Adopting home or away?

Question

My partner and i are considering adoption. We can adopt in the uk, we "tick the right boxes" so to speak, however we're considering looking in to adopting in an other country, do you think this is wrong? should we try here first? Part of me thinks, maybe we should adopt here, because of some patriotic thing in the back of my mind, yet another thinks, kids in somewhere like russia, where the orphanages can't afford to feed these children properly should come first. What are your thoughts on this?

Answer 1

Stick with your country, just because other countries have other kids, what about the ones that do live in your country and would like to have a loving family.

Answer 2

My little sister is from China and so many people talk bad about it and how its just a fashion statement.  I hate them for saying that.  My parents did not adopt because of that and it really hurts to hear that.  I think you should follow your heart.  Do what YOU think is the RIGHT thing to do.  The ultimate decision is your partner's and your decision to make.  Either way, from your country or international adoption, people are going to talk down on you.  Some will say, what are you thinking adopting internationally?  There are so many children in your own country and yet you go there first?  Thats not smart.  And stuff like that but if you go inside your country... What?  You adopted from here?  Can't people take that away?  They are all mean and abused kids?  Why here?  Are you racist for doing this?  And stuff.  Personally, I have always wanted to adopt someone from Russia when I'm old enough.  Every child needs a home, no matter where they were born.  Every child is equal.  And every child deserves a fair chance at living, playing, and LIFE!  God Bless!

Answer 3

So many people want a baby to adopt without thinking about all the other ages of children in the US who've been abandoned and need families.

BTW, it confuses me why someone would go overseas to adopt then, if they can't get babies.  There are SO MANY CHILDREN WHO NEED OUR HELP HERE!

Answer 4

My only advice would be to educate yourself thouroughly about attachment disorders and other issues in children from each country.  I know that many children from Romania and Russia tend to have severe issues due to the living conditions they have prior to adoption.  I have taken care of many of these kids, and it's extremely sad.  Some children lose the ability to form attachments - some can be a danger to themselves or others, and some (probably very few, but I worked with them, so this is what I saw) end up needing to be institutionalized well into adulthood.  We have a mom who shares often on this board who's child has RAD, so she might be a good person to talk with, as I've only worked with RADishes in a professional setting (which is very different - children with attachment disorders do not feel threatened in a treatment facility because they are not EXPECTED to develop attachments while in treatment, so I didn't see their "true" issues...I may have a whole lot of accumulated knowledge, but no real-life, 24/7 experience with raising a child with RAD).

Sorry, I'm rambling.  Another area you might want to really research is how ethical the adoptions are from other countries.  I'm thinking that Gershom would be a great person to talk to about this, as she has researched the practises of adoption from other countries.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Ask your self what you would like to accomplish through the adoption. An older child because it is unlikely anyone will adopt them. Chance are not as great to be adopted like younger kids. Younger children because you want this experience. You can go through Department of Children and Families(DCF) . There are a lot of children in foster homes/orphanages needing to be adopted, however they have problems too,unlike babies (emotionally). It just depends on how you want to help someone as well as help your self. I think It is wonderful that you are thinking of this. You can also be a foster parent too!

Internationally, that is great also. It doesn't matter where the child comes from. The point is there will be one less child unloved. Your love will save one child, no matter where it comes from that is the important thing.

Do what comes from your heart. Do not listen to what other people think. You do what makes you feel great, local or international.

Answer 6

We adopted from overseas rather than our own country.  That decision gets a lot of criticism on this forum.  However, I am unapologetic about it.  We researched all of the adoption options thoroughly and chose the one that was best for our family.  

I believe that every child deserves a safe, loving and secure home, no matter what country they originate.

ETA: Most children available from overseas are NOT babies.  It is very rare than a infant is available for adoption.  Toddler age is about the youngest, with the majority being school-age children.