Adopting? What do you need?

Question

My friend is adopting a sibling group. They will live together in New Jersey. There are 2 boys and 2 girls. The girls are ages 4 and 6 and the boys are 5 and 8. I know this sounds like a lot of work but they are a commited couple. Besides the basics like a place to sleep, food, education...what do these children need? Also, another question I have is they will will be going to school in the middle of the year. What is the basic school supply list for a Preschool, kindergarten, 1st, and 3 rd grader? Thanks

Answer 1

Congrats to your friend!

The basic school supply list:

Backpack, lunch box, folder, pencils/crayons.

Generally, you can ask the teacher to send a list home the first day with what they need.  The school should have enough supplies to get them by for a couple days until they all have what they need.

Kids need beds, clothes, food, a place to play, things to play with, books to read, art supplies, etc.

I'd say the first thing they'll need is patience, your friend and her husband.  It's going to take some time to bond with the children and get to know them and get to the point where they are a family unit.  Do they have a family therapist that can help and guide them through this time?

I'm very happy for these children and your friends.  It's such a blessing they can take all four children!

Answer 2

check with the schools and teachers about the supply list. different teachers require different supplies.  paper and pencil is good to start.  they need clothes and toys and books.  hopefully they'll get plenty of love.

Answer 3

each school is different. Your friend should go or call the school they will attend and they'll have a list for each grade. For those ages I think a nice fuzzy teddy bear or stuffed animal for each to hug would be wonderful.

Answer 4

Congratulations to your friend!  

The children are going to need lots of love & support.  Your friend may want to find a family counselor too so that if the children feel a need to talk, they have that opportunity.  

School supplies will really vary dependent on the school.  I would recommend contacting the local school district and see if they have a list they could provide to you or your friend.  Our preschool and kindergarten doesn't require any supplies to be provided by the family, but we always try to get something for the class to help the teacher when we can.

Good luck!  Congrats again!  I've been thru NJ adoption and the Div of Youth & Family Services there can be quite difficult - so double congrats!  : )

Answer 5

I think one of the most important thing your friend needs is a good support system not just for her but for these children too. Has she researching RAD and post partrum depression (Yes, even adoptive moms have it too). There are many things that new AP need in order to provide their children with the best possible chance at working through a tough transition. It's not always as easy as blending in.  Here is a wonderful group of women that I think could be a huge help to your friend. There are quite a few birthmoms, adoptive mom and older adoptees and even foster moms also. They talk about everything from breastfeeding the adoptive child to helping that child adjust in a new family.  It is more than just a Q&A like YA is  but more like extended family and support for those of us wading through the issues that come with adoption. Tell you friend Good Luck!

http://www.cafemom.com/group/17627