Adoption....does anyone know?

Question

hello, i have a question for anyone who would possibley know i know this is a far out chance but in my boredom figured i would ask. my grandma had a child, between 52 and 54 years ago, she had the baby in clinton iowa or some where very close to there, so this would make the year right around 1953 to 1955ish there coul be some play room in there since she will not give us the exact date. my grandma also will not tell us if the baby was a male or female so alls we really have to go on is that the baby was born in and around clinto iowa between 1953 amd 1955ish. we dont even know if the person knows they were adopted. my grandma went on to have other children one of her boys being my father, we did not find out until any of this till very recently and i am interested in possibley finding this person. any ideas how i would go about doing that? also if you know of anyone who would fit this discription please feel free to let me know! thanks :)

Answer 1

I can only offer you a few ideas to take into consideration as you search.  Don't assume the child doesn't know that he/she is adopted. There's a good chance as child of the 50's he/she was told.

I assume your grandma is alive. If so, please carefully consider her feelings & fears in this before talking to extended family & old friends.  GENTLY, carefully approach the subject with her.  Come from a place of understanding. How hard that must have been. How painful that experience was and probably still is.  Read the book, "The Girls Who Went Away", by Ann Fessler to get a better understanding of her experience.  You might share it with her. Or let her know that you've read it.  It may provide an opening to discussion.

LOVE her!  Reassure her that you do understand how difficult this must have been and continues to be.  Often mothers feel they have no right to intrude on the life of the child they relinquished. Understand that she's lived with the shame and sadness of that painful even for more than 50 years!  It will take a LOT of love & support to overcome that shame that was placed on her shoulders.  

That said, here are a few search hints:

Do a little research to see if there was a home for unwed mothers in Clinton, Iowa around the time that you believe she may have had a child.  Depending on the size of Clinton in the early 50's, maybe there was only one unwed mothers home?  Girls & young women were sent away to homes for unwed mother's in that time period.  

Did she (do you) have any extended family who lived in Iowa at that time?  If so, she could have been sent to live with that relative (her aunt or uncle, for example)?  If so, there may be family members still around who have memories & perhaps a few details to the puzzle.

Look in old photo albums for clues.  How old was your grandma in 1953, 54, 55?  Did she attend college in Iowa? If so, what college?  Did she graduate? Were there yearbooks for the time she attended? Does she have a best friend she's known since then or before 1953?

With a few details, such as a month, year, hopefully a birth DAY, register the information with ISSR or the International Soundex Reunion Registry, at http://www.isrr.net/

Iowa's bureau of health statistics (vital records)

http://www.idph.state.ia.us/apl/health_s...

Iowa's state reunion registry form:

http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:jhq6...

Another Iowa adoption registry:  http://www.adoption.org/adopt/adoption-r...  

Information on searching in Iowa:

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

Good luck! Hope this is helpful...

Answer 2

Honey, I feel for you.  You do have a long road to go.  I searched for my biological mother for 30 years.  You need to find out if it was a private adoption or if the child went to an orphanage.  Then you may beable to find out throught your state or local government.  Ask a lot of questions and write everything down.  Don't give up.  You may want to ask if she went to some kind of home for unwed mothers or something like that.  That would be a good place to start.  you may want to ask if there is somekind of regestry you may be put on that matches adopted children with biological family members.  That may beable to be done through the state.  

My heart goes out to you the most important thing is to talk to your grandmother about this before you do anything.  There may be a reason why she doesn't want to give out any information.  Be up front with her and let her tell you information.  You dont want to hert her feeling for nothing in this world.  GOOD LUCK.