Adoptees and your birthday?

Question

Are you depressed , upset, withdrawn around your birthday ? ie the weeks leading up to it , do you get all moody and then it dawns on you, ah its my birthday soon.

Answer 1

I really hate my birthday, it makes me feel very alone.

I dont get depressed as such but i a very distant and i always seem to thnik about everything on my bday,so it aint much of a celebration in my eyes.

Answer 2

I'm not a huge "celebration" type person, anyway, and my birthday is no different.  I'm a low-key individual.  I just enjoy each day as it comes.  It drives my best friend crazy, because she'd celebrate the anniversary of the day the cement on the patio cracked if she could get people to celebrate it with her.  I do try to be sensitive to the fact that others do like to celebrate these days, however.

My adoptive mom used to get bothered around my birthday, wondering if my natural parents were thinking about me at all.  I was adopted in the 1960's, when all adoptions were closed -- there was no choice in that -- so my adoptive mom had no real knowledge of why I wasn't with them.

Answer 3

I have noticed that I get kind of distant, but not depressed at all.   As it approaches I find myself thinking about my adoption much more than usual.  This sounds really strange but It is like my mind drifts off somewhere...........and I feel this connection to my birth mother  thinking  that she must be thinking of the day as well.   It feels like I am sharing a deep emotion with someone I don't even know. This feeling became more profound after giving birth to my own kids.  Now I really "know"  the power of the experience of giving birth and I understand how mothers re-live their kid's births in their minds every year.   I find myself wondering if she is wondering.

(Aside....I have never felt this about bio dad.....but that might be an issue for another question.)

Answer 4

No I’ve never gotten depressed or upset  over my birthday always looked forward to it when I was younger. Now that I’m older I really don’t make a big deal out of it, it just another day , another year older.

Answer 5

No, I'm that way during November and December.  I try to look at birthdays as a day to celebrate being alive and the accomplishments of the last year and hopes for the upcoming year.  

Is there a particular reason you are sad?  If it's about being adopted why not take your birthday as a time to celebrate knowing that you have TWO women who love you.

Answer 6

i hate my birthday.  always have.

never liked it.  it always reminded me of missing my mother.

to this day, i refuse to celebrate it.

Answer 7

It's a very sad day.  I lost my Mom that day

From the age of three onwards I remember my wish blowing out the birthday candles, it was always the same "I wish I could see my mother's face some day"

Answer 8

I get very reflective - sometimes sad - sometimes a little withdrawn.

Definately more moody than usual!!

I think deeply about what my mother would have been going through at that time (she was sent away - my adoption shouldn't have happened) - the trauma she would have been feeling.

I feel sad for the baby me. It wasn't the best start to life.

Answer 9

No I do not get depressed before my birthday- I am very thankful that I have a birth-day to celebrate!!

Answer 10

Maybe this will sound odd, but I get very excited about my birthday.

I never got any kind of recognition for my birthday as a child, no card, no cake, no presents, nothing. I'm making up for it now!!

Now I invite friends over for a large bbq, complete with balloons & cake, everything I longed to have as a child, I now do for myself as an adult. Just because I can !!!!

Answer 11

No not usually around my birthday as my girls are so excited I have one coming up. It gives me a really good excuse not to dewll on the fact that , this is the day I was born and given up by my First mom. My adoptive parents ask me always on my birthday if I want to find her, I say nope I have what I want right here right now.