Adoptees: Are you still in contact with your blood parent/s?

Question

Also, do you consider the family you have now as your real and only family or do you consider your blood parent/s your real family?

Answer 1

My mother was adopted and has no desire (50+ years later) to know her "real" parents.  Her adoptive parents were her only parents in her mind.  God rest their souls.

My little brother is adopted.  He's actually my nephew though.  My sister was only 15 when she had him.  She was incapable of caring for him (Loooong story), so she put him up for adoption.  My parents adopted him.  He knows exactly who his biological mother is.... always has.  He often turns to her when he's having problems at home.  They are more of close friends than anything.

Different strokes work for different folks.

Answer 2

My blood relatives and my adoptive relatives are all real family

Answer 3

Ive just asked a question on this subject.

I believe my foster parent's are my real parents and i have no desire what-so-ever to meet my so-called "real " parents.

Answer 4

I don't think I have to identify anyone as a real or unreal family member. They are all just family.

I am in contact with my n-mom and her side of my family. Not in contact with my n-dad but am in contact with one of my brothers by him.

Answer 5

Yes, I'm still in contact with my first mom.  I consider ALL my parents my real family, just in different capacities.  

I think it would be disrespectful and a lie to deny how important any of them are to me.  They've all impacted my life and made me who I am.

Answer 6

My mother as we were always with her, but my step-father adopted us so we'd have the same name as him when we moved to a new area. I now have a good relationship with my half-sister but my half-brother is a difficult one!! My blood father I rejected due to his treatment of my mother and I disowned him till he died in 1992 and we never spoke for over 30 years. No loss, as my adopted dad was the best. He died year past in Nov.

Answer 7

Last time I looked, none of us were imaginary.

Answer 8

They're both very real to me.

People are going to say that the only REAL ones are the ones who were "there" for us, wiped our bottoms, bandaged our cuts etc. but thats BS for me. My amom was calling herself my mom before I even arrived to her, but she hadn't wiped my bottom THEN...

they're both very real.

Yes I am in contact with both of my families, natural and adoptive.

Answer 9

I talk to my natural mother nearly every day. My natural father is dead.  I talk to my APs once or twice a week.  They all live out of state.

They are all REAL to me, but I'm really neither here nor there with either one.  With adoptive there are NO personal qualities in common, with my mother, loads of commonalities, but no childhood history, and a different social class create a gulf.

But as a married woman with three children, I feel I live with my real family.

Answer 10

Bmom refused contact.  I respect her wishes and have made absolutely no attempts to contact her further.  Bdad and I had contact for about 6 months, but only to keep me away from other bfamily (he asked me to sign documents relinquishing my right to search for other bfamily, so that he would be my only point of contact--I refused).  As soon as I contacted other bfamily, bdad high-tailed it; he quit.  I do have contact with a grandmother, a full-blood sibling, aunts/uncles, and lots of cousins.

I have always believed that I have four parents.  All of them are real since none of them is imaginary.  Each has has an important role in my life.

Answer 11

My adoptive parents are my "real" parents. my bio family are like extended family,i am just glad i got to know them so i can live my life,and not "wonder" any more.

Answer 12

i dont STILL have contact i found them again. my bmother when i was 28 and bfather when i was 35, i have a great relatinship with both of them. they are very importent people in my life.

the term 'real' is so retorical. i have a mom and dad. they raised me. they took care of me and they are the only mom and dad i have. my bio family are addressed by their first names.it doesnt mean i love them less or i dont respect them it just means that title is reserved for the people i spent my life with.

many adoptees call their bio parents mom and dad. if it works for them and all are comfortable with it then they should just go with it.

Answer 13

My afamily is my real family, my nfamily is my real family, my inlaws are my real family, my husband and step-sons are my real family.  They are all part of my large and real family, and have all affected my life in different ways.  

As to the specifics about contact with my nfamily, I am in a great relationship with everyone in my nfamily.  I call all four of my parents "mom" and "dad."

I can't pick and choose who my family members are, just like non-adopted people can't pick and choose who their family members are.  The only thing I can choose is with which of them I have relationships -- the same way non-adopted people do.

Answer 14

My real mother, and my real father, abandoned me when I was an infant. Shame on them.

But good or bad, they are my real family.

I never considered the people who adopted me as family. They were less than stellar stand-ins for the real thing.