Adoption VS Surrogate?

Question

I am seriously considering being a surrogate mom for those who cant carry themselves, and I am 99% sure that this is something that I would love to do for a loving couple but I have a question that maybe I am just missing the boat on. How come Couples seem to adopt so much more or try Invetrofertilization rather than opting for a surrogate?

Answer 1

Personally, I would want a surrogate.  But only if it was my egg implanted.  (do people do that?)  I would not want to adopt, because I'd want a baby that was genetically mine and my husbands, but I never want to experience a pregnancy.

Answer 2

people adopt becaure there are kids that are already here that need a loving home and someone to call mommy and daddy. To some people the fact that they arnt related dosent mean anything. I Was going to be a surrogate to, but them I got pregnant with my daughter. I think there is to many kids out there that need to be adopted, I want to adopt some day.

Answer 3

I can think of a few reasons of why a couple would rather adopt or IVF over surrogacy

Many women want to go through the pregnancy themselves.  

In a typical surrogacy, the surrogate mother also donates her egg. So a couple may feel if they both can not be genetically connected to the child then they rather just adopt.

A woman does  not want to see another woman carry and created a baby with her husband.  In the case where the couples sperm and egg are used or a anonymous donated egg. It could still be about not wanting another woman to carry the husband’s baby. Seeing another woman pregnant with your husband’s child; even if the baby is biological the couples can not be easy to see someone else carry your baby.

They may feel why bring in more children when there are tons that are already here and need loving homes.

Surrogate in some cases even more when she is the biological mother, can change her mind. It happened to a poor couple just a few months ago. The surrogate decided to keep the baby and has gotten full custody. In that state it works like an adoption the surrogate can change her mind. Sometimes that can even happen when the baby is not biological the surrogates.  I even read a story of a lady who did a surrogacy and guess what her husband feel in love with the surrogate and left her.  She had the baby for several months but it was too hard to be around the child and so she gave the baby to the husband and his new wife.

Answer 4

Surrogate mothers still have the right to keep her child.  Some surrogate mothers have accidently given away her own child.  I think you need to really think long and hard about this.  You will attach to this child just he/she is one of you own.

Answer 5

People adopt kids more then going surrogate, because it's a bit more guaranteed that the parent won't come back for the child. With a surrogate mom you have to look for someone you can trust, and then someone who will be able to give up the baby. You have to know that by you carrying the baby for someone else you will feel all there is to feel when the baby moves and kicks. This is a wonderful experience. An experience that may change someones mind. Adopting means that the mother went through all of the sensation and has already given the baby up. Kudos for you for thinking of the possibility of being a surrogate mom. I was to my brother in law(my husband's brother). I carried twin boys and it was a beautiful experience but as well as they knew me  they still had their doubts I would give them up. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

we adopt because we want a family and to give those without a family, a family. it has nothing to do with our dna, or being pregnant. there are so many children already here that need a loving family, a regular child-hood. we would never be so selfish as to pay someone to give birth to our child when there are millions without a mommy & daddy.

Answer 7

Because most woman don't care if they give birth to a shoe, they wanna keep it.

Answer 8

We tried an advanced form of IVF called ICSI three times before we became adoptive parents.  For us, we were terrified of adoption because of the horror stories we had heard.  I also was somewhat afraid that I wouldn't be able to love a child that I did not birth.  Adoption was the farthest thing from our minds when we were approached by someone about meeting our son's bio-family.  However, once meeting them and our son, we knew that there was a "reason" that all of this fell into place for us.  And I was amazed at how my heart just melted around this baby - there was no doubt in my mind about the love I felt for this child.  

There are times though that I feel less of a woman because of the labels that society has put on me as an infertile woman.  I wish that I could give my husband a bio child and am saddened that I can't.  I've thought of trying to use a surrogate for another child, but I would be too afraid that the birth mother would change her mind, etc.  A good friend of mine is exploring the surrogacy option and it sounds far more frightening than the adoption process was for us.

Answer 9

I myself have been looking for a surrogate.  I was born without a uterus but have viable eggs.  My fiance and i want a child desprately. But to answer ur question, when u opt for a surrogate most of the time you have to pay them compensation for being off of work plus pay for their insurance, some even request that groceries and clothing be provided as well as the regular amount surrogate charge.  So it can be quite a bit more expensive.  Plus u never know if the surrogate is going to get attached to the baby and try to keep it.  It takes a very special person to be a surrogate.  Someone that is selfless (willing to give up 9 months of their life, and their body for nothing in return).  And that is very hard to find.

Answer 10

Many want to adopt because they are aware of the fact that there are kid in need out there already. Yet, there are couples that would love to see a child that carries their own blood. That is made up of their genes. Either way, it's a very emotion-driven choice.

Answer 11

say sorry for the lost generation no more black stealing please

Answer 12

Have you given any thought at all to how the only person without a voice will feel about the situation - the intentionally created adoptee!

Nobody seems to consider the child AT ALL!  Children of surrogacy, egg donation and sperm donation are coming of age and finding their voices and they're questioning why nobody considered THEM when decisions about THEIR lives were made for them.  Even more heartbreaking when things are done annonymously.  

I sincerely hope you consider the child, the unnecessary trauma and loss you would inflict on the child and the very real possibility that the child will grow up and seek you out.

Answer 13

If the surrogate eggs is hers, she keeps the child, even if the baby father is the father of the couple

To let someone to Carrie you egg, you need to trust that person.  That's normally a family member or friend

A lot of g*y couples go to surrogate, because it's easier in some states, that do not let g*y adopt

Surrogate is a great thing to do

I know from my brother, losing a child is heard.  When you go to the hospital to pick up your child, and the birth mother change their mind, it's awful.  That happen to my brother once.  He and his wife also have misscarriges.   The thought of someone keeping his child, and changing the mind was to much for him

A lot of people go to the path of less pain

Answer 14

If you become a surrogate do NOT use your own egg. Nor any donated egg/sperm other than from the intended parents.