Adopting a friend's baby.?

Question

I don't want to go into my friend's situation and as to why she is thinking about letting me adopt her baby. I just want to know how many different type of options do we have for this? Is there a way that I could take care of the baby and be her legal guardian and have the option if my friend wants to have her back, then she can? Me and her have discussed the situation and she just doesn't want to put the baby up for adoption and give it to someone she doesn't even know. I'm not looking for criticism I just would like some information as to where we can go with this. If I can do this by not spending too much money that would be great! But if in the end she wants to fully give me the child and I be the "mommy" of the baby what ways is there to go with that? ( I do have two children of my own. My husband and I have a good stable jobs. Please don't ask about my friend's situation because I will not explain it only for respect of her. Thank you so much!)

Answer 1

I am thinking that it is possible to become a guardian and custodian of a child. This allows for the possibility of your friend having the child back if she is sometime able. You make all the decisions, and are financially responsible.

This is the way it is in Canada, but I am sure there are similar things where you are!

Answer 2

In California the concept of "guardianship" is pretty much as you described it.  It is revocable but allows you to make the health and education decisions for the child while you are the guardian.  That may be different in different states.   In San Diego, if your friend qualifies based on income guidelines, there is a Volunteer Lawyers Program with a guardianship clinic, and they would help her do the paperwork at little or no cost.  Since that is a local program, it is going to be different in different communities.  But if your friend (or you) is relatively low income, you could contact your local legal clinic and see if there is a lawyer that works on guardianships pro bono.  The California paperwork is not all that difficult if you are good at paperwork: if I were doing it for a client, I might quote $3000.  Look for small family law practices and ask if they have a junior lawyer who could help pro bono.

Answer 3

I agree with dueinoctwith#3 (by the way congratz to her)

And as for the person talking about a child not being a pet that you can just pass around I would like to say, just ignore that.

Granted they are right about a child needing love and stability but you also have to consider what would be best for your friend.

If she isn't ready for this child (whatever her story may be) the child will get a lack of all the essentials and still suffer in some way.

So do what you and your friend thinks is best for both you, her, and the child.

Good luck to both you and your friend!

I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Yes she can get you full legal custody which would mean you have custody but later on if she wanted the baby back and you were ok with that then you would go back to court and sign custody back over to her.  That arrangment also allows for her to have court order visitation rights to still get to know the baby and have a relationship in case she does change her mind and want the baby back in the future.   If she wants you to adopt the baby however then she wouldn't have any rights after 60 days once the papers are signed but you could still allow her to have a relationship with the baby if you wanted that would be your choice.  You might want to go with Full custody or Temp custody first though and see how things play out.

Answer 5

I'm not saying what you're proposing can't be done, but it will be difficult.  That baby is not something that can be passed back and forth like a casserole dish.  Its not a pet that can be given a new home at any time.  Its a person that needs love, stability, and consistency.

If your friend has any ideas about getting the child back, I would not do this.  You are looking at a potential disaster.  I think an open adoption could be a good option, as long as you and your friend establish boundaries in advance.

Answer 6

You can apply for custody of the child, though I would recommend joint guardianship. However, there would need to be finances discussed... child support, other expenses and of course who would be able to file taxes under the child's name. Those will come up.

Both of you should see a lawyer about your options and ask A LOT of questions.

Make sure it is all about the baby, and not about you, her or anyone else.

Answer 7

she is very lucky to have a friend like you that is willing to help her take care of her baby untill she gets back on track.