Adoptees...what information would you want to see at your first face to face reunion with your mother?

Question

Would you want to see family photos, hospital records, etc? What type or amount of information would be overwhelming for a first face to face?

Answer 1

I've done this one already and I can tell you that you can take along anything you want but your going to be caught up in the moment for quite a while. Looking each other over like a pair of monkeys almost. my daughter and I compared hands, noses, mouths, eyes, hair, hips, legs, that includes length and width. voice patterns, finger nails. feet. everything you can show some one in a public place. I'm not sure we could have looked at pictures on the first visit. But it would be good to have it along in case you can go through that stuff.

Answer 2

I think the most important thing for me was to see my n-mom face to face....but after that PICTURES!!! Plus, pictures are a great way to get the conversation started about stuff. If I hadn't had pictures with me meeting my n-mom we would have sat there awkwardly for a long time...

I think hospital records and anything to 'written' might be overwhelming, but it would definitely be something that I'd love to take home with me to read over. When I met my n-dad he gave me a scrapbook of articles his dad had saved about the family history, and a book of family pictures that my n-aunt had made. He let me take it home so that I could read it and look it over when I had the chance. This was VERY meaningful for me.

Answer 3

Gosh, just seeing her face was miracle enough.  There's where my green eyes come from!

The non-adopted can NEVER understand what it's like to meet a your mother, without knowing her your whole life.

Overwhelming indeed.

Answer 4

Family pics, pay check stubs (to ensure your child will be adopted by someone who can financially take care of your child), pics of the house the baby will be living in, future plan for your baby, other sibling information, their health information ( you want to make sure they are healthy and will be around to take care of the baby.)

Answer 5

wen i met my birth mum4 the first time after 10yrs, i stoped the contct when i was 5/6,cos i hated her over somthing. i asked her if i could see old family photos, anything elsewould be too much ithought! she showed them 2 me aswell!

now we have a strong relationship!

Answer 6

My n-mom did not have many photos and had not kept momentos of the hospital at all but she brought one photo of when she was a child and I could tell I was her next-generation twin -- it was eerie. And nice because I had grown up with a dark haired part-Greek mother and I was light blonde Scandinavian so it was awkward always not looking like anyone and especially not being a young version of my mother.

It was enough to see her. She brought her husband along and was a godsend asking ``Where is the best place to get a burger in this town?``  We went out to a fun local place that was not loud but was busy enough it could stand the lull in the conversation.