Adopting a child...again?

Question

I am debating over foster parenting or adopting. I think that I am more into adopting, because it must be hard to explain to your children "Okay they are a sister!" and then a month later they are going back to mommy. What is a good age to adopt? I don't think they will give me a baby, because I have 5 children already and they would rather give them to people who don't have kids/can't have kids. What is a good age to adopt? My husband and I were thinking around 3-5. Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

i would highly suggest no child over age 5 for adoption.  but if you are going to do foster care, then u could take a chance at any age because you will have the chance to get to know them, and see how their behavior is. but a lot of times, when they are older (above 5)  too much damage has already been done that cant be changed. and yeahhh, it is hard to do foster care, because of that reason.  but it is a really great thing to do.  just explain to your kids that this child will be their brother/sister now, but they will not stay forever.  and they will leave and go back home to their "other mom" when she is ready and doing better. dont tell your children that they might stay forever, because that wil put their hopes up.  and if they do end up staying, then just tell your children that their parents were not able to change and take care of the child, so they will be staying with you.

Answer 2

'Mould her to our lifestyle???'

Seriously. Even 3 year olds have their own personality, their own likes and dislikes.

Please reconsider adoption if that's how you feel, as you shouldn't have children unless you will accept them for who they are, not for who you want them to be.

It can be difficult changing a family, but that is what you will have to do. You should change, because you had the choice.

The child doesn't. The child is removed from all they know, everyone they know, and then you tell them you want them to do this... be like that....

Answer 3

The idea of adoption is to provide a home for a child who needs it.  You should be ready to embrace a child and love it for who it is, not try to mold it into your family.  

Get better educated about fostering and adopting.  Take the courses, talk to parents, and then talk about it.

I myself wish to adopt another child, and I would like to have a younger child so my 9 month old (who I did adopt, who did need a home, and it was private adoption), would have a sibling to enjoy life with, play with, but not a child for us to mold to our lifestyle.  I would try to mold it's life for the better, to teach it right from wrong in all aspects of life, to love it, to guide it to want the best life possible, to be able to express it's own thoughts and questions, but never to try to make it mold into our family's life and expectations.

Answer 4

We're adopting 9 and 11 year old boys....the caseworker keeps asking us if we are sure about it and are we sure that we don't want an infant...we're only 28 and 30 yrs old. Sure, I'd love to have a baby (we can't have our own) but the 9 and 11 yr old, fit into our lifestyle better--camping, traveling....etc. I guess you just need to reflect on your lifestyle.

And ladies.. ...I said "fit" not mold.  And those of you who say that you shouldn't adopt over the age of 5. . .thank you! I'm blessed to be receiving 2 beautiful smart young men.....

Answer 5

Hey, i like your name. (i used to be mom5grlz)

Wow, i have 5 girls too.  Can't imagine having another.  Wow.  can't stop saying wow.  best wishes.

Answer 6

We have adopted three children, two of our children were close to three, when we adopted them. Of course there was a transition period, but we did well.

Answer 7

I wish adoption in general could be re molded. I'm thinking within 3-5 years as well.

Answer 8

Good luck trying to "mold" any adoptee to "your lifestyle".

Adopted children come from other people, they don't share your DNA or your same talents, interests, abilities, etc.

Sure, they may pick up on and learn to like some of the things you do, but they also come with hard-wired interests of their own.

"Mold them to your lifestyle" indeed.  What do you think they are, little clay action figures?

My god, they are HUMAN BEINGS not PLAYTHINGS.

Answer 9

Whew! I would have thought 5 kids was quite enough; who are you, Supermom?!

I find 3 challenging (but lovely) I can't begin to imagine having 6 and giving them all the individual quality time they deserve.

All the best

Answer 10

I would say around 3 or 5 to because they are still young and will do all the fun things that kids do, act silly, develop there speech and put fingerprints on the wall and at the same time you will have them young enough to help develop them into a person and mold them into your family and lifestyle.