Adoptees looking like your AP's?

Question

A friend mentioned to me tonight that he has heard (and believed to be true) that after being adopted & spending so many years with your adopted family, that you begin to take on their appearances.

Personally, I can't see this possibly being true with genetics, but thought I'd get your ideas on it anyway.

Do you resemble your adoptive parents at all?

I know that I look nothing like my ap's, but I see alot of traits (mannerisms) from my amom in myself.. what about you?

Answer 1

I don't look like my AP.  I look and act (Mannerisms, habits, sayings) exactly like my birth mom.  In fact me, mom and sis look so much alike, that when we had a picture of all three of us at the beach together, my AP could not tell us apart.

Answer 2

While my daughter shares ethnic backgrounds with my husband and I, she and I look nothing alike. She does, however, look like my husband, which is kind of ironic.  In any case, I think what you said last is what is most accurate, that the personality, mannerisms can sometimes mimik appearance t some individuals.  When peopls say that she does not look like me (strangers), I just agree with them, she is afterall, her own person, but I do not feel the need to elaborate that "she looks like my husband", or give any other information, just not theirs to know!

Answer 3

I don't think this is true.  As foster parents though people would always walk up and tell us our kids look like us.  ONe was very funny because the child was asian and I am Metis and husband is Caucasian.  We all had a good laugh at her expense.

Answer 4

I look alot like my birthmother.  My personality is similar to my adoptive mother, although I have my birthmums temper, and my two mums have very little in common appearance wise.  When I was a child I was often mistaken for my adoptive mothers biological child.  I think that some things we get from environment, some from genetics.

Answer 5

I've picked up habits and copied stuff in an attempt to 'fit in'  but no, nothing alike

People sometimes comment on my Mum and I looking alike and we just look at each other and laugh our heads off - it's just a ridiculous notion to think we look anything alike!

Answer 6

my best friend was adopted and she looks nothing like her adoptive parents. She does act like them though, her ap are really strict and they have her brain washed. Shes scared to do everything and is very quiet. If she had her real parents that werent so strict she would probley be a whole diferent person.

Answer 7

There is no way in you know what that i can look like my a-parents. I'm bi-racial and they are white. That would be pretty hard to do! =) However i have their traits! i have my dad's laid backness and my mom's take no nonsense attutide! =) I think it's a perfect combination! =)

Answer 8

Um well apparently I look a little like my afather, but then my nfamily originally comes from within 100 miles of where my afather is from in the UK. And I only resemble him and one abrother (all abrothers are aprents bio kids). This is simply because the two families that we take our looks from come from the same area, where quite a few have olive skin rather than the usual UK pale skin.

I look nothing like my amother. Me - chunky, olive skin, dark hair and eyes, her - scrawny, red hair, grey eyes and freckly skin.

But once you see me next to my nfamily I look completely like them and any resemblance to afamily is minimal. Found photo's of ancestors and they are all scarily similar to me (like my sisters and mother I inherited the face shape and double cowlick!)

Oh and other than being brought up to be an independant person like her, my amother and me couldnt be more different in terms of mannerisms and personality.

Answer 9

Well my sister and i have same dad but different moms and my mom has raised her since she has been 5yrs old now all threw life growing up people always said how much they looked alike.. I think it just may have been luck of the draw but yes they really did look alike. Of course people can't get over how much my sister and i also look alike but i always said of course we have the same dad but in all reality i look just like my mom as well. LOL so funny things do happen. :)

Answer 10

I look so much like my adoptive mom that many people are shocked to find out that I'm adopted. Not only that, but we share a relatively uncommon hereditary knee condition. We never did correct the orthopedic surgeon when he said I must have inherited it from my (adoptive) mom!

Answer 11

I am sure it IS true.

Yes, genetics will create the musculature of your body, but how you hold your body, what expressions you make with your face, how you speak, are all very influenced by environment.

Actually, I notice this far less with my own kids (both of whom I adopted) then I noticed with my cousins.

I have 4 first cousins who were adopted. Two were brothers, adopted from different birth families by my aunt and uncle. Both boys looked a bit like their (adoptive) parents.  But, they looked a LOT like each other, even though their body types were completely different and they didn't share any of the same genetics. They were very different in personality, and had very different interests (one was into sports and very macho, the other very musical and sensitive). But they looked a LOT like each other, because they had the same facial expressions.

I've seen this with my other cousins to a certain extent, but it's the clearest with these two brothers.

Answer 12

I'm not so sure about looks because, like you said, they don't have the same genetics, but mannerisms I could see. I know lots of people who act exactly like their parents. They talk in the same tone, use the same gestures, etc.

Answer 13

Um...no.  Not a chance.

My adoptive parents look nothing like me at all.  It's spooky actually how completely opposite we are in looks.

Answer 14

I have a friend who is adopted, and she look DEAD ON like her adopted mother. So much so, that people even ask if she was adopted from on of her family members, but she wasn't. Sometimes, I guess it's just the luck of the draw.

Answer 15

Well I look nothing like my AP, lol but that's because I'm asian & she's a blonde white female...we use to joke all the time with people that I looked just like her when I would tell people she's my mom or vice versa just to throw people off and see the looks on their faces.

Answer 16

My mom and my bmom look so much alike that people think they are sisters and I strongly resemble both of them. I look less like my father, but we both have blue eyes and I have many, many personality traits similar to him. My bmom says that my dad and my bdad are very similar in looks, as well, so who knows.

So yes, I look just like my mom and I act just like my dad, but I also look just like my bmom. I don't resemble anyone else in my bmom's family, though - she apparently takes after a great-grandmother and doesn't resemble her family.

Answer 17

this does not happen all the time- however with my 2 adopted children- there is a resemblance.  Our son looks a lot like his dad, when he was his age- and my daughter has curly hair like me, and our baby pics really do look alike.

Answer 18

Sometimes married people look more and more alike as the years pass....

I would think that the "look" might be more about mannerisms... styles and such...

I will say that there have been so many people tell me my children look like their grandmother or uncle but they can't as their father was adopted by the grandmother my children "look like" and the uncle was in no way genetically related...

Both of my daughters biological and adopted look like each other.... but, it is mostly because they both have VERY Very long dark hair, are tall and larger boned, and they share tastes and styles...

My sister-in-law is adopted and when I call I can't ever tell if it is her or her adoptive mother their voices are so much alike but we agree that it isn't actually the voice but the words, phrases and pauses that are the same... Oddly I don't hear it as well when both are in the same room it comes over more on the phone.

....all I know is that none of my children look much like me. My biologicals hardly have much that I show up in...  They do not have my eye or hair color, build or anything... you can't even tell I am their mother.... My little ones look more like my older kids then me.... and the ONLY one who has freckles like I do is my adopted son....

Answer 19

Both my aps had black hair and brown eyes. I have brown hair and blue eyes. The only thing physically we had in common was the fact we are very fair skinned. I look totally like my ndad. My abro was adopted from the same region in Germany our afather's family came from and looked a lot like our afather. My personality traits and interests are nothing like my afam. Those are just like my nmom.

Answer 20

It's documented that couples who live together long enough start to begin to look alike

I knew a 17 year old girl that was adopted (not sure when) and she was the SPITTING IMAGE of her Amom.. Absolutely no biological relation..

It happens

Science is still trying to find out how strong environment is, as opposed to genetics

Both are strong, IMO.. and IMO we don't know the full strength of either..

Answer 21

not a chance.  i'm sicilian.

they are german and scottish.

Answer 22

that's not going to happen with our daughter.  we're caucasion and she's hispanic.  we have blue eyes she has brown.  light brown hair and her's a deep brown.  it's not going to happen.  

the only chance is if we should get the same type of haircut, and that would be about it.

Answer 23

I look so much like my natural mom that people -- even my closest friends -- have mistaken pictures of her for pictures of me.  My mannerisms, speech patterns, phraseology, habits are so much like her that my grandfather (her dad) was taken back and exclaimed, "There's no doubt who you mama is!"  He said it as just like talking to Patty.

My husband thinks my natural dad and I are a lot alike, too.  Everyone says we have the same laugh and sense of humour.  

I certainly learned a lot habits from my aparents, but I'm so much like my first parents that people really notice it.

ETA:

Thumbs down for simple observations and reports of what people have said to me.  I just find it amusing that someone thinks s/he can logically "disagree" with that.

ETA2:

The reasons why married people look more alike over time are based on subtle similarities that attracted them to each other in the first place, coupled with shared life experiences.  They shared many experiences over the years that caused the same emotional reactions, thus shaping characteristics of the face in a similar manner.

To read more about this, here's an article:

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.ht...

Answer 24

Well, considering my children were born in West Africa and I'm of Scottish-Irish descent, I don't think we'll be looking alike anytime soon.

But that said, children can pick up some of the expressions and mannerisms of their parents.