Abusive Boyfriend???

Question

You see your best friends boyfriend hit her and you see the marks on her. Your afraid for her life and so is she. But she doesn't want to leave...or can't leave...and this guy is really scary! What should be done?

Answer 1

Call the police immediatley.

Get a restraigning order.

Learn how to fight back.

Answer 2

go to the cops and report him, and make her get a restraining order against this guy ASAP, the longer you wait, the worse it will get.  

Answer 3

If she doesn't want to leave, it means she's already passed over that line of being brainwashed. So, she needs someone else, with a clear mind, to help her get out of this volatile situation. She's afraid to leave, because she's been made to believe that it would not be safe or smart for her to do so. She doesn't want to leave, because she thinks she loves this guy, and believes (or, at least, hopes) he will change. She may even believe he loves her, and needs her. It's all part of the brainwashing! The best thing for her would be to get her to a safe place immediately! A place where she can clear her mind and get the support she needs to get through this. She cannot do it while she is with him!!! As many times as it takes to convince her of this, just keep pushing her to do it. She will fight it, most likely, so you have to wait for the most opportune moment (usually right after she's been badly mistreated... unfortunately). Just don't give up... keep trying! The day will come when she will be ready to leave... but, she will need someone there to help her do it, and stick with it, once it's done.  And, when the time is right, this man needs to be reported to the police! But, they won't do anything to him unless there's "proof" of some kind that he has done something to physically hurt her. If she has visible marks on her that the police can see, they will be much more likely to take this guy in for domestic violence, or assault, or whatever charges they can put on him. Otherwise, he'll get arrested, at best, and then released immediately... only to return to hurt her again. Restraining orders are basically just paperwork, but it helps to have one in case she needs to go to court and show that he violated a court order by not honoring the restraining order. The court will recognize it to some extent, simply because they ordered it and he didn't comply. The courts don't like it when people are non-compliant. But, bottom line, the only way she can end it, most likely, is to disappear out of his life, and not let him know where she is. Oddly, it's during that time of separation that an abused woman will be most inclined to contact her abuser again, and the vicious cycle starts all over. That's why a serious friend is so important to have during this time. Someone needs to take control when she becomes weak. Abuse is a sickness that must be treated as such. The victim is like a patient. Her doctors are often her friends and family. But, her disease can return if she isn't protected from it and helped to heal. God bless you for being that friend!

Answer 4

Take her to a battered women's shelter and report this guy to the police.