Adoption Home Study - what's it like?

Question

My husband is adopting my 2 year old son. We had a big celebration yesterday because his absent (and dangerous) father signed his rights away yesterday. We will have a home study done within the next week and a half and she wants to talk to my older son who is 6 but I'm not sure what else is going to happen.

Any advice, anybody know what happens? What questions will she ask my 6 year old? I'm just nervous. My husband is a wonderful father and spouse and we're both teachers and have a good home. I just want to know what's going to happen! Just sounds awkward and my 6 year old loves to exxaggerate and he's very smart and can manipulate many situations. Good kid, he just likes to play games and see how people react. Ha ha.. that sounds bad.

Thanks for any advice!

Answer 1

It really not that bad.  They will (might) ask you general questions about fire safety plans / child proof locks / work / general every day life...etc.

Answer 2

hey- i'm glad dangerous dad signed away his rights.

please, please, get extra copies of your sons original birth certificate.  once the adoption is finalized, you and he will loose all rights to have one.

Answer 3

When I last adopted my older son was six during the home study. From what you say about your son, he sounds a bit like mine.  I explained to him that the social worker was going to come over and check out our house, and to speak to him.  I told him that she would want to know how he felt about the adoption, and how he felt about us as parents.

So when the social worker arrived, he came running into the living room and ask what was for dinner. When I answered him, he yelled, "Thank goodness!  We haven't had nothing to eat but maggoty bread for three stinking weeks!!"  He heard it from a classmate who is a big Lord of the Rings fan, and he had been saving it for just the right occasion.  

An experienced social worker doesn't get thrown by that kind of thing. I don't think you need to worry, especially since the children are already yours.  We had talked with our son about some issues that you obviously won't have- like what if he didn't like his new brother/sister, how to communicate if he was feeling jealous or left out.  The only question our sw asked our son was "Are you willing to share your toys?"

Answer 4

i think it is a hassle

Answer 5

The social worker can not divulge the question and answer session she will have with your son. My daughter came down when the social worker was here and told us what she asked LOL.

From what DD said it was specific questions....I think she was trying to determine if we had in any way abused her.

We had nothing to hide so we had no problem with the line of questioning. I liked our social worker and she seemed to like us too. She spent almost an hour with dd by herself.. DD introduced her to all her baby dolls and stuffed animals. They had a tea party and dd read to her.

She also spent time with us togeter as a family and then my husband and I seperately. She asked us two basically the same question. Probably looking for continuity. She asked about our childhoods....what our relationship was with our parents....how does our extended family feel about adoption....how do we feel about adoption......what have we told dd about adoption.....what was our reasoning on deciding to adopt.....have we ever relinquished children in the past......how long have we been married......how we meet....what is our marriage like....how do we handle disagreements in our marriage......she knew we attended church regularly so she asked about that and asked if dd was receiving any religious education........basically they just want to get to know as much as possible about your family.

We cyberschool so she asked all about that....looked at our curriculum.....looked over dd's work samples and journals...after the visit she contacted dd's teacher and called the cyberschool to obtain updated records on dd's progress and attendance. DD even read to her in Latin....she was pretty impressed so the cyberschooling was not be an issue..LOL

As we talked outside she watched dd play with the neighbor kids......she was quite convinced socialization was a non issue.

Oh and they look for safety hazards...smoke and carbon monoxide detectors....fire extinguishers.

Answer 6

The home study social worker is going to look to see that your home is a safe and secure place for your children.  They aren't going to put your children in a dark room, shine a light in their eyes and interrogate them!  It'll be a friendly environment, more like having a conversation than an interview.  Social workers are prepared to deal with children in these situations and some silliness or nervousness on the part of the child is expected and anticipated.  

I'd talk to your six year old about why this lady/gentleman is coming in a child-friendly manner.  Personally, I wouldn't try to make a huge deal about it, "This is SO IMPORTANT!!" because it could place some fears in your son's mind.  

Good luck!