Adopting a family members children?

Question

I have no experiece withr raising children I am 31 years old and becoming a mother for the first time I have waited so long so that I could give my child all my attention now my husband family wants me to adopt her five kids that is somthing very hard for me to do this is a life long comminment I dont know if this is what I ask for. I know I may sound selfish but I feel like I worked so hard in life to avoid this and now I am expected to become a mother of six?

Answer 1

hi

well you did say that you have waited so long to have a baby/kid

i don't know if you believe in God but i do and that is a blessing

yo know how you said u have waited so long to have kids and now you might have 6! wow! they really trust you as a good person/parent for them to do that  

but then again I understand where you are coming from

a first time mother,no experience this is a good road to get experience

put you're mind to it and you can do it I know it sounds Cornie but its true

you are getting what so many people want

by the way how  old are they?

you are truly blessed

get back to me if anything

-Kim      

Answer 2

You are not selfish, do not let anyone pressure you, especially if the parents can take care of them. That is just crazy that they want you to take their 5 kids. I wouldn't do it. It would be different if the parents were dead or junkies. You are not selfish.

Answer 3

there's no easy answer for this. but you don't have a choice. they need you and you should take them in. most of them are so young you and your husband will be the only family they know. please do the right thing and give them a home. before you know it you'll love them so much you'll never want to leave them.

Answer 4

You just asked this question.  I am going to give you a similar answer!

My child cries every night for his first / other family.  Don't let you're family be put into foster care - if they are not already there.  If it were your nieces would you throw them away as well?

Answer 5

well, I've read the other answers and find I don't agree with most of them.  I don't perceive you as selfish.  Your seem to be a thoughtful, mature person who wanted to be ready to parent before beginning your own family.

If you take on more responsibility than you can handle, you won't do any good to the kids, your own self, your own baby.  Five children is an Enormous responsibility.  Most people I know would consider that pretty overwhelming.  They will be needing all the love and support they can get after all that has happened in their lives, and you need to look out for yourself first, and then the baby you expect.

Don't let anyone manipulate you into this with guilt.  It would be wrong of them, and not serve the welfare of anyone in the situation.

One option is to consider what, IF anything, you can contribute to the problem.  Can you take  one or two of the children for a short time?  If they go into foster care, can you and other family members keep contact with them while everything gets sorted out for their futures.

I think your primary responsibility is not to your husband's family, or his nieces/nephews, but to your own self, your own expected baby, and your own marriage.  I don't see how taking in 5  needy children right now would  really be a helpful, constructive step.    

Answer 6

I'll consider taking a baby off your hands. Got any?

Answer 7

who gives a d**n about your husbands family? you need to see what you and your husband wants not his family.

You're 31, you shouldn't be pushed around like that. Think for yourself.

Answer 8

I think you should look at the big picture.

Your husband wants to keep his family together.

Your entitled to not be a part of it.

He's could just divorce you and find another woman willing to love him and his family unconditionally. There are many women out there that would admire him for trying to keep his family together and would love to be a part of it.

I would be careful with your own wants because he may make this decision for you. I've seen it happen.  

Answer 9

It is a life long commitment but so is wondering where the children are, if they need you, if they cry for you every night. Those kids depend on you now, if your husband is agreeing to help with the work I would definatley give it a shot, what can it hurt? Saying no to those children will change their lives for ever. With a family that large they will be split up and depending on their ages may never see eachother again.