Adoptees: Have you ever had to deal with...

Question

an adopted sibling being added to your family and then have the first family come back? How did you handle it? What were some of your thoughts and feelings (beyond the "why didn't my first family come back for me too")? Any advice for those who are adopting a second time around?

Answer 1

My grandson is with a family right now that just had a baby and the child doesn't seem close to the baby. But the child is only 3. What is going to happen when he ask why did this happen to me why was i put up for adoption. Boy do we have the paper works showing that they knew the father was trying to stop everything and they hid him from his father. I just wonder how he will feel knowning all this. We will not lie to this child and make these kidnappers look like they are sent from god.

Answer 2

Sort of. When I was a young teen my adoptive parents entered an adopt to foster program and were given a sweet 2 year old boy, who was supposed to be cleared for adoption very shortly. We all fell madly in love with him, but month after month went by and he still wasn't cleared for adoption. Finally, after being in our home for almost a year and a half, he was taken away to live with his grandmother. We were all devestated. From what I hear, these days children really aren't put into those programs until they are free and clear to adopt....a child "on the verge" of being cleared would not have been in the program yet, and none of us would have hsd to have gone through all that. It was awfull having people ask me what happened to my brother, or where was he, or would I be able to go out or did I have to babysit for my brother, etc etc.