Adopt my boyfriends daughter is something I've been thinking about for the last year..?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together since his daughter has been 9 months old she is now 16months and calls me mommy... He birth mom has not seen called or asked about her in about 1 year... she has had many chances to spend time with her. For her birthday we called her and invited her to her daughter 1st birthday and she said she had no time... So where taking as she does not care.. as of May first he will have solo custody and we have been talking about me adopting her.. But I dont want to be married right not.. we dont have the money or the time... What can I do about it? I love this little girl.. She is like my everything as so is he.. Is there something I can do to make sure this happens??

Answer 1

it will cost money to adopt her, so if you don't have the $50 for a JOP to get married, how do you plan to pay the legal fees?

Answer 2

i think you are a good person you have to talk to a lower and go to Cort if she has right if she has had no contact then she has no rights i know this cuz i just did that with my wife's baby good luck .

Answer 3

It amazes me that people want to make a commitment to adopt bf/gf's child, but not make the commitment to get married.  So, what happens when you break up? Are you willing to pay child support? Is the father willing to take the chance of loosing custody to you, the adoptive parent?

I think the best thing you can do for this child is to continue to love her as you are. She is very lucky to have you in her life and I admire you for wanting to make it legal, I just don't feel that you and her father have been together long enough to make this type of commitment to this little girl.

Answer 4

go for it

Answer 5

don't do anything until you've said "i do" and have that ring on your finger. you might love this little girl like she were your own, but things will get very sticky if you and the father were ever to break up.

Answer 6

This child already has one mother that doesn't care for her.

For her sake you owe it to her to be married to the father if you are thinking about severing all ties to her natural mother.

Forgo the wedding plans and make it legal. You can always have a blessing ceremony later.

That little girl is so lucky to have a "mom" who cares about her. Shame on her natural mother for not being apart of her life. How could you not attend your own child's birthday???

Answer 7

I don't believe you have to be married to your bf to adopt his daughter, but I am not sure. Why not wait? If you do marry down the road then you can adopt her and make it official. but whether you do it now or then you either have to get the mom to sign over all of her rights on or own or through the court. If she won't sign them over on her own good luck, it takes a lot for the courts to strip a parent of all their parental rights. If you aren't able to legally adopt her just raise her as you are currently and make sure as she grows up that she knows even though she is not biologically yours you couldn't love her anymore if she were.

Answer 8

wait awhile. You haven't been together for very long. some or all states say you must be married to him for a year or two to do an adoption like this  (called a step parent adoption)

Answer 9

Adoption can be pretty complicated specially in situations like this one.

It is not a straight forward adoption as their is still a mother out there for this little girl seems she is not interested in her daughter and that is very sad she is lucky to have you in her life.

As for adopting her the first thing you would need to do is to seek legal advice as I do think you need permission from her birth mother you can't just do it.  So if you are serious on adopting her you would need to see a lawyer and it would probably have to go to court.  Seeing as how she hasn't seen her daughter in such a long time and this little girl does not know her mother you should have a good chance in winning.  The longer you leave it and the less the mother has to do with this child the better your case may look too.

Good Luck and hope all works out for you all in the end!

P.S you may have better luck with adopting her if you were married to your boyfriend.  None of this has to be rushed though perhaps just make it a goal to have before she goes to school that still gives you 3 and a half years or so.

Also weddings do not have to cost heaps if you are not too fussy on where you have it.  My wedding was done in our garden cost less than $1000 and was still a great day.

Answer 10

the mother of that baby should burn in h**l for what shes ding but yes you should adopt that baby you have practically been her mother so legally you should take control.......thenonly thing is your probly goin to have to fight her i cort for her to sign her daughter over to you she may want to ight you but you cna always get a lawer and he will help you wih everything......beins that the mother hasnt wanted to be in the child life for all this time you will win and you are some woman for taking up a child that isnt yours i give you madd props.........you guys can get married without the  big weeding and all all you need is a marriage liscense and you will be legally married and when you guys have the money to have a wedding you cna do it then

if you cnat afford a lawyer heres a number you can call to get a real free lawer adn they are lawers that you would normally pay like 1000 dollors for but they volenteer their services for people that cant afford a lawer  1800-510-0050.good luck email me if you need anymore info

Answer 11

you've only been together 7 months . . . WAIT.

by the way, where is the mother of the child?  Is she going to give up her rights?

How do you not have the time to get married?  even with a long line at the courthouse and having to wait half a day, isn't that a small time frame for your commitment to each other?  it doesn't sound tha tyou two are very committed to each other so i certainly wouldn't muddy up the water and adopt his daughter just yet.

Answer 12

Think about this.. because I hate to tell you but down the road if things dont work out and you split up (you already dont want the responsibility of marriage right now.. a child is a BIGGER responsibility !), you could be responsible for child support.. but if you feel that is something you are okay with .. go for it.  good luck.. and god bless for loving a child.