Adoption for the wrong reasons?

Question

If a person is trying to adopt a kid for money. Even if this person loves this child. Looking for tax breaks, social security ( incase spouse dies). Also wanting attention from anybody about how they saved this child from it's dirtbag birth parents. Does this sound like love? Can you really love someone when they have all these other motives?

Answer 1

Well, start with: You're not going to get rich from tax breaks and subsidies. These are primarily to give the kids a better life, or in our case, repair the damage to our house that the foster kids did.

If the kids are of a different race than the adoptive parents, they tend to draw some sort of attention whether you try or not about "the situation you rescued them from." Around here, it's pretty much assumed that any child with an adult is with their parent, whether that's the case or not, but people ask questions. "Are they yours?" "Did you adopt?" "Are you doing foster care for the money?" Answers: For now; I'd like to; they cost more than any government money I receive for them."

So, people who are adopting for money have a rude awakening ahead of them. They will get attention for "saving the kids from their situation" whether they want it or not, and when a child is in deperate need of love and trying hard to love you, it's hard not to love them back.

Answer 2

First off, no one adopts for the financial benefits!  It isn't financially beneficial.  I do know some people whose motivation to adopt is to "save" a child, often they mean that in a religious way.  While these adoptive parents surely love their children, that isn't a healthy motivation for adoption.  It puts expectations on the child to feel grateful and to be a specific person their parents envision.

Answer 3

wow ... that's really cold ... as from what we learned ... there is no money to made in adoption and technically the privacy issue of the adoption is being compromised, I guess they didn't pay attention in class.

This does not sound like love and I pity the children who were hoping for a great new family and got these monsters instead.

Answer 4

no it's if your heart is right...

Answer 5

Most people adopt children because they want one to love; not for money or attention, so, yes, I think there are a few wrong reasons in this situation.

Answer 6

Those are all wrong reasons to adopt a child. However, there is a tax break available and there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of it if you qualify. For those of you who don't know, the tax break is based on income. If you make more money than the benchmark amount then you cannot get the tax break. That is, unless the tax rules have changed in the last 10 years.

Answer 7

I don't think you truly can.

Answer 8

I think you should have unconditional love for the child, not adpot for tax breaks. I think it costs quite a bit to raise a child, and also it takes a lot of patience... adoption shouldn't soley be for a tax break and appearing like a hero.

Answer 9

Adopting a child for the money is a crock.  If people think they're going to get financially ahead by adopting or fostering, they're nuts!  You can't get financially ahead by doing it if you're truly providing a good home for the child.

Adopting to get kudos from others is also not a reason to adopt.  I get people giving me praise for adopting...I actually get sick of it b/c I didn't do it to be a good person...I did it because I wanted daughters.  People's praise wouldn't get me through a single day of helping my oldest through her grief/loss/attachment issues.  God, however, the One who called me to adopt her, does get me through every day of anything that comes my way with being their parent.  If not for His love, mercy, grace and strength, I couldn't do it.

It doesn't sound like love to me, but I don't know the whole story either.

Answer 10

people should only adopt kids through love

Answer 11

ok, i can almost rationalize the whole tax thing, but to brag about how they saved the child? you have got to be kidding me. this isnt love this is martyrdom. talk about putting yourself on a pedestal! if they need something to save to make themselves feel more a decent person direct them to the local humane society. this is a human being, using them for personal gain is sickening

Answer 12

I think you should follow your heart. It seems to me that you know what you are doing is wrong and you should trust that instinct because it is correct. Real love doesn't involve money and selfishness, but it comes from deep within the heart of the parents. Take my advice and if you do adopt, don't do it for the wrong reasons because that would be immoral and you would be using the child for your own benefit.

Answer 13

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Love is giving, not taking.

Love is private not showy.

Love is kind, not cruel (about birthparents).

Love asks for nothing in return.

A REAL parents love is about how they can make their child's life better.  Not the other way a round.

Please, do something to help this child from being condemned to a life of misery.  Email me privately if you need ideas or help.

Answer 14

Given that the tax breaks are insufficient and the Social Security for the child barely pays the food bill, I can't see it as an advantage.  No, doesn't sound like love to me.

Answer 15

No, this isn't love, nor is it a reasonable facsimile of love.  Tax breaks and self-glorification are not acceptable reasons for adopting (or giving birth to) a child.

Answer 16

It definately sounds like this person does not want a child to fulfill their life.  Hopefully the adoption agency will see through this.

Besides, becoming a foster parent has even higher tax breaks and monthly income.