Abusive boyfriends and teenagers?

Question

my 17 year old sister just got beat up last night by her boyfriend that is 19. he also threatened to find someone to kill her. he was in jail but now is out. my mom and sister got a restraining order on him. i live 3 hours away and i plan to take her into my home for a few weeks. to get her away. but my mom said she told her, that if he went to couseling she would go back to him. personally i think she is too young for relationship problems like this. but everyone knows how teenagers are, if you tell them one thing they do another. and any one who has been abused knows that whatever anyone says you wont leave him because you "love him" been there done that escaped with my life thank the lord.......what do i say to convince her that she needs to stay far away from him? any other advice on how to go about this? and are there any websites that show statistics on teenage abuse by a boyfriend? possible ones that end in death?

Answer 1

I had a friend in a similar situation.  There wasn't any real bad violence, but the emotional abuse he inflicted on her was unbearable to watch.

I bought my friend a book that I had read befroe.

Its called "But I love him", by Dr. Jill A. Murray.  Your local bookstore (B&N, borders) should have it

Ask her to please read it.  She doesn't have to do anything that it says, but just ask her to please at least read it.

My friend wouldn't listen to any of her friends who were trying to show her how toxic her relationship was.  We got her into counseling at school, and even that didn't do a lot.  But I bought her the book, and asked her to read it.  She did, and that was the beginning of her beginning to stand up for herself in her relationship.

Answer 2

Unfortunately she is in love, and he can beat her over and over again and then promise to change and she will take him back.  SHE will not get out of this relationship until she is ready and unfortunately that may take several beatings.

All you can do is be there for her when she want you too.  

Answer 3

Say something along the lines: Sis, you gotta get away from this guy after everything he is done to you.  People don't change all right?  Something like that because you can never know when this guy is going to do it again.

Answer 4

run, run fast.

before you know it she'll get pregnant and then she can't run away from him.

Answer 5

Go to crimelibray.com or google abusive relationship ends in death. There are many stories like this one and unfortunately they did not escape with their lives. There is a story about a woman who's husband found her after she file a restraining order. He had a water bottle full of gasoline and he poured it on her and lit her on fire. These situations don't get better, they get deadly. Do whatever it takes to get her away from him.

Answer 6

You should look and see if there is a woman's shelter in your area. And while shes there take her and let her see what men like him have done to woman. Also maybe let her talk to a woman with a child or two that get beat up. Let her see "love" doesn't mean beating you up. Don't just say your wrong while shes with you. Really listen and talk her.

My best friend was abused by her boyfriend for about 9 months of the 2 year long relationship. Her boyfriend had her talked into not talking to me or any other friends. Fighting with her parents she wanted to move in with him (she was 17 at the time). After about 3 months of not talking to me I saw a huge black and blue mark on her arm and asked what was going on and she broke down....telling me everything. She is now married with a child to a great guy but it took her awhile to realize all men aren't like that and she wasn't in love