About to turn 18 years old?

Question

In 27 days, I will be 18. I just need to know a few things about how you can run your life as a new 18 year-old who's still living with his parents.

Is it true that once you're 18, no one, INCLUDING YOUR PARENTS, can tell you how to run your life? Is it also true that they can't force you to wear this or do that? Is it also true that 18 year olds can leave the house for a while whenever they want?

Here's the problem with me. My parents still want to order me around even when I turn 18. Thanks to legal technicality, they have the right to kick me out of their house if I don't follow their rules or obey them and also if I don't let them run LITERALLY EVERY ASPECT OF MY FREAKING LIFE! I've argued with my parents with this issue and they have acutally threatened to kick me out of the house as soon as I'm 18 if I don't let them boss me around like I'm still a minor. They keep saying that crappy "while you live under my roof, you'll follow our rules" phrase.

Is there a way to convince my parents that once I turn 18, I can do whatever the h**l I want? At the same time, is there a way to make sure that they don't kick me out of the house and still allow me the freedom I deserve?

The obvious solution would be to move out but I just started college 2 weeks ago and I'm trying to land a job right now and plus, I owe my dad a bunch of money right now. In 2 years after I finish community college, I'm moving out to San Jose to attend San Jose State University and get a room in that school (if there is any). Anyway, can you guys help me with my issue? Thanks!

VIVA LA RAZA!

Answer 1

it depends where you live.  I know in the US you may leave your parents house at the age of 16, but they cannot force it until you are 18.    At the age of 18 you become a guest in the house, if they dont like you, your out.  It's that simple.  they may have rules, and you will need to comply as long as you wish to live there.

Answer 2

You can't have it both ways. You abide by your parents rules while living in THEIR home and relying on them to support you (no matter what age), or if you are 18 and you don't like their rules then you move out and then you can do what you want, when you want.

You can't live in their home, eat their food, run up their utility bills, etc and expect to do what you want, when you want, without regard to anyone but yourself.

When you have your own place, anyone staying there will have to abide by your rules...so it goes with someone else's home.

Answer 3

My opinion is if you are still living at your parents, if they are still paying for your groceries, hygiene products, bills-ANYTHING you are a child.  They are supporting you.  If you don't like how your parents control you MOVE OUT!  I wasn't even out of high school yet, and I left.  I turned 18 March 28 and was gone by April 14.  I hated the way my lied to each other, hid money and were abusive.  They tried slightly to tell me what to do but I was paying for my own clothes, soap, shampoo at 14.  Either be happy mommy and daddy are supporting you or suck it up and move out.  I am now 21 own my own house and have my own business.  My parents NEVER share their opinions with me because they know I am not going to tolerate it.

Plus, if you don't want to be treated like a dog, don't get all the perks of a dog ie free house and food.  College student or not, GROW UP!

Answer 4

> Is it true that once you're 18, no one, INCLUDING YOUR PARENTS, can tell you how to run your life? Is it also true that they can't force you to wear this or do that? Is it also true that 18 year olds can leave the house for a while whenever they want?

No.

If you are an adult, then you are living there as a guest.

Just as if you lived at a hotel, or your own apartment, or a dorm, you would be subject to the rules of the place.

The way to gain additional freedom is to work on trust issues with your parents.

We can't know, but maybe they have reasons to not want you to go out. Maybe you have a history. Maybe your sibling has a bad history. Maybe you live in a dangerous neighborhood.

While just before turning 18 is kind of late to start this trust building, it is never too late.

You will need to find a way to negotiate, maturely, with them for increased freedom, a little at a time. The way to do that is to show that they can trust you won't violate the rules and get in trouble.

So go by the rules, with their agreement that the rules will be loosened a bit at a time as you show you can be trusted to not get in trouble (or whatever their fears about you are).

This is too their advantage too....sooner or later, you are going to leave, and if you leave without having learned how to internalize limits, you will be in trouble soon enough.

So tell them you don't want that to happen, and you want to work with them during the time you have left to learn how to handle increasing independence a bit at a time, in a way they can learn to trust you too.

If they can't go for that, then either you are already a handful with good reason for a short leash, or they never really prepared as parents for the day when you would become more independent. Which is a different problem if that is it.

In any case, find a way to handle it maturely without either blaming or accepting blame, with measurable tiny steps to build trust. You have a long life in front of you, and if you can pull this off, you will be a better MAN for it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

♫estas son las mananitas......

Answer 6

When you turn 18 you can do whatever you want whenever you want and face no legal problems at all.  I always heard growing up "I'll never let you do this or that blah blah over my dead body blah blah" and had really controlling parents.  However when I turned 18, they realized I was going to do whatever I want whether they approved it or not, and basically just gave in after a few feeble attempts from them.

My mom made the mistake of calling the cops on me once when I was 18 and went to a concert, they actually showed up asking for me and after I explained to the officers that I was 18 and my parents had no legal control over me, they actually laughed and wished me luck in the future before they left.

I'm 20 now and still living at home, and since I turned 18 and "set my parents straight", our relationship is better than ever.  

So basically, no matter what threat your parents tell you, you can do whatever you want whenever you want as long as its not illegal.  They can kick you out whenever they want, but expect them to be begging you to come live with them again less than 24 hours later

Being an adult is fun haha.

PS:  Try what I used to do to my parents, when you leave or when you're doing something and they ask "Where are you going?  What time are you coming back?  What are you doing?" tell them something stupid like "Going somewhere dangerous, probably won't be back"