Adoption - Why so long?

Question

Hi

My wife and I are considering adoption, (its a decision we have though long and hard about, so please no doubters!)

anyway, we were wondering why does the process take so long?

My wife is a teacher, we are both professionals and financially secure yet we have been told the process could take upwards of two years.

Does anybody with any experience of adoption know why it takes this length of time? It seems absurd to me.

I am aware that checks need to be made etc, and that there is a period of finding the right child / meetings with that child but two years + ???

Answer 1

I once heard that a drug addict with no partner has a better chance of adopting a child than a couple who are not married - because the couple could split up and it would be traumatising for the child.

I don't know how true that is, but I do think that the adoption system sounds unfair. More than two years, in my opinion, is a long time to wait. Maybe if less people were having abortions then there would be more babies in need of loving homes - and there are plenty of people willing to provide that.

I know people will probably disagree with my opinion, but I'm not totally against abortion - I just think that sometimes, people have abortions because it is convenient.

You're not selfish for wanting a child. Selfish is those people mentioned just above this, who won't use contraceptives, or at least won't use them as instructed, and then destroy a life because of their mistake.

If you do decide on adoption, I hope the wait is as short as possible! Good luck!

Answer 2

Not all adoptions take that long.  Ours was pushed through in under four months, because we were already matched with a mom, though it took a little over a year to finalize.  But some couples wait 5+years for a mom to decide they are the right ones for her child.

In older child adoptions, the process can take longer, because they want to make sure that all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed (or is that the t's are dotted, and the i's are crossed)  and that the child fits into your home before finalization.

Answer 3

A child has to lose his/her mother - for you to be able to adopt.

And you want that 'process' to hurry up?

Your words, sadly, reflect that you have no real idea about the magnitude of pain that a child has to go through - so that you can have your happiness.

Please show a little more compassion for what really happens when children are given away for adoption.

I'm sorry you find the wait absurd.

I find your attitude a little frightening - and sadly - all too common.

Answer 4

Its a long drawn out process and i fell for you both try an agency good luck anyhow

Answer 5

I think the wait is all part of Gods plan.

Answer 6

If only we were all celebrities....then we could just buy our way thru the proccess....

Answer 7

Why so impatient for some tragedy to befall a mother and child so they have to be separated in the first place

You may one day have the 'privelige' of raising somebody elses child but you are not 'entitled' to a child just because you are 'professionals and financially secure'.  I'm sorry but your sense of entitlement is so obvious I'm surprised you got through any homestudy

Be patient and wait your turn

Answer 8

This isn't actually an answer to your question, but a esponse to some of the other replies.

I'm an adopted child and am FED UP with people who know nothing about it telling me I must have been really hurt by the process, and must be desperate to find out who I really am. WHAT A LOAD OF c**p!!

I KNOW who I am, thanks to the parents who adopted me - I am their much wanted child, who was given all the love and support they could possibly offer. I have no idea why I was given up for adoption, nor do I feel any need to find out. Maybe in 2007 people with no knowledge whatsoever of what it feels like to know you were really wanted will finally stop telling me how upsetting that must be!!

Answer 9

Are you adopting internationally or in the US?  It doesn't matter, you're going to need to get child abuse clearances and state police clearances.  You're also going to have to do what they call a homestudy.  It's pretty much a snapshot of your life - where you live, your education, your family, friends, your financial condition, medical condition, etc.  Our homestudy was probably 30+ pages and took about 6 weeks to complete.

If you're adoptiong internationally you have the wait of having to deal with a foreign goverment.  You'll have to get INS/Homeland Security approval which takes several weeks to a few months plus all the paperwork the government requires.

We adopted from Russia and besides the homestudy we had to provide letters from doctors that we were physically and mentally ready to handle an adoption; copies of our passports; letters from all our creditors verifying any outstanding debts like car loans, student loans etc.  We also had to provide letters about our assets - a letter on bank letterhead stating how long we were customers of the bank, proof of our life insurance, etc.

In the mix we had to assign guardianship to our potential new child (children), and so many other papers I can't remember!

Depending if you go domestically, there can be a lot of politics involved.  We looked into using the services of a religious based social service agency and it was not done on a first come, first served basis.  A committee met to decide who got what child.  Plus birth mothers and birth parents change their minds.  There were also state mandated parenting classes that had to be taken for domestic adoptions in PA.  That was 24 hours of classroom instruction.

If you are interested in adoption, start the paperwork!  The sooner you start the sooner you finish.

Whatever you choose, know it is a very rewarding journey to become adoptive parents (I am the adoptive parent to two, two year old boys) but it is not an easy road and it is a long journey.  There are times when you wonder if it is all worth it. When you hold your child for the first time you know it is worth it.

Answer 10

Your question is a little disturbing to me as an adoptee...

I am soooo sorry, really, and truly, that this process takes so long.  I wish it had been shorter for my adoptive parents, perhaps they would have had less time to form an opinion of EXACTLY how they wanted me to be, only to be dissapointed when they got me.  

It took seven years for them to get me by the way... and five more for my sister... so hang on tight there, it could be a while.  

Your impatience is disturbing... essentially, you have to understand what you are waiting for.  You are waiting for a mother to willingly give up HER child to you, perfect strangers to her.  You are waiting for circumstances to mitagate a woman deciding that her infant is better off in the hands of another person, one she will never meet.  

You are waiting for one person.  Unless you are willing to adopt a child  who is already an orphan... one who is actually IN NEED of parents, you are going to have to wait.  There isn't a baby factory somewhere with stock housed babies just waiting for a home.  There are other people in line waiting too, waiting for that mother, the one who chooses to give up her child.  

The world is in short supply of healthy infants just waiting to be separated from the womb... so you will have to excuse the time it takes.  

Being a professional and having money has nothing to do with it.  You cannot buy a child, last time I checked, that was illegal.  

So, again... be patient, wait your turn in that line.  And please, above all else, remember that someone had to carry that child for nine months... and have it taken from her womb before you get to have it.  Remember that, as you look at your baby.  Please.

Answer 11

I think what takes the longest is being matched.  If you have "strict" factors and characteristics regarding mom and child then it will take longer than if you were open.  Our Home Study is almost complete and could be pushed through if we were matched.  The part of the Home Study that takes the longest are the clearances from your fingerprinting.

Answer 12

my parents had to wait SEVEN years to adopt me.

they told me they got put on a waiting list and it was a long process, like people would come in and talk to them and make sure they were sutiable to adopt a child and a bunch of stuff.

maybe there is a long waiting list or something.

someone said that the mom might want to see if they liked the family, but mine was a closed adoption and my parents and my birth mom never met.

also my birth mom kept me for two weeks and then decided that it was too hard and then decided to put me up for adoption.

so it could be a long waiting list?

Answer 13

I adopted twins in the UK. It took 6 months to be approved as adoptive parents, during this time we attended courses and had home checks etc. It was another 9 months until the children were matched to us. I was told that they make you wait this length of time as you would if you were have a baby of your own. We visited them 4 times a week for 2 months then they came to live with us. So 17 months in total, however it took 3 years before the adoption went through because the birth father was contesting the adoption.

Answer 14

It doesnt matter that you are both proffessionals.Remember teachers have been known in the past for abusing children.I am not judging you but everyone has to go through the process proffessionals or not.If you really want a child then you will be prepared to wait.I have children myself and I find that being financially secure isnt everything either you have to love a child as they were your own.

Answer 15

You are waiting for a mother to abandon her child, or you are waiting for a child's mother to die.

That is just sick.

Perhaps you should adopt a pet rock. Much cheaper and quicker.

Answer 16

You're an academic 'professional', and you've never heard of supply & demand?  No Econ 101 at your college?

Supply of fresh babies is low (thank God), plus too many grubby, entitled prospective 'parents' who want them = long wait and big expense!

Why not use some Bio 101 and make a baby on your next teacher 'workday' ?

Answer 17

Be thankful if it is just 2 years.  You have to have a home study. You have to have family and friends interviewed. In most cases you have to take classes. After everything is complete there is usually a six month wait before they will place a child with you. They want to be sure you do not change your mind before they place a child with you. And then there is a year where the child is placed with you before the adoption is final.

All in all it took me 4 years from the day I decided to adopt to the day of the final adoption.

My son is 24 now and every single minute of waiting was worth it.