Adoptees do you trust anyone ?

Question

Is there anyone you 100% fully trust ?

Answer 1

i was adopted and well no not really. all my life i have found it hard to trust anyone. this has been particularly true when it comes to dating guys. when they say they want to be with me, for example, i dont believe it. these kind of feelings have caused a few arguements with my current boyfriend of 8 months. it has helped though, as he does not know im adopted, another feeling i have always had is like a 'dont speak unless spoken to' approach. i dont tell anyone anything about myself unless it so important to do so. as i said, being with him has helped me, as i have had the chance to overcome such feelings, and am getting better at trusting him. is this how you feel then?

Answer 2

No, I don't fully trust anyone.  I am much like Heather in that I will tell personal things to complete strangers with greater ease than to people that I'm close to.  I guess the fact that they don't know me and therefore won't have the opportunity to s***w me over is the reason for this.

One thing I've noticed about myself is that no matter how good my life is, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  So I guess this also translates into my personal relationships.  No matter how good a relationship is going, I'm always waiting for that person to stab me in the back.

This is probably why I have virtually no friends.  Those people who have been my friends in the past, probably really never got to know me fully.  I'm amazed by the fact that I've been in a relationship with the same man for close to sixteen years.  The truth is that I really made him earn my trust.  I put him through years of h**l and threats of leaving before I fully believed that I could trust him.

Answer 3

I have very few people I completely trust.   I have many friends but always feel like only one or two really know me, at least I only let one or two in.  I have always struggled with feeling let down by people.  I'm one of those people who is surrounded by friends but who still feels isolated.  I always end up feeling like its me against the world.

Is it because I'm adopted?  I'm not sure but I'm open to the fact that it might be.

Answer 4

I dont trust for a number of reasons. Being cheated on, being back stabbed. Non of them adoption related. I have had loss issues but never trust issues. I hope you dont assume that all adoptees have trust issues.

did I say that I DONT see the link? I am not stupid enough to think that there is no issues that come with adoption. I HAVE felt and still struggle with some of them. But TRUST? No I dont see the link, unless the child was adopted at an older age, or has been through alot of adoptions. I dont think the trust issue would effect newborn adoptions as much as older kids. I could be wrong, and If I am then I hold my hands up. But thats my opinion based on who I am.

Answer 5

No.  I only trust myself 100%.  I always expect to be disappointed and for others to lack follow-through in their promises.  I am unable to delegate.  Anything that anyone tells me they've done...I have to see it with my own eyes before I will believe it.  I can't even send my spouse to the store without a detailed list.  This is definitely not a CONTROL thing; I am willing and comfortable for others to be in control.  Also, it is important to recognize that absolutely everyone in my life HAS dramatically let me down.  Thankfully, since I expect disappointment, I deal with it exceptionally well.

Answer 6

I fully trust my adoptive parents, a couple close friends, and 99% of the time, my fiance.  I say 99% of the time because I occasionally suspect he cheated, but if he says he didn't, I trust he didn't.  So I guess I trust him 100%, but I am paranoid when he stays out late without calling because he works with some pretty hot girls lol.  Even I would be tempted lol!

Anyways, I didn't always trust... I had to deal with some abandonment issues and all the usual adoption stuff.  Since my adoption was a very positive one, and my parents encouraged me to look into any issues I had, it wasn't too difficult.  Now when I am super paranoid about being abandonded I just think "It this realisitic, or stupid?" and then I can evaluate my emotions on a more rational level.

Edit:  How do people get thumbs down for their own experience?  I mean as long as I am honest and answer the question, I don't think I really deserve a thumbs down people...

Answer 7

I don't trust anyone 100%, not ever. I was adopted at the age of 6.  I trust to some degree, but keep wary.

Answer 8

I am a product of a step parent adoption. My Step parent was an absolutely wonderful man who treated me like his own child. However, I never trusted anyone. I tried to be perfect so I wouldn't be a burden. I changed so that the men in my life would love me, then I would leave them before they could leave me. It took a lot of years in therapy to get to the root of my problem. I have abandonment issues. My psych said that it is a normal reaction to any one who is adopted no matter how stable their home life is. There are only two people whom I absolutely trust. My mother, because no matter what she never left, and my husband, because no matter how hard I tried to push him away he was always there silently waiting for me to deal with my demons, constantly loving me no matter what.

I think relationships are definitely harder for children who have been adopted because the one (or two) person in your life who is supposed to love you doesn't, or can't show it properly.

Answer 9

I do trust my parents, but i never felt adopted with them i was just there sassy kid :) but as i got older they thing that got me the most was the thing people say  don't you want to know your "REAL" family. I have a real family and they are my strength and love. I am grateful to the woman who gave birth to me but she is not my mother.

Answer 10

I wasn't adopted but..... don't you love it when people say that, anyway i'm a birthmom and I have always had trust issues. I don't really trust anyone completely, because through out my life I have tried to trust people only to be disappointed again and again.

Answer 11

Yes, I trust my mom and dad, my husband, and all of my extended family members. I also trust my bmom and my friends. I don't trust politicians, however, but I think that's just sane.

Answer 12

I trust the mailman with my most innermost thoughts before I'd trust anyone closer to me.   I know.  I'm weird.   But I've heard it's a trait that  many adoptees share.

Trust issues are huge for some adoptees.  This is understandable if you think about it - the one person, your mother, whom you grew inside and trusted would be there for you - wasn't.   It's amazing we ever trust anyone again!  but adoptees have an amazing capability to cope with what life throws at us, and there's quite a bit thrown our way kwim

Answer 13

Nope.

Answer 14

Very hard to trust anyone, so many people let me down those first few years and then later on a bit that I find it hard to get close to anyone and not fear that they will disapear or let me down. I have a few close friends but thats it and I have  a hard time with relationships with guys, starting them let alone keeping them.

Answer 15

I have to say i do have a hard time trusting people. That is something I constantly work on in my relationships, is to trust.

Answer 16

I'm not a adoptee, but me personally do not trust anyone more then 70% period. Have trusted completly in the past but having come from the school of hard knocks,I've learned some body some where is full of bullsht.Rather then "question" the one, trust no one 100%. Now after the c**p pulled on me by the PD on 4/15/08 I really trust no one in lawenforcement. All I can say for others is : watch your back.