Adoptees: Were you ever placed in an orphanage?

Question

Where and what was your experience like?

Thank you for sharing.

Answer 1

There are no orphanages in the U.S., so domestic adoptees would not have that experience.  In international adoption, children in foster care tend to have fewer developmental delays and have fewer attachment problems than children who have been in orphanage care.  But, of course that's just a trend, it won't be true in all cases.  There are certainly bound to be very bad foster homes and orphanages with very good caregiver to child ratios.  I know of one orphanage in Taiwan (my daughter was born in Taiwan, but not from this orphanage) where parents actually joked that their children were "spoiled", meaning they were used to getting what they wanted and were used to getting lots of attention.

Answer 2

Spanky's story pretty much says it all.  

Honestly, how can you even ask such a question? Do you know anything about the history of orphanages, adoption, orphan trains, etc.?  Perhaps you might do some research before making such callous statements. Seriously!  

One of my good friend's mom was raised in an orphanage. I've heard some of the sad stories, but like war veterans, many don't speak of the horrible time they had growing up.

Orphanages were a way of warehousing kids. Foster homes at least try to provide a home environment to children.  Abuse was rampant in orphanages.  According the the article linked below, "The mortality rate was not much better (in an orphanage) than on the streets."

Read the following article from John Hopkins magazine.

http://www.jhu.edu/~jhumag/496web/orphan...

Foster homes and CPS are in need of reform, but going back to some archaic, draconian institutionalized form of care is ridiculous.

Answer 3

Group homes are the new orphanages of America.

I was in a foster home, but i don't remember it. I haven't contacted my foster parents yet.

To get an informative idea of what foster care is like...visit foster care alumni : http://www.fostercarealumni.org and check out their postcard section. Where foster care youth and alumni have made postcards reflecting their experiences....its an eye opener.

Of course this isn't about orphanages, but since Erin clued you in that the US doesn't have orphanages legally anymore, i thought maybe you'd want a touch of the foster care system.

One of the postcards in there actually says "group homes are americas orphanages"

Answer 4

I am answering this one on behalf of a very dear friend. She never lived in an orphanage but was in numerous group homes during her adolescence.

What was it like? She says it was lonely. A bunch of kids living in a house with only staff members around. So you wake up in the middle of the night after a nasty dream and who do you have for comfort? A staff member. Not even a social worker who may pretend to care, just someone trying to make a buck with little concern over how the kids are doing. Back to school shopping was always a treat, garbage bags of used clothes and supplies hauled into the "living room" for the kids to pick through. You had to be fast or you got nothing and if you missed out then you went to school in too small clothes and begged the teacher for a pen. Since the kids are given next to nothing as far as money goes you have to hoard everything you own, if you don't hide it well or keep it on you (even at night) someone else will steal it. You learn how to fight to survive or you find a kid who can to latch on to. Privacy doesn't exist with 10 teens sharing two bathrooms, get it done in 10 min or you are booted out shampoo still in your hair or not. And don't even think about asking for a certain meal for dinner that day, you will eat what is put on your plate.

Gee can't see how that would sound bad.

*** edit

I wanted to add in something about Canada's residential school experiment. The idea behind it was to assimilate First Nations people into "white" society. These schools were little more than orphanages. These kids were ripped out of their families and sent to live in private institutions, their culture was stripped from them, they were told how to act and react. Not very different from the group homes of today or the orphanages of days gone by. The difference was these kids had families waiting for them to return... err wait a second, my bad, so do loads of kids in care.