking of his Gun.

the Gun he held in his trembling hands,

complying with his demand

to fire.

an accomplice to my friend's suicide,

I hate this Gun.

I find myself thinking of him.

the friend whose last minutes of life

were spent in a state of

sadness and desperation.

the Pen and Gun blinding his senses,

encouraging an irreparable mistake.

I miss this friend.

any criticism please?

Answer 1

These words that you wrote are sad and full of anger.  That is what you wanted to portray.  That is a good thing.  I don't know how to criticize when there is so much pain from experience in your words.  I think you wrote this quite well.  

Answer 2

Beautiful sorrowing, my friend .. It is so hard to know that there is nothing we can do to help. This has happened to me too.

B OK!!!

Answer 3

How about adding a verse stating that you hate the mindset that your friend had.  Not knowing that he was loved and needed and that every life is given by God to be cherished, not wasted,    

Answer 4

The poem is very powerful.  As art, I like it.

As journalism, I hate it, because I don't support suicide, assisted or otherwise.  I hope it's entirely fiction, and I bet you don't like my comments on this.

Answer 5

What you are going through now

is heartache,

It is painful.

You will remember your friend

you will not forget him

he will not forget you

Any blame, guilt, is normal

but it won't help to torture yourself.

(You couldn't have prevented your friends death

Suicide is an individual decision.  

And its also selfish because now you are grieving

and if he has family they are too. )