Adopting a child with cancer for a single dad?

Question

I'm still 19 but I really want to adopt when I grow up. Why ill?

My dad is a surgeon and I've always wanted to become one but I realized that it's not for me (too much stress and blood.)but I'm studying dentistry and looking forward to become an oral surgeon :),anyways, I've met a 11years old boy with Leukemia, he was so funny and full of dreams, unfortunately he died 3 months later. that’s why I want to adopt an ill child, I want to buy him/her everything and make them feel loved. but why single :) you can see that in my profile.

but is adopting an ill child a good idea?

I mean I can help people with cancer, HIV..etc by donating money.

Answer 1

Well, parenting is not about buying a child everything, but you are young!  As you mature, I am assuming your idea of parenting will, too.

But your ideas are good ones.  Just see how this develops over time.  And make sure you are not caught up in the "rescue" of a child, rather than the sincere desire to parent a child.  Make sure you are not wanting the recognition, the attention you would get from adopting a very ill child.  It has to be 110% FOR THE CHILD, and 0% for you.  Be very careful about that.  Reach deep down and make sure your motives are 100% correct first.

Give this a few years.  You cannot adopt until you are 23-25 anyway.  Good luck!

Answer 2

I think that is a really wonderful ambition, thr world needs more people like you. BUT many adoption agencies will not adopt a child to a single parent, let alone a sick child. You are 19, and trust me, one day you will be a beautiful, loving caring lady, who will share your views; and you'll want to spend the rest of your life with her. Good luck in your schooling; and for now go an volunteer, I am sure many agencies would be more than happy to have someone like you on their team.

Answer 3

Maybe you could consider fostering, then if it works out adoption.  If you provide the child with love, they will feel like a part of a family regardless.  You sound like a great person.  I wish there were more like you in the world!

Answer 4

it is a very bad idea if ur just adopting cause they are sick, thats simply a bad reason.

Answer 5

I believe you have a good heart. You are too young to worry about adopting anyone healthy or not. One day when you are ready it would be wonderful and maybe you will have a wonderful wife to help you. Even if you don't adopt you can help sick children with your time, playing games, reading, just giving your time. Not all sick children need to be adopted. Many have parents and would love your time to help them out to give the parents a break. You can start doing that now. Give of yourself. Worry about the future later. Do what you can now:O)

Answer 6

Adopting a "medically fragile" child or child with medical "special needs" is a special ministry all its own.  There are people who do it...there are singles and couples who do it & there's nothing wrong with following that path.

if you have the means (financially and emotionally) to deal with the stresses and requirements of that child and you feel led to do that, there's no reason not to do it.  Go for it!

I can't imagine being a child with a terminal illness and in addition to that not having a forever family where I knew I belonged.

Bless your ever-loving heart!

Answer 7

I think it's a great idea.  You might want to make sure that you can support yourself and the child first though.  Especially if that child doesn't have any parents to help them through what they are going through.

It's much more personal for you to spend time with a child than just donate money.  You can help them through it all and they will probally be very grateful to know that someone will be there for them.

Answer 8

I praise you for your ideas, but I think that you might change

your mind about a female being in your life, on a short

time basis, when you get older, because you will change,

as you mature into adulthood, and reach your potential in

the dreams you have.

With your level of intelligence, you need to have some

children of your own...we need some intelligent people

in the upcoming generations...and just think, perhaps

you might have a child, who might have enough dreams

to take him to the Whitehouse.  Would you want to miss

out on that?

I have so much compassion for children too, and I help

whenever I can...

My project which I do is send a little money each month

to St. Judes Hospital, in Memphis, Tennessee, and they

send a child's photo to me each month...and I know I am

helping...

I handstitch a crib-size quilt, and send to them as I can make

them, and they are my own from an original pattern. I put a

Cross the full length of the quilt and put lace or for boys I

put another edging on it, but I call these quilts "Comfort

Quilts", so they can bring Spiritual Comfort to the child and

to the family.

I am on a fixed income, but I manage a few yards of cloth

each month, so I can do this project...for I know it brings

comfort to them...

I wish I could find ''sponsors'' for these quilts, so I can put

names on the quilts of those who helped sponsor this

Quilt Ministry....

I've been complimented on these quilts too, and they are

beautiful...

Money is always good, but I like to "leave a part of me, for

the child to hold close".

It took years for me to know that I have a birth defect, and

now that I'm this old...a senior citizen...I am feeling Blessed

and thankful for the ''calling'' for this type of Outreach Service

and I work at it when I can.

I plan on buying me a brandnew sewing machine, one of

those new Singer's that is a treadle with a flat bobbin...

because I really don't like an electric one...and my feet

get to itchin' to move, so that way my feet get some

exercise too...while my hands are busy...

There are many ways we can help those children have

some comfort.

One thing I did. I took 4 family photographs of me and my

granddaughter, when she was younger (she's my Poster

Child), and I had a 'flyer" made up and on it I wrote a

Thinking of you Letter and put the Name of the Ministry

on it ( United Heritage Christian Ministries....Tender Love

Program for Children). And I would send one of these

sheets of paper, with a gift.

Any gifts have to be wrapped in Plastic Wrap and sealed

the edges with cellophane tape....

Marlo Thomas sends me "Thank You'' notes and letters

from time to time...I loved her dad in the family movies and

I have great respect for her, and for that hospital, which is

dedicated to the lives of the children.

I hope you reach your goals, and change your mind about

having children, for parent hood is one of the Best Institu-

tions there is....I wouldn't trade my children for anything..

even if they didn't grow up to meet my expectations.  TF

Answer 9

adopt one just dont get to atatched

Answer 10

Why not volunteer in hospital for terminally ill children, at least for now?Spend a lot of time there.Be someone the kids can depend on to be there.You will get a better idea of what it means to have the kind of dedication it would take to be the parent of a dying child.

Answer 11

It's a great idea!

You are helping kids in need.

You must have a great big heart in your body!

Good luck with all of it!

Answer 12

You are a very good person. Also very leval headed for a 19 year old male. Adopting is an awsome thing. But in-order to touch more children's lives look into the big brothers big sisters organization. Or a nother one of similarity. Keep up your outstanding intentions. We need more young people like you in our world. :)

Answer 13

Very commendable

Answer 14

Hello Dear Master Mind

This takes a lot of heart to do what you want. I do have another suggestion that you may very well like. Donating money for reseach will be one, but what I am talking about takes the kind heart you seems to have. Sick children need love that no secret, at 19yrs you are full of energy and you could make MANY children very happy even if some of them may be on their last mile. What I am suggesting is be a volunteer in kids hospital and use your brain and whatever contact you may have to do your best to realize a realistic dream they may have. Sometime it will be difficult but remember that there is enormous amount of people that will support you (when you do good the world will help)

I don't know which country you are from (just yet because I'm sure you will be in contact with me) but our company is present in 19 countries, lets see what we could do!

Answer 15

WOW, the world needs more people like you!!  I was so touched by your actions, that I got misty eyed!!  Dont let go of that dream.  You are an angel!!

Answer 16

Many kudos to you!!!!!!!! I had a child with leukemia, they are wonderful kids. I hope that when you do adopt, that you will be able to handle the stress involved with dealing with a sick child day in and day out. It is very difficult and heart rendering. These kids need all the love and attention that they can get to help them fight the disease. i hope and pray that you will be one of the lucky ones that your child will be able to overcome the disease. Mine didn't, she was only five and a half years old when the Good Lord called her home. That has been 25 years ago and it still hurts. If you do adopt a sick child make sure you are emotionally strong enough to deal with all of the possibilities. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 17

Adopting a child does not seem like a good idea for you at this time.  So many things in your life will change dramatically.  It will change dramatically in the next year. even.

I would suggest you volunteer your time to a non-profit organization.  Cancer wards, HIV clinics, abuse clinics.  In my years as a volunteer, I have touched and been touched by the lives of so many.  It is very rewarding.  When you volunteer your time, you will also get a better understanding of what these people go through, and your sense of compassion will expand.

Don't adopt until you are older.  You need to have a house, a good job and a stable environment.  No adoption agency in their right mind would allow a 19 year old kid to adopt a human.  A puppy, maybe.   When you are older and more stable, I think you should revisit this idea.  You seem like you have a good heart.  Go volunteer.

:-)

Answer 18

Keep the dream in your heart as you mature.  You're not ready yet, but someday you might be.  Also, from a strictly practical standpoint, keep in mind that you are going to need good medical insurance that will extend to your dependents.  I say that because sometimes getting good medical insurance takes years, and so that's something you can work on accomplishing sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, there's a lot you can do.  My cousin is really involved with Relay for Life, an American Cancer Society event that raises money for research and patient services.  She raised *$20,000* through year-round work and creative plans before she was even old enough to drive!!  Sure, people are needed to donate money... but people who donate time are needed even more (whether they spend that time fundraising, volunteering at the Cancer Society, helping out at a childrens' hospital, etc).