Adopting a family member in Texas?

Question

My nephew and his girlfriend, knowing my husband and I cannot have our own children, want us to adopt the baby she is pregnant with. We are planning to seek legal counsel for paperwork, etc. (so please don't say "get a lawyer") But what I would like to know is...

She is about 4 months pregnant right now. When should we start the paperwork process? What are the stipulations with background checks, home studies, etc. in Texas? How much can we expect this to cost? Will my husband and I be able to bring the baby home with us from the hospital? Any other suggestions, advice. or information?

Answer 1

sorry to say this but i think that is your best bet to go and see what a lawyer has to say.they will probably know more than anyone on here(i know your just looking for advice)but seeing that you dont have any answers yet this is the only advice i could give.have you thought about having an open adoption? if you dont know what that is,its where the birth mother and father have contact with who has adopted their baby.And im assuming since you are family that you will probably see each other alot.And just so you know,giving up a baby is very hard to do(ive never done that but have watched shows where someone gives up their baby and is absolutely distraught about it)and im not sure about texas but the show i watched gave the birth mother up untill the baby was born time to change her mind whether she wanted to go through with it or not.she did since she was a teen and could not provide for the baby but was extremely upset about it.I just hope you have a good outcome with this.Good luck.sorry about not having more advice for you.

Answer 2

My mother in-law adopted her nieces four kids after she died. Before you get the kid they check your house quite a bit and yes sometimes they will show up with little to no warning. Then afterwards they say you can have the kid *no the process will not be done just yet* You get checked about once or twice a month. So always keep a clean house and stocked fridge. You should start the paperwork as soon as you can so that it gets done faster. I dont know exact prices. But because the fact that your adopting her, the state pays you a certain amount a month, you can get wic for the baby til they are five no questions ask, as well as whichever insurance company you want to use that des supports *mercy care, healthchoice, etc.* til they are 18 and you dont have to refile all the time like a normal person would. Only when you move.

Answer 3

Well, "WannaBabyNow" (nice name), don't get too excited until after this baby is born and the mother has had a chance to truly decide if she wants to parent or relinquish.  

Is the only reason they are giving you this baby, because you and your husband are unable to have kids?  Have you given any thought whatsoever to how the child might feel about this?

Adoption is not all sunshine and daisies and making adult's dreams come true.  There are very REAL consequences to the child...feelings of loss and abandonment, inability to trust and form healthy relationships, low self esteem, etc.  Being given away by your own mother is not something that is easily overcome no matter how loving and caring the adoptive parents are.

Read the "Primal Wound", "Journey of the Adopted Self", etc.  These are great books that will give you insight into the struggles of adopted people.

Then make sure your nephew's girlfriend truly understands what abandoning her baby will do to her child.

Because adoption should NEVER be about you getting your wishes fulfilled for a baby...it should ONLY be about finding a good home for a child who truly NEEDS one.