Adopting a Specific Race...?

Question

I got into an argument with my friend about people who adopt or want to adopt a certain race of child.

My friend said it was 'too much like choosing what breed of dog you want to own'.

I figure if you could choose what kind of child you want, wouldn't you? I mean, a White couple can never physically have a chinese child, no matter how hard they might want to. But, they can always adopt one.

I'm just curious about people's opinions on this.

Answer 1

I agree with your friend, but with one caveat.

Transracial adoption carries with it many unique challenges.  Not insurmountable challenges, but they do exist.  If adoptive parents do not feel they are able or willing to meet those challenges, they are best to not adopt transracially.

Answer 2

Well, my friend wanted to adopt a girl. Because the domestic adoption was out of the questions for many reasons, she looked into other countries such as China, Guatemala, Vietnam, etc. I've heard that it's really hard (and a lot of times heartbreaking) to adopt a child in US (where you can choose to adopt a white or black child). Because of that, people look elsewhere...

Answer 3

If a couple wants a baby of the same race that's OK because they may be concerned that other people (mainly other kids) will stigmatize the child for being adopted, they may themselves also want a child that it is at least possible to be their birth child.  There's nothing wrong with that in my humble opinion.

Answer 4

The only race of child I ever wanted to adopt was one from the human race.  I was blessed with one East Indian and one North American Indian and both definitely fit our criteria.

Answer 5

Holy c**p I cant believe im reading this. I completely agree. I dont think its wise for people to raise children of another culture than there own. They loose something of themselves. Yes its mostly about growing up in a happy healthy environment but how happy can you be if there is no one to teach you by example how to be yourself, then your forced to fit in as someone else. Its realy sad.

Answer 6

I agree with your friend.

Adoption is about finding the right parents for the child; not finding the right child for the parents.

Answer 7

It seems fetishistic to have a desire for a specific race child (outside your own) to me.

Answer 8

actually i sort of agree with your friend. if you choose a baby specifically for their race, it is a bit like choosing a specific breed of dog. if you just happen to get a child of another race, that is different

Answer 9

"My friend said it was 'too much like choosing what breed of dog you want to own'. "

i agree with your friend...100%!  

absent from the social experiement called "adoption", offspring (cattle, dogs, cats, monkeys, humans, et al) are a reproduction of the DNA from the parents...

hence, cats can't have dogs, monkeys can't reproduce hampsters; and humans can't reproduce children of another race. yet, adoption seems to push the envelope with this.  disturbing.

now...do i agree with transracial and transcultural adoption of FOSTER/ORPHANED CHILDREN?  absolutely!  because, these children "need" homes.  but...i do not like the "custom ordering" of kids.

honestly, i think all of this custom ordering children is sick.

ETA:  sunny....get out of my head!!!

the first thing (well actually the second, the first was "ewww.") was that this reads like a fetish. sort of like the white guy in grad school who wanted to date me and said, "for some reason, i just LOVE black women!!!"  i gave dude a subscription to "Black Tail" and "Jet"; and told him to seek help with his fetish~!

yuck.

ETA:   "I guess I'm having a problem understanding exactly why this is seen as bad? Maybe because it's unatural to pick specifics with one's biological child, so one shouldn't be picky with adopting?"--  

CORRECT, SENATOR!!! children are not to be custom ordered.  would you approve of s*x-selection termination??? would you find it appropriate if a parent left a child at the hosptial because his/her mind was set on a certain s*x and at birth the baby was different.  then why would you think selecting s*x/race in adoption is appropriate?  adoption is about the C.H.I.L.D. not the potential parents' needs or wants.