Adoptees who have searched, or want to search for your biological family?

Question

At what age were you adopted?

Do you think the age at which you were adopted is a factor in whether or not you wanted to find your biological family?

Answer 1

I was adopted at 1 year old but had been placed with my family from 3 months

I've been searching for 18 years.

I don't know if the age at which you are adopted is a factor in whether you want to search or not.   I just want to know who my people are and the truth of my origins.

The drive to search as become stronger since having my own children

Nothing to do with my upbringing, dissatisfaction with my adoptive family or having a 'bad experience' as so many people accuse me of.   I love my parents.   All of them.

Answer 2

I was adopted when I was three months old.  When I was around 18 I wanted to meet my birth mother.  I wrote a letter to mail and stuck it in my coat pocket.  I walked to the mailbox on the corner but looked at it and turned around and went home.  

I realized I actually had no desire to meet my birth mom.  I have a much better life now than I ever would have had with her.  My sister (also adopted) met her birth mother and now it is weird for her.  She doesn't know what to do for Christmas (exchanging gifts, dinner parties, etc.)  I don't want tat weirdness.  I am completely happy in my life now and have no more desire to meet this woman who gave birth to me.

Answer 3

I was relinquished at 13 months and adopted at 2 years of age.  I have been reunited with my first family for 6 years.

I don't think age at the time of adoption or relinquishment is a factor.  The breaking of the relationship with the original family is just that, no matter what age someone is.  Loss is loss.

Answer 4

I was taken to my adoptive home at three weeks. Had to wait as my adoptive parents moved the day I was born. I wanted to find my natural parents since I was about 7. Found my mother when I was 20. I don't think the age at adoption was a factor in whether or not I wanted to find them. But then neither is the fact that my adoptive parents were nice people...I still wanted to find them.

Answer 5

I was adopted at 9 days old and found my biological family at age 20.  I only desired to know my medical history since at the time I found them, I thought I had a lump in my breast.  We really don't have much of a relationship because, as someone else said, it's weird and I can't put my finger on how to explain the internal feelings I have about it.

Answer 6

I was 29 and pregnant with my third child--ironically, which was how many of us my birth mother gave up, when she gave up me--luckily, we all stuck together, or I'd have began looking for my siblings the minute I turned 18.

I definitely think age has a lot to do with whether or not someone who is adopted wants to meet their birth family.  I was nine when my adoption was finalized, but I have siblings that were adopted as infants and they have no desire whatsoever to locate their birth family.

Answer 7

I was placed in foster care at 3 months, my birthmother didnt sign over her rights though until I was 2 and a half years old, I was formally adopted at 3, taken by child protection at 11 yrs until I aged out at 18 yrs.

I found my birthmother a few years ago & I have a half brother & a half sister and a step father. I also have a brother from my adoptive family.

I'd still like to find my birthfather, but I don't think thats going to happen. My birthmother refuses to share his info with me.

Answer 8

I was adopted as an infant and only recently thought about searching.  I too had the fantasies of them coming to "rescue me".  Part of me didn't want to ruin the illusion of them being these amazing, mysterious people.  Now that I am an adult, I just want to know my history and get some questions answered.

I can imagine that if a child was taken out of their home at an older age that they might not want to search.  They know who they are searching for and why they were given up.  If they were abused I could see why they wouldn't want to reunite.  Only someone who has been in that situation can truly answer that.

Answer 9

I was surrendered at 3 days old, adopted at 6 months.

I can remember being very young sitting at the end of my driveway wishing they'd pull up and get me. I felt kidnapped at a very young age. I always thought they were coming for me and would wait for them. It was my "childs brain" way of coping with the loss, to feel kidnapped so that it wasn't my responsibility for the loss or to protect myself from the feelings that my surrendering parents didn't love me.

I don't think age at adoption has ANYTHING to do with searching and finding who or where we come from.

Answer 10

I was adopted at six weeks. I've never had any desire to search.  Neither did my brother who was also adopted as an infant. I think our reasons were different, however. He didn't want to upset our adopted parents (even though they've always told us they would support whatever decision we made) and I have just never felt a need to meet any members of my birth family.

Answer 11

I think it just depends on the person. I am adopted. I was adopted when I was only 8 weeks old. And it was a closed adoption and now I have been searching for 8 years with no luck. But I will keep searching. hope this helps.

Answer 12

placed with afam at five days old, adoption finalized six months later. I always wanted to know and started my "real" search at age 18. it took 20 years.

Answer 13

My Dad was adopted as a baby.  He does not want to have anything to do with his biological family...  but I'd love to find out who they are.

I adopted a son and brought him home as a baby.  I wish I knew more about his biological family...  and actually, the fact of the matter is that I guess I could go to his birthcountry and investigate, but like STEPHEN says above, what if he doesn't want to know...  so I'm going to wait for my son to get older and decide for himself...  after we both go to some kind of counselling to better prepare ourselves for it, I will be by his side, in front of him or behind him with his birth family contacts--  whereever he wants to be I'll be there.

Answer 14

I was relinquished at a few days old, placed at 2 months, don't know when I was adopted. I had wanted to find my family since I was nine but it took until I was 36 before I found the courage to search.

Answer 15

I think I'm adopted, I don't fit in with my family, they don't understand me :(

Answer 16

I had mixed emotions on whether or not I wanted to search. I wanted too..then i didnt..then i thought i was going to stay at that moment where I didnt. Then i woke up one day and called an investigator and the search is on..i was adopted at 18 months.

Answer 17

I was placed with my adoptive parents at 4 days old; the adoption was finalized when I was 6 months old. I honestly don't know if the age at placement had anything to do with it.... it's interesting to think about.  

You also made me think of a related question that I'll post in a few.

Answer 18

I was placed at three or four weeks old. ( I was a preemie)

I don't think the age at which I was placed had an effect on my decision to search, it was more driven by watching my son's mom go through relinquishment.