Adi vice on this poem would be appreciated....?

Question

With all the fun I love to have

People say a monkeys what I am

As I walk about proudly

People say I am a peacock with confidence in every step

When I look beneath the mask

A bird is what I see

Penguin as I try to fly,

Wanting to do so desperately

A hummingbird restless and always moving

That flits from to and fro

A baby blue jay in its nest

Afraid to take the first fall

I just want to fly away

But I am always way to scared

Early Bird Catches the Worm is what they always say

But as early as I try to be

I always seem to be too late

Answer 1

i write poems myself(or try to anyways) and i think this was really good the only thing i didn't quite get was the thing about monkeys in the beginning i thought it was neat how you referenced to the traits of different birds and i think you should have stuck true with birds instead of the monkey thing and the ending was very powerful i really enjoyed it

Answer 2

Its ok. Not the greatest but defiantly a start.

You should defiantly take out the monkey part. It just doesn't fit.

One rule of poetry is to use as little words a possible.

Try to go through it and take out as many words as you can without diminishing the quality of the poem. Then rearrange and add lines to make it even better. You defiantly have a lot of work to do but is a really good poem so far with a good idea.

One more thing you should do is try adding some transitioning lines between the different birds. i think its just a little choppy and quick between them.

Good Luck!