He's not exactly "adopted" but when he was about 5 years old, his mom put him and his half siblings in an orphanage because she could no longer care for them.
The agency contacted his father (his parents were long separated, and his father was living with another woman at this point) to see if he wanted to come pick up his son.
His mom eventually came back for the kids but by this time, my bf's father had come to claim him. This was about 25 years ago and it was the last time that he heard or saw from his mom or siblings. His mom wrote some letters but his dad hid them.
My bf has expressed interest in finding his mom and siblings. I don't think it's fear that's holding him back - it's that he has a hard time following through with plans (he recently started treatment for ADD).
I found an address online that I believe belongs to his half brother and I'd like to write him a letter. I was wondering if it would be inappropriate to try and find his family on my own as a surprise? I hate for him to be disappointed if he finds them and they don't want anything to do with him or that he gives up after a few leads fall through.
Any thoughts?
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