Adopting my sister's child...has anyone done something similar?

Question

I am 31, married for 7 years no children, well established financially and emotionally. My sister 26, has recently been in AA, and NA for the last 9 months. Became involved with another member of the program and is now 4 months pregnant. Father of the baby is in prison, won't be out till Sept, baby is due Dec. 1st. Sister is considering a private adoption, alot of my family is asking if my husband and I would be interested in adopting her child. I would consider it but I have NO idea how that would work and the emotional issues it may cause. I just wanted to see if there were any people out there that have done this and how it has worked out?

Answer 1

If she will leave you alone , other then that it would be a nightmare she will interfere with the raising of that child forever.

Answer 2

I know a couple who adopted their sister's baby and it worked out beautifully! She stills sees him on occasion and they are "friends"

Answer 3

I know a lady that adopted her teenage daughters baby. It worked well. The daughter is now married and recently had a misscarriage, and I think she has a 2 year old as well... But her mother has her older daughter. I didnt' know them well, but it seemed to work. The daughter had the baby as a teenager, and the girl moved out and got married and the baby (now teeanger) stayed, of course, with the adopted paretns (orignally grandparetns)

Answer 4

YES, MY MOTHER ADOPTED MY BROTHERS 3 KIDS....WE HAD TO GET A LAWYER AND GET THE RIGHTS OF THEIR MOTHER TAKE AWAY.BUT THEIR WAS A GOOD THING MY BROTHER TURNED HIS PART OVER TO HER. WE HAD TO FIGHT THEIR MOTHER FOR 2 YRS. TO PROOF THAT SHE WAS A UNFIT MOTHER. IT WAS VERY HARD.HAS YOUR SISTER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOU ADOPTED HER CHILD? THE FATHER WILL HAVE TO GIVE UP HIS RIGHTS TO THE CHILD.AND SOMETHING IT IS HARD. IF HE IS A REPEAT DRUG OR THIEF OR ANYTHING THAT IS BAD. GET A LAWYER.PLEASE.... AND YOU NEED TO ASKED TO TOO,IF SHE IS GOING TO BE IN THE CHILDS LIFE TOO,AND THE FATHER TOO....IT IS A LONG THING,UNLESS THEIR BOTH GIVE UP THEIR RIGHTS TO THE CHILD... IF YOU GET TO BRING THE BABY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL THEN YOU WILL  HAVE A GOOD CHANGE OF BONDING WITH THE CHILD. GO FOR IT. IF YOU WANT A CHILD THEN GO FOR IT..BECAUSE IF YOU WANT INTILL THE CHILD GET OLDER,YOU WILL LOSE SPECIAL TIMES. MY NEICE AND MY NEWPHEW WENT THOUGH A BIG CHANGE BECAUSE THE WERE 10,11,5.THE GIRLS STEEL LOVE THEIR MOTHER AND AT FIRST THEIR THOUGHT WE WERE KICKING OUT THEIR MOTHER,BUT IT WAS HER CHANGE NOT OURS. BUT IF YOU DO ADOPTED THE CHILD,PLEASE TELL THE BABY SHE WAS ADOPTED AND THAT SHE WAS VERY MUCH LOVED.AND TELL HER ABOUT HER PARNETS AND THAT SHE IS A SPECIAL CHILD. LOVE IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART. I WILL NOT BELEIVE THIS,THIS IS MY MOTHERS 3 TIME ADOPTED KIDS. I WAS FIRST (40YRS AGO),AND THEN SHE ADOPTED ANOTHER ONE (37 YRS AGO),AND NOW 4 YEARS AGO. IT HAS BEEN GOOD AND BAD TIMES,BUT DON'T LET THIS GET YOU DOWN.JUST DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO....GOOD LUCK.....

Answer 5

My oldest Sister lea, had a friend who went through that, lea of course took both of her children, and i just watched how it worked, it was fine, but to me, it depends on how the child ( ren ), act, if their bad or what not, but lea took care of them like they were her own. Even though lea already had 1 child.

Answer 6

Me and my husband are in the process of fostering/Legal guardianship for our nephew (we live in the UK) My brother in law and his girldfriend are drug users and their baby was taken from them as he was born withdrawn from drugs. There is going to be a court case to decide whether his parents are fit enough for him to go back there or whether he woul be best with us.

We have no children of our own and we love our nephew dearly. It is a lengthly procedure and it can be quite difficult but it is so worth it. If our nephew comes to live with us he will still have contact with his biological parents but live with us, we dont have a problem with this as we just want what is best for him.

Only you knows if its best for you and your husband. There will be home visits and lots of questions asked to you. They will want to know if you intend on having your own children etc and how it would affect your niece/nephew if you did. We are well prepared for our nephew if he comes to live with us but we cant predict the future. All we can do is our best and love him as much as we can. Yes, at times I am sure it will be difficult but I dont think it will be anymore difficult than having your own children, everyone has good times and bad, you just have to take the rough with the smooth.

I wish you and your husband luck in your decision. Please let us know what you decide. Do you live in the UK?

J x

Answer 7

The biggest thing is getting them both to sign over parental rights.You need an attorney so all goes as planned.You should start working on this well before the baby is born get all the i's dotted and t's crossed then after birth as long as the child does not need to stay in hospital you can take them home free and clear as their parents.It seems your sister already has made up her mind and that is good that the child can stay in the family where they belong. The only problem I see is the father and evn your sister would have to get him to sign his rights away before a private adoption.

Answer 8

mmmm... You are allowed to, but is a very delicate situation... You might want to make sure u have a lawyer supporting the whole process because if your sister change her mind u might have problems.... Good Luck!