Adoptee! Did you keep in contact with your biological parents??

Question

Just wanted to know...because you don't hear it too often. I keep in contact with my daughter. I get two yearly visits with her and she knows that i'm her mother and that she is adopted. Is there any adoptees that do the same?

Answer 1

Well since I am in the process of having my "bio" Mom readopt me I'm not sure if it applies to me.

I was reunited with my Mom almost 10 years ago. Lived with her  for three years after, I was 21 at the time of reunion. I am now hoping to be able to present her with an adult adoption order to make her my legal mother once again.

We talk at least daily either online or on the phone. I am in constant contact with my "bio" sister as well... Our phone bills are insane!

Answer 2

No, I was adopted 43 years ago, never had the need to find biological parents. I believe that when the decision is made to give a kid up for adoption, live by it.

Answer 3

i did talk to my bio dad two or three timeson the phone. it was like he wasn't even dad. well its funny but when you aren't raised with the parents (real ones( its hard to really say this is my folks. they actually don't mean nothing to you yes you know who they are but its not feeings there. i knew my mom was dead at 91 and that i dint' know about them till she was dead and dad was nearly dead. it was more curiosity to find them more then anythign and their health stuff isn't so good either but i can watch that. take care.

Answer 4

There was little information given, when I was adopted.  I wish i had more to go on, so that I could remain in contact with my original parents.  I always feel a little displaced without that connection.

Answer 5

they didn't want me.

why would i want them?

Answer 6

I am currently not in cotact with my birth mother.  I have alwaysknown that I am adopted, and I found out when I was older that I had a letter from her that was written when I was a baby.  She said in the letter that I was welcome to look for her and meet her.  My parents never realy mentioned meeting her or anything while i was growing up.  But lately I have been talking about it some and they said they would support me in my decision.  But I do think it would be better for someone who wants to meet their birth parents to ait until they are older and are on their own.  Its just easier.

Answer 7

I searched and am in contact with my mom.

My son has regular contact (weekly) with his mom too.  He knows he is adopted, and that she is his other mom.

Answer 8

Keep in contact?  I never had contact!  My birth certificate and the identity of my parents are a state secret.

Answer 9

I was in contact with my birth mother, but I still am dealing with all the anger i had towards her. I hope your daughter understands the reasoning behind you giving her up. Because what happens in the future if you have another baby, but decide to keep that child? No matter all the explaining you do, all she is going to see it that you choose to keep that baby and not her. Trust me, my birth mother tried to explain to me why she kept my younger siblings and not me. To this day I'm still having a hard time in believing her. My birth mother is dead so I have to learn to forgive her, but it's hard.

Answer 10

No... in China they can just leave you on a doorstep without leaving a name or anything.

Answer 11

nope, i was adopted when i was 2 and i still keep in touch with all my biological family except for both parents.

Answer 12

My children were adopted through foster care, and are not allowed to contact their birth mother or any birth family because contact causes SERIOUS issues with the children.

Should they ever want to see their birth mother when they're adults, I will help them in their search and be with them and there for them...but I think as time wears on, with the poor choices this woman made, I think they will reconsider this.

They've only been in our home a little over a year, and birth family contact was cut off just a month prior to us meeting, so the "removal" is still too new for them right now.

Answer 13

I am currently searching for my Dad but my mom past away when I was 13 (currently 14)

Answer 14

No I've been told that my own birth is none of my business.

I think it is very important for adoptees to have the whole truth about their origins and regular contact with their first families - it prevents the genetic bewilderment that alot of us have to live with living in the dark

It's interesting - I'll place a bet that your child's records are sealed like the rest of ours.  And yet she knows the truth unlike us 'oldies'.   How then can the NCFA continue to argue that adoptees records are sealed to protect the annonymity of birthmothers, most of whom never wanted annonymity in the first place, hmmmm

J  -  I would recommend 'the Girls Who Went Away' by Ann Fessler - you will probably find that no decision was made by your mother to give you up.  It was more likely your grandparents' decision and Society's decision . . .