Adoption? Has this situation happened to anyone else? Read on please.?

Question

I recieved a phone call today from a woman that I know by acquantance. She is pregnant with her third child and is not able to handle having 3. She asked if we wanted to adopt her baby. Has anyone heard of this happening to them? What info or advice does anyone have. I'm open for HONEST and SINCERE answers or suggestions. I am blown away by this but understand the risk involved. thank you in advance.

Answer 1

Something like this happened to a friend of mine. (The child was four at the time.) She contacted DHS. They helped her free of charge. They are a very happy family and the child could not be more loved.

Answer 2

That is almost exactly what happened with me. It was a dream come true. I wasn't looking, but God feltthat he needed me and we needed him. If it is truel ment to be then doors will open.

A few suggetsions.

Get an attorney. Ask your clerk of courts for a reference to an agency they reccomend.Do as much of the required things BEFORE the baby is born, my son couldn't go home with us without a background check. Get the necessary paperwork for Medicaid (if in US) because most insurances work cover the baby 'til after the guardianship it transfered.

Get a binder together and have EVERYTHING you've done in it. This will move things along faster.

Feel free to messege me with any questions

Answer 3

That's how I was adopted as a child at the age of 4. if your interested get an attorney and do it right

Answer 4

Encourage her to parent the child that she carries - giving and finding her support - as keeping them together is what is best for mother and child.

Answer 5

To further the adoption counselors answer...check with your local department of child and family services (DCF) before you call anyone else to see what your state requires. In some states a lawyer will not be able to finalize the adoption and has to be processed through an adoption agency. you may have to submit to a homestudy which may take a couple of months. Background checks, financial checks etc. lots of paperwork. i am not trying to dissuade you but you need to have your head about you as this is a very emotional process.

Good luck and I wish you the best if you move forward with the plans!

S~ (mom to pj adopted at birth)

Answer 6

My birth mother had 2 children and could not afford a 3rd she was a single mom she contacted my parents. I am not sure how they went about the adoption and things have changed over 31 years ago I am sure but you will need a lawyer. It can work. I never knew I was adopted until I was grown and had kids of my own. Good luck.

Answer 7

This happened to a good friend of mine and she bonded with the baby...The birth mother changed her mind before the final papers were signed and she lost custody of the precious bundle of joy. She thought it would work out because they were good friends so not only did she lose the baby she had been caring for for almost 2 months but she also lost her friendship because the birth mother felt threatened..Just go into this knowing she can always change her mind.......look into how long the birth mother has to change her mind and if you need to call an attorney for advice....

Answer 8

It happened to a friend of mine.  Go for it!  Get an attorney to make sure everything is done properly & won't come back to haunt you in the end.

Answer 9

I would say, the chances of this working are slim but possible.  Refer her to an agency for counseling, for her sake and yours.  You might consider going through the agency as an "Identified Adoption", to lessen your risk and hers.  This way she can get financial support if she needs it.  You can give her nothing, and it will jeopardize the adoption if you do.  (She can come back at anytime and say you bribed her.)  If she asks for money for anything, step aside and refer her to a licensed agency.

You will need to contact an agency to get a homestudy done, and then if you are approved, hire an attorney.  Or, you can go through an agency and let them do everything.

Remember, there is probably a long way to go in this situation.  Go slow and don't count on anything.  Lots can change.

Answer 10

That has never happened to me but I have often wished for it to. I'd be worried and nervous but even more excited. If you want to adopt contact an experienced adoption attorney. They'll help you with this situation. Consider yourself lucky - i'm still waiting for my phone call like that.

Answer 11

Yes, I've heard of this happening a lot. This happened to my MIL and FIL.  If you need to adopt, then go ahead. Take the baby, increase your family. Let the friend know that she cannot step in and parent your child, though. Make rules and make sure she follows them. Write down your concerns and show them to her. Sounds like she doesn't want her child bad enough that she will be willing to follow your rules.

Answer 12

No this has not happened to me (wish it would though).

What I might do is call my attorney and ask them their advice.  It may be that they will tell you to have her call your atty. direct.  When something like this happens you need confirmation that she is pregnant also, like a doctor report...ultrasound coudln't hurt.  Just dont get hopes too high yet and DO NOT give any $$$$ yet either.  If she has asked for $ on the first call I might be a little skeptical about her intentions.

Answer 13

Get an adoption attorney to help you arrange a private adoption.

Answer 14

i know that if you want the baby you will hae to get lawyer and have proper papers drawn up and stuff. you can do it legally and it will be fine. its really a risk butheck its worth it if you want someone to nurture and grow upgood.

Answer 15

I would get a lawyer that specializes in adoption. You dont want to get attached and the child be taken away because something was not done correctly

Answer 16

This is common. First thing is to find a lawyer that specializes in adoptions and get every agreement documented. Stay inside the law or she can come back later and get the kid. Been there -done that!

Answer 17

Try it, but don't get your hopes too high.  You should hope for the best and prepare for the worst.  

Truly private adoptions are more likely to be open to challenge later on because there is a larger chance of missing a step in the process.

Get an adoption attorney.

Answer 18

I agree with a couple of the responses below mine. Give and find her support. How long has she known of the pregnancy? She may just still be in shock. Is there a father in the picture? He may be able to help. Plus, if he is not, she will not be able to give baby up for adoption without his consent. She probably just needs time. Be there for her, but be careful, don't attach yourself to that baby. WOW, I can understand how blown away you must be. It seems like she may not be rational. I don't mean to sound bad, but would you call up an acquaintance and ask them to adopt your baby? I think she just may need time, and a good friend. I would honestly, not take it too seriously! Defiantly call an attorney, BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING, if you would like to consider adopting the baby. Good Luck to you and the pregnant women.

Answer 19

this has not happened to me and I would reply with encouragement to parent. That would be the best possible istuation for the chlid. Tell her to give it a shot , try it out for a while and see if it works and if her fears disappear. If that DOESN'T work, then be there for her, and help her.