Adoptees: What books would you suggest to an AP or PAP?

Question

This stems from a previous question asked by sunny.

Answer 1

A book by the only adoptee who served on the Model Adoption Legislation Procedures and Advisory Panel back in the early 80s when adoption was going to be reformed before the NCFA scuppered together to thwart it:

The Adoption Mystique by Joanne Wolf Small

"Esposes, documents and confronts the effects of negative social stigma on adoption institutions, practices, adopted persons, as well as adoptive and birthparents.  it is a timely counterpoint to the misinformation and prejudices which created and maintain the myths of adoption.  Secrecy and shame lie at the heart of US child adoptions and have led our society to:

Failed child welfare policies

prejudices against adoptees, birthmothers adoptive parents and infertility

Discrimination and loss of rights for adoptees

Anti-adoptee media bias

Problems with telling a child he or she is adopted

Dysfunctional adoption myths

It is time for adoption reform and to bring the US child adoptions into the 21st century.  This book leads the way"

Answer 2

Thanks guys.  I have some new books to shop for!

Answer 3

A General Theory of Love:

http://traumatherapy.typepad.com/trauma_...

Parenting from the inside out:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/det...

Unlearning Adoption:

"Unlearning Adoption provides no nonsense, straightforward information that strips away myths and illusions down to raw reality: adoption hurts people. This much needed, long-awaited book should be read by all who struggle from lifelong wounds caused by separation from natural family members, as well as the general public who, for many decades, have been taught that adoption is `a loving option' and `in the best interests of the child.' Not only does DelBalzo offer humane alternatives to adoption, she also explains clearly why adoption is solely `in the best interests" of people who seek to adopt, the multi-billion dollar a year adoption industry, and those who work within it."

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1419672...

The Continuum Concept:

http://www.continuum-concept.org/book.ht...

Jean Liedloff, an American writer, spent two and a half years deep in the South American jungle with Stone Age Indians. The experience demolished her Western preconceptions of how we should live and led her to a radically different view of what human nature really is. She offers a new understanding of how we have lost much of our natural well-being and shows us practical ways to regain it for our children and for ourselves.

"Deserves to be read by Western parents, child psychologists, and other social engineers concerned with restoring self-reliance and well-being. There are remarkable insights here."

– The New York Times Book Review

Journey of the Adopted Self:

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Adopted-Se...

Lifton has written before on this highly charged subject ( Lost and Found and Twice Born: Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter ), but this is a more profound investigation of the trauma she sees as occurring when a child is separated from his or her birth mother and is brought up by people not of his or her blood. Lifton is for "open" adoption--meaning, to her, not only that the adoptee should have a chance to find out about his or her birth mother, but preferably that both sets of parents should get to know each other. She discourses at length, with reference to myth, legend, folklore, science, psychiatry, as well as to many personal experiences, about the crippling effect of the loss of the birth mother on the adoptee's sense of self; she even cites evidence showing that adoptive sons are more likely than natural ones to murder their parents. Despite one chapter (out of 17) devoted to him, the father's role seems little considered, that of the mother expanded to awe-inspiring proportions. And no attention is paid to the many cases in which the birth mother would not have been the ideal parent, despite the almost mystical qualities with which the author endows her. An eloquent book, but only one side of an argument in which two reasonable sides exist.

Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Whatever Happened to Mother:

http://www.naturalchild.org/whatever_hap...

( this is an ebook )

Some of them aren't about "adoption" but i think an approach to adoptees w/ a compassionate and empathetic parenting style could REALLY improve their trust and security in self and society after trauma and in the recovery period.