Adoption: Im fostering my nephew and his 2 brothers are going to be adopted, whats the best way to tell him?

Question

The one im fostering is 4, the other two are nearly 3 and 11 months.

Answer 1

Rather odd that they wouldn't adopt this boy as well. 4 years old is not really that old at all. Its real unfortunate because i'm sure there are people out there that would be willing to take all 3 kids.

As far as telling him i guess in the simplest way that you can. Hopefully whoever adopts his brothers will be ok with remaining in contact with you or whoever ends adopting him.

Answer 2

Hi it sounds like a realy difficult situation.  If I were in your situation I would keep it truthful and simple.  And answer any questions that he may have.  I am really sorry I cant offer anymore advice.

Answer 3

More information would be helpful.  Such as, why is your nephew not also being adopted by the same people?  Why would they be split up?  Will he be able to maintain contact with his siblings?

EDIT.....

Thank you for the details.  That's very sad.  I pray the adopters will respect the children they adopt and honor their relationship with their older brother.  Maybe they would agree to have them visit more often - I hope so.

Your 4-year-old should know about his siblings.  Tell him in an age-appropriate way.  He can neither understand adult thinking in these circumstances nor should he have to try.  Just tell him that he has 2 younger brothers who are going to live with a new family, and you can hope together that their new parents will let them visit together some day.

You need to grieve with him, too, that he cannot grow up with his siblings.  If the adopters won't allow visits, at least try to keep tabs on their whereabouts so you can give that information to your nephew when he is old enough to contact his brothers on his own.

Best of luck to all of you.

Answer 4

Never leave it late, my mum was adopted and she was told from an early age and it never really mattered to her. Put yourself in their shoes.

Answer 5

I think siblings should stay together, I don't think they should be split up I find that very sad. Why don't you keep all of them? Anyways I guess sit him down and explain that someone else is going to take care of them, he will probably need counseling.

Answer 6

What is the circumstance that the children are being separated...different fathers????  Depending on his age it's really not that difficult.  If he isn't going to be adopted by you then I would be careful on how you word this as he may have feelings of not being wanted...vs...another possiblility

Answer 7

they're all really young, to young in my opinion to really understand what is happening. My advice to you is just keep it simple. Just tell him that his little brothers are going to a different family and he's going to stay with you. for a four year old there isn't really much else to say. good luck.

Answer 8

I'm not sure what you mean, but I'll give this a shot.

Are you fostering three boys and two are being adopted by another family, but they are leaving him behind? Separated from his brothers? (Or, are you fostering your nephew and his brothers are in another home?)  If you currently have a therapist who sees your nephew, talk with him/her about it. You really need someone who knows your nephew well enough to offer good advice on dealing with this.  It would be a good idea to let your nephew's guidance counselor know what is going on. If your nephew acts out because of anger (I would), then he'll need someone at the school to go to bat for him and let the teachers know he's going through a rough patch.  All I can say is, do your best to tell him in a way that will NOT make him feel rejected.  It's hard to do with a foster kid, so if you can get professional help, please do.

Answer 9

I really don't know, it depends on the situation and their ages. But, you sound awfully sweet.