Adoption Questions In The United States?

Question

Okay, I have a few quesitons about adoptions...

1. Why are there so many foster kids if there are so many people who want to adopt? Why does the process take forever?

2. Why do people adopt from overseas instead of adopting from their own country?

Answer 1

Good question, I have my own theory on this but would only get bashed for it, so I look forward to hearing peoples reasons and rationalization (excuses) for this

Answer 2

1.  Why are there so many children in foster care?  Because there are a lot of lousy parents out there who are dangerous to their children.  Just because you want to adopt does not mean you are in a position to adopt a child with issues.  

Why does it take so long?  Because it's a process that, at least in theory, ensures the children are going to be going to good, safe, loving homes.  If people had to go through what aparents go through, we may have less kids in foster care.

2.   I can only answer for myself.  I adopted my son from Guatemala because that's where he was.  He wasn't in the US.  I want to adopt again but feel if I do, my child would be here, not abroad and would adopt domestically.

Answer 3

My excuse for adopting overseas was very simple I wanted to parent a child that was without parents.  I was aware of what was happening to the children in China and wanted to help.

I'm not a saviour, I'm just a woman wanting to be a parent to a child that needs one, but thank you for asking me to defend my decision yet again.

Answer 4

I am only just now beginning to realize how uninformed I am about adoption!  So, my uninformed opinion might be similar to many peoples' who have nothing to do with the issue...and my own thoughts really scare me!

1.  Speaking in wide, sweeping generalities:  People want to adopt babies because it is the closest they can come to a child without a history of personal experience and exposure to other parents.  Kids get removed from bad homes because bad things happen there...and many people are not prepared nor willing to deal with that.  The process takes forever because we do not have enough people working in this sector.  Why don't we have enough people working in this sector?  Same reason teacher's pay is low, same reason stay-home moms are perceived as "not working"...because, as a society, we do not value our children.

2. I too wonder about foreign adoptions.  I really know very little about them.  However, I am frequently exposed to parents who have adopted from very far away foreign countries...and they just sit around and brag about the wonderful thing they did by saving the child from horrible circumstances.  "My kids were adopted from __."  is the opening line in every conversation they have!  I am truly beginning to believe that they want/need the praise and glory that I see them shower upon themselves.

Answer 5

It is my opinion that people adopt from overseas for as many varied reasons as they adopt from the US.  They may be in a search for the neediest child.  Who knows?  I am a firm believer that children at home should be given preference when considering adoption.  There are so many foster children for several reasons - fewer people want to adopt older children or minority children, there are children in the foster system that are not available to be adopted as they are going through the reunification process with birth parents, there are children in the foster system who are there temporarily while extended family are searched for, there are children in the foster system on very short term emergency situations, etc.

The process takes forever because the system is broken.  It is so terribly underfunded and understaffed they do the best they can with what they have.

Answer 6

See what UNICEF, the children's charity thinks about international/inter-country adoption:

http://www.unicef.org/media/media_41918....

Answer 7

Well, you've found a person who can answer all those questions from personal experience.

There are a lot of foster kids because in our legal system, if a parent doesn't severe their rights to a child, then they get stuck in that system.  

And that kind of answers the second question.  It's easier to adopt from overseas than to adopt in the US.  You don't have to constantly worry that someone is going to abduct your child because they gave up their rights.  For some, the fear of birthparents suddenly appearing in the child's life isn't a pleasant thought.  

Basically people who adopt want the same thing every other parent wants -- a happy, healthy child they can call their own.

Answer 8

2) People adopt from overseas because it is alot easier, if you try to adopt through here then you have to fill out an application and you could get denied and it takes a really long time.

Answer 9

there are pros and cons to both, and it is not always "quicker" to adopt overseas, you just do not have to wait for a birth mother to choose you in most cases. Instead, an agency matches you or an orphanage with a child that is waiting. International adoptions also require that you travel to the child's homeland in most cases. I believe Korea however, does not.  The cons "in my opinion" are that the child is always older, 3 mos or more at the time of placement. also, you may not have any information on the birth mother or her history while pregnant, etc.,

With domestic. you must wait for a birth mother to choose you, normally from a scrap book that you make and a Dear BM letter. While it can take a year or sometime even longer, our sitiuation took a year and a month, and we were blessed with a 3 1/2 week old little girl. Advantage here "in some cases", you obtain "some" information about the birthmother, her history, etc., especially if you go through a reputable agency that has been able to counsel her.

Yes, it is true that most adoptive parents desire an infant, and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.  Everyone is entitled to their wishes here.

The bottom line is this.............International, or Domestic, infant, or older child, the desire is the same............TO PARENT.