Adoption by a family member?

Question

I have a sister that has 3 kids, and is in bad shape. I want to help her, and would like to propose that I would adopt her 2 small kids so she can get ahead in life easier, at the same time allowing her to keep in touch with the kids, 2 an 8 months old. She had 2 abusive marriages, and is in the process of breaking away from the last one. I see it as a win-win situation... but I am concerned about emotional issues. She's in a different country, and adoption seems like the best idea, so far. Her other child is old enough to take care of herself pretty much, although still a minor. What do you think? I want to offer those kids and my sister a better life. So far I can't bring her here, but I might be able to bring the kids that way.

Answer 1

yeah...I agree with the poster that said try to get temporary custody instead.  I think that would be the best situation.

Then when your sister got back on track, she could raise her kids again.  There is nothing wrong with needing a little help now and then.  But they are still her kids.

Answer 2

Maybe instead of adopting, she will grant you temporary custody of her children while you continue to try to bring her to your country.  I think what you are doing is quite admirable and the person who said you should be slapped needs some lessons in compassion.  I think you are just trying to make the best of a bad situation, but look for other options and see if they are more in keeping with keeping your sister together with her children.  You heart is in the right place.

Answer 3

adoption is a very permanent agreement. Perhaps taking legal guardianship of the kids. You'd have the same rights as a parent.

Answer 4

If I was her I would slap you for even saying that!! If she is going through a tough time, get off your lazy backside and help her, instead of trying to take her kids away from her.

Maybe you should actually start thinking about her, and not yourself. They are her family, and although she is going through a tough situation, she is their mother.

Why don't you just go over to her.

Answer 5

I agree with others that full adoption might not be a good idea.  Try to get temporary custody, with you being their legal guardian.  Otherwise, in a few years, if she gets her life 'together', she may regret giving them up and it might cause a major family fight.

You should only adopt is there are issues of citizenship.

Answer 6

thats very generous of you, but you should ask the kids first..

it might be a big problem as they grow older, knowing that their mother 'gave away' two of her kids.. they will feel neglected, and hurt because they will think she chose the two of them to go away. talk to them, get their opinions, and let them know why you want to adopt them..

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best of luck