Addressing people of obscure gender?

Question

Someone's gonna kick my a$s for asking this, but...

If I'm talking to someone and I can't tell whether s/he is male or female, exactly how rude would it be to call them "sir or madam", as in, "Excuse me, sir or madam, you dropped this pen"?

Answer 1

Just don't say anything gender-specific. No need to say any more than, "Excuse me, you dropped this pen." If you want their attention, tap their shoulder or identify by saying, "Hey you in the red shirt." No big deal.

Answer 2

No - if you can not identify someone's gender -- it would be very impolite to point that fact out to them.  You should be able to phrase a question or provide an answer without questioning their gender.  

What business is it of yours what their gender is??  Unless you are a physican or a bathroom attendant - it should not matter.

Answer 3

I've found the best way to do this is forget the formal stuff and just you.  Its kind of strange when you call them the wrong thing.

Answer 4

Don't say anything gender specific then!

"excuse me, you dropped this pen?" is enough.

Answer 5

Its actually ruder to say "sir or madam" as by saying this ,it could be seen as a insult ,or purposely trying to hurt their feelings.

If not sure,than be vague and just say  "excuse me,you dropped this" or "Excuse me ,in the red coat you dropped your keys"

Answer 6

Why not say, "excuse me friend, you dropped this pen"?

Answer 7

Just avoid sexual labels.  "Excuse me, you dropped your pen."

Answer 8

what i would do is say excuse me loud enough until they turn around or whatever and then wait until they speak and maybe you could tell from their voice if they are male or female. and if the voice does not help then if you call them by the wrong thing there is nothing you can do about it and it is kind of their fault for looking half and half