Adoption Delimas?

Question

Me and my husband were begining the adoption process because there the law states that you have to be an "adult" to adopt not 21 but now we live in pa were we hear you must be 21, Do we have any other options!

Answer 1

if the law says 21 then there are probably no options.  Most states say 21 and some agencies and foreign countries have their own rules...like 25 or 30.

Answer 2

How old are you and why do you wish to adopt?

ETA: why the thumbs down? I asked the questions to clarify the situation so I can better respond.

Answer 3

Since you didn't give any specifics I'm going to point out the obvious.

"Do we have any other options!"

My advice? Try doing it once in a while...

Answer 4

Adoption is such a complex issue. Just stick around our little forum. I believe you need the maturity and wisdom that comes with age in order to raise an adopted child.

My husband an I found out that I may be infertile at 19.....Sure it was devestating. But as time went on I came to terms. You must resolve those feelings before bringing an adopted child in your home. This can ONLY happen with time. You may not understand now but you will later. This of course is assuming you are infertile and that is your reason for wanting to adopt at such a young age.

Answer 5

At your age, there is very little chance of adopting.  Basically, you'll have to be wealthy, because state offices aren't going to give someone your age a child most likely.  In many states, there is also a requirement that you be married a certain number of years.  You can still take the courses required to adopt through foster parenting, prepare your home for a home study, and more.  Also, most states require you have lived in your home for a certain period of time prior to adopting also.  

I had a child at 22, and ended up being a single parent.  I missed out on a lot of youth, even though I have a beautiful, wonderful son.  Now, I'm 42, and have adopted another son, now 9 months old, and am such a better mother now that I'm older, more informed, smarter, more settled, and better off financially.  Take your time, and enjoy being young for a while.  You have plenty of time.  The adoption process to me was kind of like pregnancy.  It took a lot of time, seemed like it was never going to end and have a child, and I was more nervous adopting than giving birth.  The labor pains are when you get a child in your home, and the waiting period before the adoption is final is scary.  It's like you don't want to go anywhere or do anything that could disrupt the adoption, because you are afraid until the moment it is final.  Good luck on adoption, but have some patience.  It is a time consuming process, that can take years.  You might be able to do private adoption if you know of someone who is pregnant easier than other types of adoption.

Answer 6

IMHO you are too young to have kids.

Knowing what I know near 40, I'd set the recomended minimum age closer to 28..

MOST 20yos aren't mature enough, and in a stable enough relationship to have kids. It's a time to go to school, build carers, see the world, and grow into productive adults.

I am guessing most 20yos will disagree with me.. but I'm also guessing Most 30+ yos will agree.. 20 is just too young. Live life, have fun, settle down w/ kids later.

-HtJ