Abuse children: how could you use activities, stories & discussion 2 help these children express their fears?

Question

Abuse children: how could you use activities, stories & discussion 2 help these children express their fears?

Answer 1

Very gently.  Be well prepared and take time to learn more about how to help abused children, it's easy to cause them more trouble and pain unintentionally.

Abused children may have very good reasons to hide what they are feeling.  They need time to develop relationship and trust.

If you chose stories that are safe, but which show a character going through some minor difficulty, you can ask the children questions about that character.  Children will project their own feelings and experiences onto the fictional character much more easily than share their own feelings and experiences.

Another therapeutic tool for younger children is a "family" of different sized dolls or soft-toys.  Observing the children playing, and asking them what the dolls are doing, and what each doll is feeling, is helpful.  Be very careful with what you find out because the child has unintentionally shared with you, their trust is fragile.

Please note that a story or activity which is explicit, or too similar to the child's own experience, may not feel safe, and can cause the child to withdraw or feel distressed.

Answer 2

Would you believe that i just signed back on for a moment before bed?  As a 'damaged kid', the best therapy for me was my care team showing me pictures of birds in the nest being cared for by the parents, and telling me how this 'family' seemed so happy.  Then I was asked how I saw my life, and the things that happened to me, and if i was part of the bird family, what would I be like.  That was one game--see, hear, then tell.  It took differen forms, but the game was very effective.  Another game was being shown a still picture of an adult shaking their finger in a child's face, the adults face very angry and the child clearly scared to breathe.  I had to make up what the adult was saying and thinking, then do the same for the child.  That got creative.  I was allowed, and even encouraged to yell and use words that i wasn't supposed to any other time when being the adult.  I could still use the words on the child's part if i felt like it.  the worst game I played was "if this was done to me by an adult, and i was allowed to do anything back to the  adult i wanted, what would i do?"  I say it was the worst game for me, because I had such rage inside me, and i knew that i could not ever let the 'rage monster' loose, because the rage would take over, and i became a very violent child.  It still plagues me today, at 24 years of age, I still have to keep the rage under control.  the idea at the time ws to help me vent the rage and eventually gain more control of it.  to a point, it was successful, but i hated them for making me lose that control, because i knew wha t would happen.  My caare team had me start writing a journal, where i could put down anything i wanted to, in any way, and in any words i wished to use.  I didn't have to let them read it either, and they had to ask MY permission to read it.  I could say NO i i wanted to.  that gave me some more sense of control.  i still write in my journal, although the past few years no one but me reads it.  Heads up:  if you have a snack or lunch or just go out to eat with the child at a restaraunt, or have the meal inside the 'contolled area', be ver ycareful of your choices for food.  the child needs to have some say in what is desired.  this is especially true for sexually abused kids.  When I was INside o IN as we called the psych ward for adolescents, i had one friend tha would absolutely freak if she was given a hot dog.  it took the staff about a week to find out taht she had been abused sexually, which they diodn't know, and that a frozen and/or unfrozen but not cooked hot dog was use to violate her lower areas.  whathey did for her was let her know tha teveyone else was going t oeat them, and she would have some put on ehr plate, but she was allowed to destroy the dogs in any way (short of throwingthem at staff or us) she wished, and then she cold have a burger or sandwhich or whatever.  she was my roomie for a while there, and i told her that if i ever found out who didthat to her, i would come to her side and  deal with them.  (KIDS, REMEBERTHAT THE ROOMS HAVE MICROPHONES IN THEM). I, uh, go t a real scolding  for that one..  the only reason i did is because they knew i would.  no matter ..the person(s) were found out, and dealt with.  

Thats about all the ones i can think of at 3am, but feel fre to contact me if you would like to find out more or hav qwuestions or whatever.  I'm ok with me now..just have to deal with the rage monster, especially when i see an adult hit a child wioth way too much forrce and anger.  Its GD hard too.

Answer 3

Kids are not as verbal as adults:  abuseD children are often not as verbal as other children because (1) they are likely depressed; (2) they are suppressing their feelings.  Abused children become afraid to express their feelings because they've learned that the more their abuser knows about their feelings, the more easily they can be hurt.  So, they shut down so they show less of 'themselves' to the world.  

Therefore, to draw out children you use stories and activities so the kids can identify with the people and scenarios in the story, then you can discuss the story afterwards and get them to talk about it--first they talk about the story, then you get them to identify with a character or an event.  Then you can help them get their emotions out, or help them decide what a good course of action would be if they were to feel threatened again.  So at the end of the discussion you show them how they can be smarter/safer than the character in the story, so they will feel better about themselves.  And, it is less threatening to an abused child to talk about a story character than to talk about himself--it's a good way to ease into talking about their painful situations, rather than asking them direct questions about the abuse.  

Since I assume I'm doing your homework, I will leave it to you to give specific examples of a few stories or activities--there you go!  

Answer 4

by having them draw what scares them or by they pretending and acting like what they are afraid of