Abused relationship . Looking for some suggestions and cheer up !?

Question

It's mentally & physically abusing almost my whole marrieds time . Every time I asked for divorce , hes getting angrier . He swears that i only have one choice: Stay or death . 25 years with him , I know that he meant it . We are financial stable and 2 kids invol . So ppls on Yahoo Q&A , Can you all give me some suggestions about how & what can i do . BTW , I did talk to lawyers & police so I know my options ( but have no gut to do yet ) ... I also looking for some cheer up and courage ....Thanks y'all !!!

Answer 1

Sweetie:

No man walking this sweet big earth has the right to physically abuse you.  Plan.  Carefully plan, and execute your plan.  Have it documented with authorities so that when you pack your children, the next time you will need to see him is in court--with a Sheriff present.

He's psychologically using his bravado to 'bully' you.  Go with it for as long as you need to....just to plan.....keep arguments and threats of leaving to a nill, its obvious it hits a nerve of insecurity with him.  

You'll be fine, and your children will be cared for because of your strength and courage.  Hang in there.....it's not as long as it has been.

Warm regards!

Answer 2

Don't live with a sword hanging over your head.  Get out of there yesterday.  Wait until he's at work, and then pack up yourself and your kids and leave.  Don't look back or worry about him.  Just leave and get on with the better life that you deserve.

Answer 3

Find a woman's shelter. Take you kids and get away as fast as you can. Even if you don't think you have the guts to do it, do it for your kids. Your children are learning what a relationship is supposed to be like and you must consider the example you are setting for them. Get the h**l out now.

Answer 4

Your asking for a divorce is a sign of weakness. He does not respond well to that. Be powerful in what it is you want and let him know how it is going to go. Valid concern over his reaction. Line up a women's shelter, take your children and leave. This stay or death comment rocks my boat. Rather than getting cheered up and courage get support from friends. Have someone with you when you leave.  

Answer 5

Wow.  Stay or death?  You've got to be kidding me.  I feel so bad for you and those kids.  Of course, this is a very dangerous situation.  You seem to have a lot of faith in yourself, and a lot of strength...if I were you, one day I would simply disappear with the kids somewhere far away.  Take care.

(Katydid is exactly right....protect those kids)

Answer 6

Call the domestic abuse hotline and don't take any of his bull. You CAN Leave, and You CAN Survive. You know your options, take them. Leave while he is at work, and take the kids with you. Ask for police protection, and get a restraining order out against him. This is no time for lack of guts. I don't see how you could have possibly lasted 25 years with this man. Change your identity if you have to, you have MANY Options. Don't be subjected to his abuse and orders. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your kids.  

Answer 7

one day while he is at work you can pack you and your children enough clothes to hold you for a few days, go to a(women's shelter) and let them relocate you . Or you can wait until he goes to sleep, and then come out of a bag on him

Answer 8

it time to fight look at jlo in that movie enough you are a strong awesome women and you can save your family and you can over come this go ahead girl i really suggest wathcing this movie  

Answer 9

It is time for you to go.  If he has threatened you with death, then he may end up finding a reason to kill you anyway.  You need to do everything you can to get out of there.

There is safety in numbers, so  tell everyone you know that he has threatened to kill you and set up a network. The more people that know what he has done, the better, so you have more protection.  I would also follow up on those options the police and lawyers have given you.  But do everyting you can to get out of there, and get as much help as you can.

Just one note: some women have ending killing their abusive husbands and ended up in prison their whole lives, which to me would be worse than being killed.

Answer 10

GO to a woman's shelter and say nothing to him. Just pack up and go! They will be able to help you. You will be ok.