Adoption 1st child???

Question

ok here it is

i am 15 i am a virigin i plan to stay that way till marige..

i want to go to collage then get a good job... i dont plan to have a boyfriend or marrige i could what happens but i plan to adopt... i figure 23 when iam finished with collage and i want to adopt a new born boy i am afraid to have kids of my own becasue of what happened to my sister and it will happen during my pregnancy

what happened is she got pregnant and during that was diabetic and diffuclty during labor seasection couldnt push out in pain but had pills and shots to help

back to my story i want to have a healthy pregnancy but that will NEVER happen but i do want one of my own

1) do i adopt my first child

2)do i have my first child(painfully and scared)

Answer 1

no one pregnancy is the same me and my 2 sister were all pregnant at the same time the one sister had toximia the other sister had nothing wrong and i had got a bad infection had the baby early and lost him and almost died. but now im pregnant again im 36 weeks and had no problems but normal ones! the point is you can have a normal pregnancy! you just have to try there is nothing like having your own child from your body! you would regret not having your own child, when you got older! but you are too young to worry about that right now just be a teen and take life day by day when you get older you will change your mind and want to have your own child! you still got alot of years to go.

Answer 2

It is basically up to you if you adopt a child you will have the same the same job when you are taking care of a little baby. Adopting a baby is less painful then having a baby. I think you should wait until you finish up college and then think about whether you will like to adopt or have a baby.

Answer 3

i would be in the same situation if i were your age. im younger and plan to have the same life plan. btu where im comming from, i think god ment for us to have such horrendous pain to teach us a lesson. lesson: a child is a living breathing piece of life created by YOU and being brought into this world BY YOU!! i know the pain is scary. but just think of all those mothers before u (including yours) who went through this same process of bringing the small piece of life that is you into this world.... and remember... one day that adopted child is going to HAVE  to find out one way or another. and the outcome of that situation might not be pretty. that adopted child just might want to leave u to find it's real parents.... i know my friends did. it left her heart broken.

if u do decide to adopt best wishes for u.... jus be prepared..

Answer 4

my opinion is give birth to your first child adopt your second do not be afraid to have a child when you do be sure to keep up with your prenatal care you will be fine I say to have your first child to experience the joy of mother hood when you hold your baby in your arms look into his face  you will say I can"t believe I created this you will feel his warm little body on your chest and the smell of your newborn baby you will forget about being scared or the pain all you will remember is what you are holding in your arms women are so special you will feel him grow, kick move have an ultra sound so you can have a photo of him inside you with all that going on you won"t even be thinking of pain  why I say give birth to your first adopt your second is what you will experience with your natural born unfortunately you won't with your adopted child if you adopt first then have a bio child you want to be sure your adopted child will not be effect by your bonding to your bio child only my opinion it is something to think about not that you won"t love your adopted child because you sound like an angel Good luck on your choices and keep up your good work and God Speed

Answer 5

I understand how you feel - both my mother and grandmother had very difficult labors and I was always nervous about what it might be like for me but there is no reason why what happened to your sister would also happen to you.  Things like diabetes can often be prevented and labor and pain management is improving all the time.

Raising a child on your own is a huge decision and is one that must be thought through carefully.  An adopted child will also have particular needs that should be considered.

This is not a decision that needs to be made now.  By the time you have finished college you may feel very differently about how you want to form a family and who with.  Take the time to learn more about pregnancy and adoption so that you are fully informed when the time comes

Answer 6

Hi Emily,

l will try and answer your questions as best l can.  Firstly, anybody may choose to adopt children, as long as they are willing and able to support them, and be a good parent, that is fine.  However, l wouldn't reccoment just going into adoption because you're scared of pregnancy and labour!  lt is your choice, but before you do anything about it (when you're older), l would educate yourself on some of the issues that go along with adoption.  Secondly, as for adoption, nobody can tell you whether or not to have a child biologically.  l'm sure every parent will agree, however you have your child, be it through giving birth or adoption, the hardest and greatest part of parenting is raising them!  l think at the moment you are still very young, and probably scared by what your sister has gone through (understandably), but it's important to remember that not every pregnancy is a hard one, just as every adoption is not always positive!  Why not wait a few years, then when you're older (and possibly even married, who knows?), start thinking then about starting a family in whichever way you choose.  l've added a couple of links here to give you some more information on pregnancy and adoption, if you are interested in doing some reading on it.  l wish you the best of luck with your future, and whatever way you choose to have a child, good luck!

http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy

http://www.adoption.about.com

Answer 7

Smurfette has hit the nail on the head with her answer.  Adoption vs childbirth is a personal choice that you will want to make when you are ready to start your family.  So much in your life is going to change over the next few years.  I admire you for thinking about things now, and exploring adoption, but life will send you all types of changes between now and then.

As a 15 yr old, I dreamed of marrying the perfect man, getting pregnant, and starting a beautiful family.  Well, I did marry the perfect man, and I do have a beautiful family, but for me, getting pregnant just didn't happen.  Adoption was our only option to starting our family - and I don't regret it for a moment, but I just wanted to show you how even the best laid plans don't always happen "just the way we want".  

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Sweetie you're on the right track.  Definitely go to college.  Get your education, THEN worry about children.  I think it's wonderful you're considering adoption when you get older.  There are lots of children out there who deserve a loving mother.  And....no two pregnancies are the same.  So what happened to your sister may not happen to you.

Answer 9

HI Emily,

First of all, you are only 15.  Your desires might change.  You may end up wanting to get married or have a long term relationship in which to raise children.  It's really hard to know all the people and circumstances you will come across that will affect the course of your life.  You don't have to have these plans settled now. :)  

If you know about specific medical risks for a pregnancy, when the time comes, you can carefully talk them over with a doctor and make a decision.  If you do want to have a biological child, you can have good care as a high risk materninty case.

I am an adoptive mother and I wholeheartedly think adoption is a wonderful way to become a parent, and I certainly do not want to discourage you from adopting.  I do want to tell you, though, that, if you are thinking that adoption is kind of the "easy" way to have children, you will find that isn't necessarily true.  It can be a long, roller-coaster process.    

Again, you sound like a thoughtful, responsible young woman.  Enjoy your youth.  You don't have to make these decisions now. :)

Good Luck!