About socialization...

Question

Why do anti home school people so quick to perpetuate the socialization myth for home schoolers?

Answer 1

Socialisation is often known as the "S" word among home educators.

Its an easy target for those who are ignorant of the facts and it plays into the misconceptions of the general public who make assumptions about what HE is really all about.

people think that our kids sit at home all day around the kitchen table.

the reality is of course quite different.

I have an article on this on my website.  

Answer 2

Anti-home schoolers are under the misconception that school is all about socialization.  Schools now-a-days are more about test preparation     and drill drill drill for the test. In addition, a great deal of the socialization that goes on is often very negative (negative peer influence)  I know several adults who were home schooled and have a wonderful ability to get along with, communicate with, and socialize with all groups of people.  The key is to not isolate yourself but join many interest groups and create your own avenues for socializing if you are homeschooled.  

Answer 3

IT amazes me that Mel had things so right and came to the really WRONG conclusion.  She states that things don't really normalize until college...well...why should the HS child have to be dumbed down so that the Non-HS child can feel superior??  After college...WHO CARES!!  That is when real life begins anyway.

Answer 4

Ignorance, and thinking that the pseudo-society propagated in schools is "normal" and "beneficial". Just plain scary, isn't it?  (I could say more, but glurpy has already outlined it beautifully.  Ditto to what she said.)

I almost wanted to give Meilien a thumbs-up, simply because she proved my point perfectly.

Answer 5

Because they themselves have been made into social cripples by the Public School system.  They themselves are so socially deprived that they can't imagine being able to have a normal social life without the crutch and forced socialization of school.

Actually, I know a lot of public school kids who aren't like that, but I like to turn the tables now and then.  I am speaking of course, ONLY of those who actually fit the above description and perpetuate the socialization myth, not those who socially healthy public schoolers who realize that socialization does not stop outside the walls of school.

Answer 6

They do it out of ignorance.  They have been brainwashed all these years to think that school is the only way kids can be socialized.  The socialization that is offered in the school system is artificial and forced.  In real life do we only socialize with 25 other people our own age and in our own neighborhood?  Not most of us.  Home schooled kids get to learn real socialization with all types of people.  For some reason people seem to think we keep our kids locked away all the time.  That is far from the truth.  We are involved in sports, scouting, and out in the community every day.  Also some people are intimidated by the far superior education home schooled kids get.  They actually learn to think for themselves and learn problem solving skills.  Home schooled kids are free to be individuals and not forced to memorize standard answers or have to conform to what the school wants them to be.  Is it perfect?  No of course not, but nothing is.  Home schools far outscore their public school peers, and have a better chance of getting into the college of their choice; as colleges actively seek out home schooled kids.  The usually get along much better with people and have much better manners.  I have never met a home schooled child that lacked any type of social skills.

Answer 7

Sorry, but I've seen neither seen nor experience anything that would persuade me otherwise.

Home schooled children tend to pick up more adult mannerisms than non-home-schooled children for the simple reason that they interact with adults far more than with other children.

This tends to leave them with more formalized speech patterns and with a much lower awareness of things such as slang, youth culture and pop culture than their peers. This immediately sets them apart in social situation. To an adult this might not seem to be a big deal, but to a child or teenager it is. Kids spot these things instantly.

For example, the primary place where children learn about youth and pop culture is in the schoolyard. When a new slang term is introduced it is hear that children learn about it, and when there is chatter about a new band or a new TV show, this is where it is done. Home schooled children miss out on much of this and so when it comes to interacting with other children they have much less in common.

Equally, home schooled children tend to pick up their views on dispute resolution from adults, not children.

While adults think in logic, children don't. They think in terms of emotion and territory. If a dispute arises the natural instinct of a home schooled child is to engage in adult resolution such as logic and dialog, but in contrast the non-home-schooled child will often try to assert their claim based on their emotional involvement in said dispute. They will try to press home their perspective emotionally but the home schooled child will not be equipped to deal with this as they have not been exposed to it before. This often ends up in a situation escalating to the next level which is territory.

In brief, one party will seek to dominate the other party, and in most cases the non-home-schooled child will have more experience in this are than the home schooled child and the home-schooled child will not understand "the rules". This typically leads to open conflict. AKA a fist fight.

As a result, home-schooled children often have difficulty integrating with other children and prefer the company of other home-schooled children, or a close circle of state schooled friends that the y know for their neighborhood. This usually difficulty continues up until college age by which time the non-home-schooled children have had sufficient adult influence for the gap to be removed.

This problem is often perpetuated by the home-schooling parent. It is not uncommon for a home schooling parent to see their child having social difficulties as mentioned above (usually getting knocked on their bottom by another child), and to conclude that this is because the other child is envious of their child, or something similar. From which point onwards the homeschooling parent will commonly seek out other home-schooled children for their child to socialize with, rather than state-schooled children, which perpetuates the cycle.

Answer 8

1) Ignorance. They simply don't know any better. They think that homeschooling means staying home all the time, because going to school means being at school the whole day, then going hom. There's especially ignorance in terms of psychological and social development with all kinds of faulty assumptions being made.

2) Attitude. As you can tell by the one response, there's an attitude out there that there is something wrong with kids being more mature. There's an attitude of conformity, that kids should be able to fit in completely with other kids in the society around them, even if it means being more superficial, more immature. Of course, these same people would not suggest that you don't move to a place with another culture, even though your kids wouldn't conform to how the kids in the other culture are because of their different upbrining.

3) Prejudice. Particularly the assumption that one's experience is reflective of most or all homeschooling children. Like the comment, "one party will seem to dominate the other party." WHAT? I've seen that but a couple of times with homeschoolers and I've DEFINITELY seen it by many in public schools. And I've been around MANY, many homeschooled kids. There is also a common prejudice against adults/parents, as though it's more natural and better for kids to be raised in a "family" of 25-uplets and a different adult each year.

4) Lack of thorough thinking. This is tied to the assumption that how children have turned out being essentially raised in schools the past almost century is reflective of how they ought to be, without ever having considered how kids were BEFORE they were all sent to school. Mind you, perhaps this is a combination of attitude and prejudice: this is how things are now in schools and how they should be, so there must be something wrong with homeschoolers because they don't turn out that way. Take Meilien's whole proposition that homeschooled kids don't know how to deal with emotions. Is that how it was for the centuries upon centuries before kids went to school? Did all those kids spend their time trying to dominate each other? Please.