Adopting my great-niece. Should I also adopt her soon to be sibling?

Question

It has been a year since the child was removed from her parents custody.The parents are addicted to meth. Father is habitually and currently in jail. Child was mal-nurished and severly neglected. Mother has been given every opportunity to rehabilitate. She always runs away from any and all programs. Parents are fighting for custody. Mother is pregnant again (another guys baby). I have four other children. I was told by the social worker that the new baby would be removed at birth and I would be the first one called. Is it wrong not to take this new baby? I want my daughter to know her parents and siblings, she has three other older siblings that I keep in contact with (two are dad's kids who live with their mothers & another who lives with his father)....I'm just so tired.

Answer 1

I would take the baby if I were you.

Answer 2

You are a god send , but follow your heart.  If you attend church and if theirs a couple who are looking to adopt ,talk to them about this upcoming baby.

Answer 3

Yes you should she needs you and so will that baby.

Answer 4

no it is not if you could give her a good home with bio. family that would be the best thing for her just make sure there are strict guidelines for the mom and dad. My sister was 16 when she had her first and she gave her to my oldest sister it was the best choice that she has ever made if you can work it do it.

Answer 5

I know that in our state, the bulletin will say something like "the adoptive parents must be open to communication with [the child's] siblings".  Yes, it would be great if you could take on one more child, but if you're feeling overwhelmed, it might be best for these siblings to both have the attention they need, but in separate families.  Do everything you can to make sure they know each other, of course, but don't put yourself in a bad position.  You've still got to have the energy for the kids you have.  It wouldn't help anyone to have you stretched so thin, that none of the kids are getting what they need from you.  Good luck!!!

ETA:  If you're adopting through the state, you should see if there is money available to help you out.  You can go back and change the adoption contract to include (I'm drawing a blank and can't remember what it's called) money to help with medical expenses, and the other services you mentioned.  It should be in both children's adoption contracts for all medical to be paid in full by the state.  Talk to an adoption lawyer.  It sounds like this could take a huge burden off you (not to say that your child is a burden - money shouldn't be a hinderance to parenting when you adopt through the state.  They have programs to help.), and it could make it easier for you to take on another child - IF you feel you can handle it, that is.

Answer 6

yes it would be best if you do....

Answer 7

If you are taking one of the siblings, you really should take the other.  Taking a newborn, and if this baby will likely have added challenges because of meth exposure in utero (I'm not knowlegeable about the challenges from a meth mom to a fetus), that is a big responsibility, and can feel overwhelming.  

It would be best for the children to be together though in the long run, and if you just can't do it right now, then there is nothing wrong with saying this.

Answer 8

Yes you should ABSOLUTELY Adopt both. If you are two tired to adopt the second then I suggest that you dont adopt the first

I know its really hard, I have two and its a lot of work, but please dont split them up :(

Answer 9

yes

Answer 10

Only if you feel you can handle the responsibility of two new children at one time.  The newborn will be coming off meth addiction, and will bring with him/her an entirely different set of obstacles to overcome along with the typical "newborn" fun-stuff.  Make sure you are WELL PREPARED to deal with the challenges of taking on this responsibility and what these children (if the older child was also exposed to meth in the womb) will face throughout their lives as a result of fetal drug exposure.

Good luck; to you and these children.

Answer 11

you are doing the best you can,let someone else adopt the baby that will love it.or maybe see if you can take it as a foster child and receivepayment for it.good luck

Answer 12

you adopting them would be the best thing for them.u sound like a great person dont worry it is the right thing to do good luck you have my support

Answer 13

You have a big heart, God bless you. I would take the other baby too in a heartbeat. God will provide, he hasn't let you down yet, one more wont make much of a difference. I wish someone needed me like this. I would love to take a child in.

Sorry about the situation, this must be hard on you.Just pray and ask God what He would have you do.

Answer 14

You have to do whats best for you and your other children if you think you can handle it and can afford it  I think you should but if you cant shouldn't feel bad that your not able to . hope it all works out for you

Answer 15

Well my dear, seeing that I know you, I know that this is tearing you up inside.  I don't have an answer for you but I do know that you are a woman of great faith and that the answers will come to you in God's time.  

You have a beautiful family and I know that this new baby would  have plenty of love with you, however, I also know that there are so many good people looking to adopt, especially babies, who would also love the new baby.  So you see, whatever is presented to you through prayer will show you the way and all will be okay.  XXXOOO

Answer 16

Sounds like u have enoug on ur plate and if u really cant do it then no it is nto wrong for u not to adobt, I twould be a nice thing to do, but aperson can only do so much right!