Adoption, TTC, Twins... I've got a ton of questions!!!?

Question

We are trying to conceive (just shy of a year now) but I've known since I was 18 that conception may not be possible so I've always wanted to adopt.

1. How long did you try? What proceedures did you go through before "calling it:" and proceeding with adoption?

2. How did you decide on an adoption agency? What influenced your choices?

3. We're interested in domestic (US) adoption- twins of any ethnicity and either s*x or both- preferably infants but up to age 3... Would this be a more difficult adoption?

4. What kinds of things do adoption agencies look for?

We have been married 2 years (5 yr. total), we bring home above average income, we're both over 25 but under 30, We both have B.A's. We both have experience with young children. We have a large extended family nearby/are well established in the area where we live. Before placement I would like to begin an in-home day care so that I could be home with the children while still earning $...

Thank you!

Answer 1

your very established, congrats with all this planning. i google adoption photolistings.

Answer 2

We were ttc for about 3 years before we started the adoption process. We did not go through any fertility treatments, we had always wanted to eventually adopt, just felt at that point it was meant to be.

I do think that only being open to twins, especially in a domestic adoption will make it pretty difficult to be matched simply because it is less common. I would suggest stating that you would love to adopt twins, but would be open to one child as well.

Adoption agencies look for parents who are responsible, mature, are in a stable happy marriage, are financially stable (although you don't need to be wealthy), and most of all want to be parents and love and nurture their child.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Most adoption agency want your marriage to be of 3 years. I tried to get pregnant for 8 years. I never carried past 6 weeks. How long you do the infertility treatments is a personal thing. I went a lot longer than some of my Friends and yet, I have some that are still trying after 10. You will know when it is time for you to stop. As far as picking an agency, we look at several well known ones in our state and some from other states. We ultimately chose one that is affiliated with our church because the give special treatment to church members. So if you go to church somewhere you  might want to check that out. As far as what agency look for, that want stable people who can support a child. You can ask the agency to send you their requirements and some even list them on line. You can goggle adoption. You will need to decide what kind of adoption that you want, open, closed or semi open. We have semi open where we send pictures to t he birth parents through the case worker with letters on how the child is doing. There is an income tax adoption credit that you can claim on your income taxes for the year you adopt. I know you wanted more specific answers but each agency is a little different

Answer 4

1. I am a foster Mommy and I have TTC for 6 years.  I am still trying to concieve.  We have always wanted to adopt but thought bio kids would come first.  

2.  I chose to do foster care for the state.  (rent to own plan)  With the outrageous cost of adopting, it just wasnt in our budget (upwards $40,000) and we wanted to help kids who are awesome kids that needed a good stable family.  We never put a face to a child we wanted.  It didnt matter what ethnicity or s*x it was. A child is a child is a child.  They are all blessings and gifts from God and foster kids are just as good as any.  

3. I dont think an adoption for twins or older children is any different legally

4. Financially stable, generally happy, honest, people who want to give a great life to a child.  We had a homestudy done and they look for EVERYTHING.  Criminal history is a biggie.  They ask the whole gammot of questions.  From easy ones to how long you have lived there and what your income is to how many times a week you have s*x and if you are happy with your s*x life.  Honesty is key.  If you want to adopt regularly without doing foster care and after you pass a home study,  I believe you make a portfolio of your family (they would tell you what all they want in it) and they present it to various birth mothers and she decides what family she wants to raise her child.

*In response to in home day care*

Foster care would be a great way to go (you can either do just Fostering or Foster to adopt, either way) because you would get plenty of practice with kids and you would be earning money at the same time and who knows, the right kid might come along and your homestudy would already be done and it would cost A LOT less to adopt.  I have heard roughly $4,000 compared to the $40,000.  Totally your choice and either way, I believe it is a good one.  I always wondered how I would do wanting a bio kid so badly and be raising someone elses kid.  Now I know that I can love a child I didnt give birth to just as much as if I did.  I am a truely blessed to have them.  There are so many kids who need homes all over the world.  Whatever you do, you will be giving a heart and a home to a child who you didnt give birth to and that I believe it takes a Very special person to love a child as their own.  I commend you which ever road you take.   You wont be disapointed, I promise.  Good Luck and God Bless you and your new family

Answer 5

Wow. You have it together. That's great! We haven't given up TTC and we're approved for adoption. I also won't take any artificial means to concieve, and we're very open on the ages of children. You might be waiting a long time for twins under three, but you also may stumble across your kids faster than we are.