Abusive father? Disrespectful son? You tell me...?

Question

Every time I make a point, my father shoots me down. And when he's losing an argument, he results to threatening to cause harm to me. Today, I told my mother that I don't believe all Non-Christians go to h**l and that all Christians go to heaven. He goes CRAZY saying that everyone who believes in Jesus goes to heaven. I say, no, your actions are of utmost importance and that if you truly believe in Jesus, you would try to live like him. This makes him crazy.

He starts calling me skinny, a fool, and an idiot, and that he would break anyone's neck that told him otherwise. He believes that all you have to do is accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.

I went and got the bible and pointed out passages where Jesus said this, and he took the Bible away from me and starting interpreting Jesus' words like he wanted to.

So religion aside, this makes me crazy that he's threatened my and that he took the Bible away from me.

So I flip and tell him that he interprets the Bible wrong and that he doesn't actually live by the words Jesus teaches. Basically implying that he is violent and disrespectful and that those type of actions aren't rewarded by God. (He is adulterous, disrespectful, and unkind and he expects me to believe that God wants these kind of people in heaven).

He gets more violent and tells me that he is inches from hitting me. I then say "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus" and he gets up and begins snatching on me. I didn't hit him, but he kept pushing me.

Religion aside, what do you think of this situation. I feel like i just snapped. I'm a 23 y/o male by the way. I need your advice.

Answer 1

MOVE OUT !!!! Your mom must be going nuts. I am sorry that your dad is so easy to get wound up. I also think you tend to feed his behavior. you will be like oil and water till you move. I'd be concerned about both of your folks,one is likely to keel over from anger or worry.You are way to old to be causing them so much grief - knowing that religion is a soft spot on him and all. Dude,just move.

Answer 2

it sounds like you're egging your father on, and want to argue with him.

if discussing the bible is something which causes major disruptions in your household, then avoid talking about it... if your father starts a discussion and you don't agree, just let it go.  

lots of people tend to bible thump and try to tell others how to live according to the bible, which is also filled with the same things your father's life is -- disrespect, adultery, unkindness, and etc.

since you are 23 years old, you could further avoid confrontations by starting a savings account and working toward getting your own place.  that would help, too

Answer 3

If he ever went to church, or even read and understood the bible, he'd know God is offended by that behaviour and wouldn't be adulterous, unkind or disrespectful.

Maybe, you should get a priest to talk to him, the most trustworthy priest you can find. He ought to put some righteousness in him, and make him  stop treating you and the world like shiit.  

Answer 4

I see nothing wrong with standing up for what you belive is right.  Your Dad just needs to see that he is wrong in what he says and does, and hopefully one day he will see clearly.

Answer 5

There are few things that can break up a family. Religion is one of them. You will never be able to change somones mind or lift somones heart who is firmly planted in there one ways and beliefs. so stop trying.

Never try to teach a pig to sing, It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

My advice is learn about religion by those who live it. Read books. Talk to your priest, and your neighbors pastor, The wiccan down the block, and the eastern philosophy temple accross town.

Then make up your own mind. There is nother wrong with being the universal faith of (your name here).

And when those around you, even those you love, tell you that they are right and you are wrong. remember that hostility begets hostility.

don't fight about it. You can accomplish just as much by saying "You are perfectly within your rights to believe that" and refuse to discuss things any ferther.

Anything along those lines. "I respect what you are saying, I simply don't feel that is what I believe"

etc.

Just remember. Beliefs are powerful things. People start wars for there beliefs. People kill for beliefs.

Hate, anger, and violence are not advocated in the bible. Those are not Christian values. You should be the one teaching your father by example how to be tolerant of those that do not share their exact belifs.

Good luck to you.  

Answer 6

I have had the same problem happen before, multiple times.

It's best to just hold your tongue and agree with him.

I know that's hard to do, though. I'm quite a wise-*** sometimes.

But after a while you get used to holding back the sarcastic comments.

Answer 7

I must say, it sounds like you are judging and pushing his buttons to get a reaction. I suggest you have fewer discussions about religion with your father since he seems adamant and you seem to not know when to let up. BTW, it's not for you my 23 year old friend to decide who GOD wants in Heaven, I'd be careful with that one, I'm not sure GOD likes "know it all's" either. Sounds like you are casting the 1st stone.

"He is adulterous, disrespectful, and unkind and he expects me to believe that God wants these kind of people in heaven".