Adoption? Did you reunite with your birth mom?

Question

I was a adopted when i was a baby, now im almost 21 and today i was randomly messing around on the internet and i decided to google my birth mothers name (because that really all the information they give you)

and i think i found her on adoption.com and i emailed her my email address and told her the coincidences between her case and mine

I don't know what my next move should be.

anybody else been put in this situation?

Did you reunite with your birth mom?

what was it like?

Answer 1

Oh  wow! I sure hope it is her. I found my mom online too. By hitting a random registry and putting in my bday. My reunion has been amazing and I hope yours will be wonderful for you as well.

Wait for a response, if it is her and she is open to a reunion take it slowly at first and be yourself. Expect your emotions to run high and talk to people about it. Don't bottle it up.

Answer 2

Oh, I hope it's your natural mom, too.  I've been reunited 6 years.  My natural family and I both looked for each other, although they looked a lot longer.  It's harder for them to find us than the other way around.

Anyway, I remember that ALL of us were really nervous, because no one knew what to expect.  Wait to see what you hear back in response to your email and go from there.  I have a very good relationship with my natural family.  Mine is actually mainly with my natural dad and that side of the family, as my natural mom was already passed.  I do have a good relationship with her step-father, however.

Good luck to you!  This is very exciting.

Answer 3

Oh - I hope it's her.

I've found my first mum - and my dad - they married 6 months after my birth.

Search and reunion is a complete roller-coaster - but it's the best thing that I've ever done - finally finding out answers to questions that I've had for 38 years!

Grab all the support you can get - it's an emotional ride.

Take things nice and slow too - let's each of you process what's going on.

Come on over to this adoptee forum if you feel the need -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

You'll find oodles of adoptees more than willing to answer questions and give you all the support they can.

I have my fingers crossed for you.

Answer 4

well i was never adopted, i stayed with my birth mom. what would actually be a good idea is hire a private investigator/private eye to get some info on this person. it may sound silly like Sherlock Holmes but it might actually work. but be cautious if u have never met this person before, u know how the world can be (creepos roaming around the internet like they own it) Good luck, hope you do meet her though

Answer 5

HI.... I am also an adoptee... I have found my birthmother, but I never did reunite with her, im sorry to say...I also found a 3 birth brothers and a sister.  My sister is the one who reuinited with her and iddn't like what she saw, (long story) but she was living in very bad conditions and had a alcholoic problem also, but not every biological mother is like that also.  I wish you the very best.  If you sent her your email address, give her time...give her space..and I hope everything turns out wonderful!!!!  Best of luck!!!

Answer 6

Yes I did and I would never change a thing, for all the ups and downs.

My n-parents got married 6 months after I was born, like Possum.  My adoption caused a lot of grief and hardship for my mother which she hasn't been able to get over to this day.  One year after we reunited (in 1996), she shut down on me and ended our reunion, and hasn't been able to face me.  But just this last Friday I got my Christmas miracle and she FINALLY has responded, and wants to try to work through things and start buidling a relationship again.  It has been a long, hard road, but one I would gladly travel a thousand times over for her.  I love her that much.

I also have a full brother, a half sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, and one terrific grandmother who has been the closest to me in all of this.  My father I only met once; he was not really receptive in the beginning, but after 8 years he had a change of heart and we met, which I am forever thankful for because he died the following winter from cancer.

I don't care about the bad parts; it's the GOOD that I would walk through hot coals to get to.  Because they are my family, and just being together and seeing myself in them, and knowing that these are MY PEOPLE, is all worth it.  They have missed me and I have missed them my entire life.  We belong together.

Answer 7

I did reunite just this summer.  For me, it was an important (and ongoing) event.  She was very receptive to our meeting and very accepting of me.  The whole experience has been very life-affirming.

I will say that, despite the positive experience, it has still been a roller-coaster ride.  A lot of emotions and pain that I had suppressed for years have risen up.  So I've been struggling with a lot of turmoil.  Still, I have no regrets about my reunion.  Indeed, I think dealing with this turmoil has been healthy for me.

As for your next move, I would wait and see what her response is.  I hope it's her.  

Good luck to you!

Answer 8

Yes, I have reunited with my birth mother.  I have ALWAYS wanted to know.  It was finally a chance to get some questions answered that I have had all my life.  Nothing anyone has ever said could prepare me enough for that first phone call!  Being a grown woman and hearing my birth mother's voice for the first time.  It was like listening to a recording of myself!  I was scared and excited all at the same time.  (I am trying my best to give you the short version).  Then when I recieved her picture in the mail........  WOW!  It just blew me away.  The similarities were unbelieveable.  

Once we got past all of that, we got down to the more serious questions.  Why was I put up for adoption?  Who is my birth father?  I just thought it was "the typical" story that you would hear on a talk show...  She was young, only 15 and I was NOT a choice if you know what I mean.  Some one took her innocence.  It was taken from her by a person who was very close to her.  That man ruined a lot of lives.  Those answers were not something that I was totally prepared to hear.  So if I could give you any advice at all, it would be to be ready and prepared for anything.  I am however glad non the less, to know the truth.  We all (my birth mother and a-parents) have a wonderful relationship.  I pray that it stays that way.  It is a very interesting journey that is forever changing.  

Thankfully my a-parents supported me fully with my search and that was very, very helpful.

Answer 9

I'm a birthmom and I reunited with my birthdaughter, since you were both looking, I think you should have a good reunion if it is indeed her. Don't expect too much but be open. Just wait for her to email you back. I sent my daughter a letter with my phone, email etc. She phoned me and when she called and I heard her voice I said OMG you sound just like me. It has been a good reunion.

Answer 10

No.  My bmom refused contact.  I have made no further attempts to contact her.  My bdad did agree to contact.  However I think his only motivation was to keep me away from other family members; he even asked me to sign a document renouncing my right to search for other family.  Of course I refused because I was well-informed about my rights

I am so OK with my adoption, it was a great surprise and sadness for me to discover that my bparents are so, completely unresolved about it.  Although I understand and try to empathize with their situation, they will each have to find the strength to forgive themselves.  No one else can do that for them.

I do have contact with many other bfamily members who welcomed me to the family with open arms and open hearts. They have been the unexpected and much appreciated boon in my search.  They have been able to provide the information about which I was so curious.

I've read that it doesn't matter what you find during a search...only that you find.  I would definitely agree with this.  I do not regret searching.  I would definitely do it again.

I did not tell any of my afamily about the search.  I'm not really sure why.  Somehow this seems like MY search and did not necessarily concern them.  If they ever ask, I will definitely tell the truth.

Answer 11

I have been in reunion with my mom since sept this year.  I talked to my father the first time last week.  When people talk about the 'roller coaster'.  BELIEVE THAT.  The emotional upheaval it caused in my life was ridiculous!   I never gave much thought to being adopted or searching for my parents, so I had no idea of the havoc I was about to cause myself when my husband convinced me to search.  It was a rocky road to say the least.  Things are good now but  it took several weeks to find a balance.  We have a relationship, we talk once or twice a week.  My father, on the other hand, could have  care less.  or so it seems to me.  maybe he was in shock when he got a call out of the blue.  I can not stress enough to prepare yourself for happiness and heartache all at the same time