Adoption: Name question...?

Question

Hi all. We are adopting a boy in a few days...he is 1 year old. We have no intention of changing his first name, but thought it might be nice to change his middle name to my husband's middle name. We don't want this to be a big 'issue' in his life and we won't call him by any name other than the one given by his birth mom, but I wonder if any of you have any experience with this...or if you are an adoptee, would this be hurtful to you. And yes, we will tell him he was adopted and that his middle name was ___. Do you think it is a bad idea? good idea? Thoughts. Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

Our dd's adoption will be finalized next week. We named her at birth but have decided to add her original surname as a second middle name.

In my opinion it is perfectly fine to add names.....but do not take them away. But you already understand that so I think giving a second middle name would be nice.

Answer 2

I just wanted to say, "Congratulations!!! Congrats on the birth & adoption of your son!" :)

Changing his middle name is just fine!

Answer 3

a name is just a name, middle names aren't heard or used much, so I think it is fine

Answer 4

can you add your hubby's name to his already name?

Answer 5

You could always add a middle name instead of changing one.  I'm glad you aren't going to change his first name.  Having two middle names is okay too!

Answer 6

I like Jennifer's idea.  You can always add a name.  I thing that removing a name, which is of course what happens when changing it, isn't really fair to the child.  Lots of people have more than just one middle name now.

Answer 7

Why not give him his current surname as his new middle name?

Answer 8

my aunty adopted two children and she changed their middle names to family middle names so they would fit in more and feel more at home they were real brother and sister and the youngest was 6 months old and the oldest 3, now they are 10 and 13 and we would neva be without them its as if we have always had them and we tresa them no differently to the rest!

Congratulaions and all the best!

Answer 9

i think changing your future son's middle name to his soon-to-be daddy's is a nice way to graft him into the family and make him really feel connected as he grows older- i'd do it!

Answer 10

I think it is fine to change the middle name.  Especially in a one year old.  As long as his original name is not "hidden".

Answer 11

I think it should be fine. Thats good your keeping his first name. He could always have to middle names.

Answer 12

I think this is a wonderful, touching and respectful way to handle an adoption name change.

Think of it from his perspective: as he grows up he will know that he was adopted, and that his mother loved him enough to give him live and a lovely name that meant something to her. And he will know from you and your husband that you loved him enough to want to give him something of yourself, by giving him your husband's name as a middle name.

Because you aren't changing his first name, the name is has come to learn and recognize clearly since birth, I do not think the change of his middle name with bother him as he grows up. Instead, having a middle name that you have given him, that was originally yours, will make him feel closer to you. That is especially important when kids reach that inquisitive / finding myself stage and needs the support of his family.

Congratulations!

Answer 13

SINCE U WILL TELL HIM THAT HE WAS ADOPTED I THINK U SHOULD LEAVE EVERY THING AS IT IS