Adoption...good or bad?

Question

ok so all of a sudden me and my family started talking about my sister having kids...i dont really know why but it just happened....and i stated my views...i said when i get older i want to adopt... and then they all looked at me like i was crazy and they asked why...so i told them that i didnt think it was fair bringing more kids into the world when there are more somewhere in the world in the need of a good home...everyone started saying taht this was a stupid reason and that i shouldnt adopt...but i believe that its a very good response and reason on why i want to adopt....i just wanted to know if this was a good reason or not...im 16 by the way and im not any where near ready to have kids yet but i have always wanted to adopt so just tell me what you think and please dont say that im too young to be thinking about that because i know im too young for kids but ijust want to know

Answer 1

I completely agree with you and your family should be proud that they raised such a smart young woman.  There are so many children out there that need homes and if you are willing to be selfless enough to provide that I say more power to you!  Good luck!

Answer 2

you go girl!

Answer 3

adopt and reduce population.

Answer 4

I feel the same way. Why bring more kids into the world when there's ones out there who need love.

I'm pretty sure I'll adopt.

Answer 5

My daughter is your age and she says the same thing along the same line of reasoning.

I say family is who you love ...

do your homework on adoption before you make a decision.

I wouldn't worry about your family too much. When you're an adult and they realize that you're serious...they may be more supportive. One thing is for sure...when a little one takes their hand and says "Grandma" or "Grandpa" with love in their eyes....there's no person on this earth whose heart won't melt.

(I know, because that's exactly what happened when my cousin was adopted!)

Good for you for wanting to share your love with a little soul in such need!

As per Jesmo, the Feisel case involved Foster parents...not adoptive parents. Lifeway (the private foster care agency that placed Michael) had their license revoked for placing him in a home that clearly did not meet criteria for foster care.

Answer 6

I think thats a good reason to adopt. There are kids out there who need love and would be lucky to have you as a parent someday. Keep your ideas and don't let anyone tell you adoption is bad.

Answer 7

There are so many good answers here, I'm not sure you need mine!  I say, first of all, thank you for thinking of others ... you are indeed young, but you seem very mature to be thinking ahead to your future.

When the time comes to consider having and raising children, you'll be more ready than most to take on this HUGE (and yes it is HUGE!!!) responsibility.  

I truly wish there were more ... a LOT more ... young folks who think as you do.  There are so many kids out there who, through NO fault of their own, need parents.  If you decide to go this route, you will be a wonderful example to others, and you will have kids whom you love for ALL the right reasons!

Best of luck to you in the future ... and now, the MOM in me has to say just one thing ... PLEASE stay in school and put off thoughts of having kids for now!  I know, you already said that ... I just want to reinforce to you that it's SOO important to you AND to your future family!  

I think you'll do fine at whatever you choose to do ... and I think any kid, whether adopted or biological, who ends up with you as a parent, will be LUCKY indeed!

Answer 8

Great reason to adopt.  Ignore your family.  Do your research and go for it.

Answer 9

adoption really good hope the family make right choice

Answer 10

i have two adopted kids an eight yr old and 1 week old, and im planning to have one more. im so happy to have them.So, adopt one too.

Answer 11

You are a very kind-hearted person.  I hope you get to adopt a child that brings you much joy.

Answer 12

One thing...just keep in mind, you'll probably have a spouse that either a) has the same views as you, or b) wants children of their own. Adoption is a wonderful thing. I personally think that American's should keep adoption American. I think that as a US citizen, if one were to consider this selfless act, then they should at least do it for their home turf. You may change your mind when you are older as well. You may decide that you want to foster children too. WHo knows? Anyway, it is a very loving, considerate gesture to your fellow man and God bless you for considering picking up someone else's slack!

Answer 13

You have good heart please continue your dream.

Answer 14

y not,im 20 and started thinking of having kids since im in your age..i even thinking of adopting child, u think mature than ur age, its good though, u think of the child that didnt received the best for them..

Answer 15

Sounds like you've got your head on strait, if you want to adopt when you get older then adopt.

Answer 16

I think your decision is more noble and intelligent than those who make the decision to breed indiscriminately, especially when they cannot afford to take care of or feed the mouths they do produce.  

Your family, though, in listening to your feelings is probably shocked because you are more than likely upsetting their vision of your future.  The good news is that it's your life and if you give them time, they'll come around to the idea.

Peace,

Jenn

Answer 17

Girl, adoption is a great thing. My mother-in-law adopted a little girl 2 years ago ( a newborn) and I honestly don't think that baby could be loved any more even if she was still with her biological mother. She is so loved and well taken care of you wouldn't even  think she was adopted if you didn't already know. They have such a great bond with  each other. I think that if you wanted to adopt, whether you could have kids of your own or not, people have no right to criticize you or look down on you because you  are one of the few people that would be willing to step up and do something that great. Children need homes and families. And the fact that you would be willing to do that for a child is that greatest thing ever imagined.

Answer 18

this is a very good reason if not the best! i feel the same way and agree 100% with you! i plan to adopt kids for this same reason. of course your views may change as you age and youll want to have your own kids, but hopefully you'll stick with this and give a child a deserving home!

Answer 19

I completely agree... I'm only 18 and I'm still years away from having children. I want to have my own kids because of the connection you have from creating them. But I most definitely want to adopt. I think that if you could give a child a home who otherwise wouldn't have had one, do so. Besides, they can always hold on to the fact that out of all the millions of children out there that you could've adopted, you chose them.

Answer 20

I think you sound more mature than the 'family' that was sitting around you.  Your family sounds very closed-minded.  You have a perfect reason to adopt, and I hope you really do.  Good luck~

Answer 21

You are never to young to think about the details of your future.  By the time you would be old enough to consider adoption (30 for some countries like China), it will be a decision based on your life situation including your partner, of course (not based on what your extended family thought). I found that as I matured and eventually became financially independent at 21 (lived on the opposite coast) from my family, their opinions did not influence my decisions as much, though you always think back to what "your mother would say" lol. 16 is a wonderful age to be dreaming of the next 20 years and I encourage you to start researching  life events you have questions about through objective (your family is a subjective source) sources like books. Family can sometimes misunderstand or appear to be unsupportive because they are only telling you what they know or believe.   Being a teenage girl is hard and adults forget that!

Answer 22

I personally think adoption is great.  My mom was adopted, I was, my sister was, my husband was adopted, and I plan on adopting children as well one day.  If you want to adopt an infant, they are in high demand, so if you want to adopt for the reason you stated, you would have to adopt older kids,

A lot of people don't understand what adoption is all about.  Good for you for sticking with your dream.

Answer 23

I think its great that you want to adopt children, because if you adopt one child, that'll be one less child to be adopted.

And your family should support your decisions, to adopt a child when you get older.

Answer 24

I think there is nothing wrong with adoption. But it is a very long process and alot of money and time and things that go along with it. Where I live there is a case called the Liz and David Carol case that just happened a few months ago. The little boy named was Marcus Fisel he was 2 yrs old and he was adopted to the Carols. He was a autistic child and those two tied him up and threw him in a closet and left for the weekend. When they got back he was deceased and so they cut up his body and burned it in a chimney in a public park and took the rest of him and through him in the Ohio River. Then they pretended that they were at the park and he ran off and hundreds of people in the community searched for 3 days and finally they found the truth of what happened. I think its important for people like you to adopt these unwanted children because of people like the Carols. Marcus deserved a loving family that wanted him. The carols wanted the money that they got that came along with marcus. Liz got 56 yrs to life in prison and David got 15 yrs to life.

Answer 25

As a parent of an adopted child, I have mixed feelings.  If you can have children of your own, you should do so.  You need not worry about the children going unadopted.  Currently, the average wait for a child is between six months and three years (depending upon how specific you are with the age/s*x/race of child you want).  If you are capable of bearing a child, and you adopt, you are likely taking a child away from others that cannot have one of their own biologically.

Please think about it.

Answer 26

Many kids in the US need homes and are in foster care which is dismal at best due to lack of adoptive parents. When you are grown, stable and ready to be a mom consider adopting a US orphan versus a trendier baby from another country.

Answer 27

your responce isn`t stupid, it`s brilliant. you can adopt and the child will bring joy to your life. and u can have one naturally and then u will bring more joy to you, your future husband or boyfriend, and to the children cuz they will have company and a sibling. and i love the way you think cuz its a good thing to take children into your own hands that way they have somewhere to call home and know that theres someone special in there life that loves them very much, along with more people.

Answer 28

We had two biological children & then got my tubes tied.  We knew that if we wanted to add to our family in the future, we would look into adoption since there (as you said) are so many kids already in the world who need a stable, loving family.  We are also foster parents & have a young lady just a month younger than our oldest child with us through this school year.  We love our big, crazy family.

I think your decision is wonderful!!  

Adoption has totally changed our lives for the better.  Foster care has done the same.  Our biological kids have seen us reach out to others and bring them into our family.  Our adopted kids have seen us do and have experienced the same thing.

When you decide you want to move forward, you can go one of three ways.

You can adopt from the foster system.  Go to:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist...

to see what your state's requirements & process is.

You can adopt domestically privately.  Go to an attorney or agency to find out how to go about this.

You can adopt internationally.  Go to:

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/... for country-specific info.

To choose an agency or attorney interview many, asking tough questions & checking references.  Find others, not on the reference list who've used them & check those references, too (ask about their experience, whether they'd use them again, and if they had any misgivings about the process).  Then check the Better Business Bureau to see if they have complaints and how/if they were resolved.

Answer 29

i don't think your reason is stupid at all.. I cherish my children,  my first was adopted (shes 5 now) my second was my natural child my third is natural also, but if we ever want any more then i am deffinately going to adopt again.