Adopted mothers, would you be offended if your daughter did this?

Question

I know this is all relative, and you have to have some background on my family before giving a reasonable answer:

I was adopted when I was 3 days old (I'll be 20 in 2 months), my birthmother was16 and couldn't take care of me at the time. My adopted parents also adopted my sister, Kelsey when I was 4. Kelsey is the sibling I grew up with. However, I also have 3 half siblings, 2 of which I have relationships with. There is still a half-sister who is 13 that I haven't met.

I want to buy this ring http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a85/ebilfish/ring.png

With all my siblings names and their birthstones in it, the first problem is...my mother is not christian or catholic. I don't exactly follow the religions either, but I have faith in some things, which is why I chose the cross. Secondly, putting all of my siblings, even though I didn't grow up with them...might be a touchy subject for her. What do you think?

Answer 1

No.  You are an adult and free to buy anything for anyone.  I would feel honored to be one of your mothers.  I would be thankful to have such a thoughtful and loving daughter who would buy your other mother such a beautiful gift:)

Answer 2

if its important for u u should go for it  

Answer 3

i saaaaay    do it!

Answer 4

i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

If your adoptive mother has a problem with such a loving idea - it is she that has the 'problem'.

Adoptees should be allowed to know and love ALL family members.

They are all a part of who we are.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I think because it is meaningful to you, you should go for it.  They all share a common bond with you and you want to respect that bond by wearing a symbol of love.  

Answer 7

I am a AP but it wouldn't bother me. I would be pleased to know our child has found her other half siblings. Yes, she too has 4. Same mom. different dad's i believe.

Also i follow a different religon from our child's bio mom. Our religon is very very flexible. I wouldn't care if she some day wanted to follow the religon of her choice.

Answer 8

As an adoptive mother, I would not be offended if my daughter wanted to buy something like this.  It's a beautiful ring.  I say, go for it!

Answer 9

I think that it is a beautiful idea!  Even if you don't have a relationship with your siblings, they are still apart of you and if you choose to wear a ring to symbolize that, then you go girl!  If she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to look at it.

Answer 10

You are an adult, and if it is your money, then get the ring that makes you happy.  If nothing else you can take it off when you are around her if you feel it makes her uncomfortable.

Answer 11

Hi,

Actually, what would offend me is if my children thought that this would actually offend me.  I would hope they knew me better and know that I would never deprive them of acknowledging their first family.  I actually think this is a sweet and very caring gesture.

I'm sorry that you are unsure of your mother's feelings, I hope she is able to reassure you.

Answer 12

I think it's beautiful and meaningful to you and that's what's important.  

Answer 13

Go ahead and do it. It sounds like a beautiful idea.  

Answer 14

i think you should show your mom the ring, tell her what you intend to do and ask for her input. that way she will feel like you confided in her and may be more accepting of the idea. if you just order the ring without talking to her first, she may feel like you didnt consider her feelings or something. if she knows you have a relationship with your siblings, then i dont think she would have a problem with it.

Answer 15

Hi Kaycee! Nice to see you here!