Adoption also KILLS!?

Question

most kids that r sent in to the system never get ADOPTED! Most grow up with Abandoment issues LADIES n r SEXUALLY MOLESTED b 4 their 5 yrs. old A s 4 the moms , they always will live with their decisions, always wondering WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CHILD and the children do view ur decicision as u did them a FAVOR LADIES it maybe your worst nightmarethat will comeback to haunt u.ABORTION KILLS TOO

Answer 1

So whats your question? I also feel that giving up a child for adoption is a bad idea that's why I am Pro-choice.

Answer 2

You're right...most kids in foster care never get adopted...the older the child the less likely they are to be adopted.

The answer is still NOT abortion, though.  The answer is to raise awareness about this serious need so that more children whose parental rights have been terminated are adopted.  Also to raise awareness so that more foster families are raised up.

We adopted two girls who were 7 & 10 at the time.  Let me tell you, these girls are anything but abused (sexually or otherwise).  They have a secure, loving family...they have all their needs covered, they're getting an excellent education & many more opportunities in life -- many more opportunities than if they'd not been adopted, if they'd been left with their birth family (they were abused & neglected), and GOBS more than if they'd been aborted for crying out loud.

In addition to being adoptive parents, we're foster parents & take kids into our home to give them a home, love, nurturing and opportunities.  We'd love to adopt again one day if God allows us to/leads us to.

In addition to that we are also involved in a ministry at our church where we've helped FIFTEEN families in our church of 400 people (relatively small church) become certified foster families!  That's in addition to the probably about 12 families who were currently adoptive or foster families before we partnered with the state for the training.

Instead of griping about the problem or promoting abortion as the answer to prevent these kids from suffering, how about if people get off their rusty dusties and DO something to help the situation?

Answer 3

I kept my children for those very reasons.  I'm so glad I did, they're the light of my life.

Answer 4

Sorry but I totally disagree with everything that you say in your question and would be intersted to know where you got your opinions from?

I think this is your personal opinion and I doubt you could find any facts to back up your allegations, if you can then please do so.

What exactly do you suggest then if not adoption or abortion? surely not for babies to be born into families who do not want them and cannot support them?

Answer 5

The adopted people that i know have not been molested.

Answer 6

Have you met SuperKitten yet?  Sounds like the two of you would get along just great.

You seem to be both drinking the same crazy juice.

Most children who are adopted are well taken care of and loved.  Most women do not send their children into "the system" but the children are taken away from them.   Most foster parents are not child molestors.  I wish you would talk in a more reasonable matter.  No way are you a social worker (manager or whatever it is you said) because you would know the reasons why children end up in "the system".

Answer 7

I don't really know what your problem is, but I am an adoptive mother and a foster parent.  We have adopted two children, and they are very well cared for and loved.  In one of the cases if he was still with his birthmother he would be dead!  That is no joke, here he has a stable loving family and is protected from the molestations and dangers that he could have faced.  Our other adopted child came from a situation where birthmom kept the guys she was living with happy so she could have a place to live.  She would get thrown out when she got pg, and then she would give her chidlren up for adoption so she could find another man.  The child we adopted out of this situation is the 8th her birthmother had!

As for the foster children that have come through our doors, most of them have been molested or beaten...but that is when they were with their birth mother/family...not while they are in foster care.  

My mother placed a child for adoption when she was in high school and that child was raised by a loving family and has nothing to complain about.

ABORTION IS NOT AN ANSWER!  There are many LOVING STABLE GOOD PEOPLE THAT WOULD LOVE TO ADOPT A BABY.  As for children in the system not being adopted, this is true if the children are older, there are many children 9 years+ that do not get adopted.  

I think you need alot of help.

Answer 8

Yes, I do know where my child is!  He is with me - in his loving home, with no abuse, no molestation, and above all good healthcare, loving parents, and a good life.  More than he would have had with his biological parents who could not take care of him - and yes, my child was in the "system" in NJ!

Answer 9

Lady, how many times do we have to go over this? New York school systems failed to teach you how to spell. Stop posting this over and over.

Answer 10

Readers, take a few minutes to read this posters answers to others questions and you will see "she" is not worth your time.  Pathetic pervert.

Answer 11

Most healthy infants are adopted.

Older children and children with serious medical conditions that are more than some adoptive parents are able to deal with are the ones who usually are not adopted.

Adoptive mothers who are the right kind of mothers can know how to present "the story" to the child in a way that the child doesn't feel at all abandoned.   Excellent adoptive families (and I think most, in general, are because of the screening process) do not have molestation going on.  That's not saying there's aren't occasional mental-case-freaks that find a way to adopt, but, unfortunately, children have no guarantee against mental-case-freaks, whether or not they're with biological family or adoptive family.  The fortunate children (and that's probably most) don't end up with mental-case-freak parents, whether they're biological or adoptive.

The cold, hard, reality is this:  Before anyone allows an unwanted pregnancy to occur they need to think about the awful options they'll be faced with.  The cold, hard, reality is that the only way a mother can know her child will be well cared for, well nurtured, and truly treasured and protected is if she decides to raise her child herself.  The trouble is many biological mothers aren't fit to offer a child the kind of love and nurturing every child deserves and needs.

I am an adoptive mother of one of my three children, and all three of my children had a really nice childhood as far as being loved, nurtured, and treasured goes.  My son is grown now, but I've always been there to try to find ways to help him overcome the fact that he had his skull fractured as a newborn and to try to help him deal with a "visual perceptual learning problem" that had, probably as a result of it.

Sometimes the real nightmare that haunts people is the damage that some biological mothers do to their infants that follows the child and his adoptive mother through the rest of their lives.

Children get sent into "The System" when their biological mother/families can't or won't take care of them.  They end up in the system because they have alcoholic or drug-addicted or abusive mothers and fathers who aren't much better or who are in jail.  A recent Prime Time showed how even when children who have lived in The System for years grow up and go find their families the families still aren't fit for them to live with.  

I, personally, wish all mothers would take good care of their babies and want them and never give them away; so no mother would ever have to ask "what happened to my child".  The reality, though, is that children who end up in the system end up there because their parents didn't do what they should have done for their children.  

When I used to bring my beautiful toddler (adopted son) for brain scans to see if he had any damage caused when the biological mother allowed his skull to get fractured, I used to ask, "What the h**l happened to my child?"

No child should end up in The System, but they do because they have parents who can't or won't take the right kind of care of them.  

Adoption, when its done right and when the child is an infant, can work out beautifully.  Adoptive families who have been well screened can offer a wonderful beginning to a child.  The trouble is even the best adoptive mother in the world can have real trouble helping a child who has suffered damage for four, ten, or thirteen years in foster care or a bad biological home to get past it all.

Its very sad that some mother has to live all her life asking "what happened to my child", but there's a big difference between infant adoptions and adoptions that happen when a child has entered The System.

Answer 12

More children are abused by their biological parents than either adoptive or foster parents.  That is a well known fact, do some research.

Answer 13

you really are an idiot...don't judge ANY decision unless you have been in it yourself.

with the correct procedure and the correct counselling and way of dealing with things step by step people get through this so kindly shut up and bug someone else somewhere else.

Answer 14

You have serious problems don't you?   Where you giving up as a child?  I am against abortion, but I do go around screaming and posting any non sense questions.  And in case you didn't know those moms that do give up there kids can pick the parents and meet then and make sure there kids are going to get what they couldn't give them!  Find a new topic!

Answer 15

My exhusband and his sister were adopted.  They had extremely happy lives.

Sure, they probably had issues.  But then, I have issues too, and I wasn't adopted.  My parents kept me but no one vetted them to see if they would be good parents.

If you are talking about older children, you are right.  Most will not be adopted.  But what do you want to do with them?

I long for the day kids start suing their parents for neglect.

Answer 16

I'm not sure what world you live in but children who are placed for adoption as infants don't go into the system.  The system is there because the parents aren't being responsible and have lost their rights to care for their children.  You are correct that many children in the system never get adopted because the system is set up in a way to give the parents too many opportunities thus prolonging the children's exposure in child welfare. Most of the children have already suffered at the hands of abuse or neglect and due to this often continue to have difficulties making it tough all the way around.  If the child welfare processes was shortened it would mean many more children having access to homes at earlier ages.  It's not adoption that's the problem it's the parents who don't do their jobs then further risk the lives of their kids by having them place in child welfare.