Adoption.??? help?

Question

ok so my good friend is pregnant and she wanted to noe if she can put her baby up for adoption and make all the plans before the baby is born.. or does she hae to wait till the baby is born to get everything ready?

Answer 1

If she is in the USA - she can make plans beforehand - but I would advise against it.

Or - at least - make no permanent decisions until the child is actually born.

(this is the way adoption is dealt with in Australia - only after the child is born - and only after the mother has tried to parent - with heaps of support along the way).

What is 'best' for mother and child - is to stay together - if there is no abuse present.

What your friend needs to do - is become fully informed on every possible side about parenting and about adoption.

She can get adoption help from any adoption agency - but be very aware that adoption agencies - WANT THE CHILD.

They make money - from the child.

Their advice will be heavily leaning towards your friend giving up her child.

Here are some websites about the other side of adoption not often seen - just for information that she needs to know about - to be more fully informed.

http://origins-usa.org/

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

http://www.theadoptionshow.com/home2.php

http://brackish.wordpress.com/2008/04/03...

There are no guarantees in adoption.

It is a long term solution to an often short term problem.

I wish your friend and her bub - above all - all the very best that life has to offer.

Answer 2

If the bio father agrees with her to make an adoption plan for the unborn child, she can start some of the process before the birth, depending on what country she lives in.  In the US, you can do this.  In other countries, you cannot.  

However, even if she does start the process before birth, she is not "obligated" to follow through with an adoption if chooses at any time to stop the process.  

I would recommend that she and the bio father go to some type of counseling to discuss why they are considering adoption and if this is the right choice for them and their child.  If the decide it is, then they can speak to a local, reputable adoption agency to find out more information.  

Good luck.

Answer 3

Tell your friend to go to an agency they can help with alot. They let you know what your options are they also support you and help if you need it. I have whats called an open adoption with my daugther. I looked threw book that potential adoptive parents made. The ppl i liked the best i got to meet with them and talk with them. I get to also see my daugther on weekends. My advice would be just to check out the place to see what your Friend would like to do, No matter what she chooses please be supportive going threw what she'll be going threw no matter what choice will be hard.

Answer 4

Why? A baby is a gift from GOD! Under the circumstances that she may be having, it is best if she does all the paper work now. I would suggest for her to think about it throughly. Hope she keeps the baby, if not I hope that baby gets adopted by an understanding and loving couple that can give the baby what he/she deserves.

Answer 5

She can make plans now if she wants because me and my hubby are looking to adopt a baby

Answer 6

She can contact an adoption agency & they can help her w/ all of that while she is pregnant.

Answer 7

She can contact the state and they can work something out for her. Just please make sure she's really thought about this decision. Some agencies bully young women into giving their children away if they see a little weakness in her decision. Make sure you, or someone she can trust to see through these peoples intentions are with her so that she can keep her ground if she just wants counseling versus giving up her baby.

Join a yahoo group that specializes in birth mother help and see if they recommend an agency to work with.

Also, they get everything worked out for you before the baby is born, if you contact them before the due date.

Hope this helps,

Skatergurljubulee

Answer 8

I am adopted.  Also, I just adopted my first child.  May I suggest www.lifetimeadoption.org .  Martie Caldwell is great.  Just have your friend check out the website and speak with a counselor.  They don't pressure anyone and they give the birthmoms lots of choices.  I know because we had 3 birthmoms change there mind before the perfect baby for us came along.  Lifetime was helpful to all of the moms and families.

Answer 9

She can do it all now if she wants to.  It may actually give her the time to get to know some of the prospective adopted parents before she picks one.  More time and less pressure.

Answer 10

She and the father can start to get everything ready now including picking who will adopt the baby when he/she is born.

Answer 11

Yes she can prepare in advance but she cannot terminate her parental rights until after the baby is born.  She can visit an agency or she can try to find adoptive parents on her own - if its legal to advertise by adoptive parents in your state then she can check the newspapers and/or online sites.

Good luck.

Answer 12

I wish we knew your friend.  My husband and I are just starting the adoption process and finding someone who has an unplanned pregnancy is the best way for it to happen, is what we have been told. If she would like to meet or ask us questions please feel free to.  But to answer your question, everything can be planned. Weather she would like to pick the parents or not, have them be a part of the pregnancy or not.  Basically everything is up to them.  But never let anyone force their opinion onto them.  Some people are pro adoption and some are not.  But she should do what she feels is best for her and the baby.  If giving the baby to a loving family is the right thing for her to do or keeping it should be up to her.  Sure, give and get advice but do not let anyone pressure you into something you are not comfortable with or ready for. Hope this helps.

Answer 13

Yes, she can do that.  Has she thought about it and considered all the issues involved if she wanted to raise her child?  There's tons of help for parents out there and she should not be afraid to ask for it.  Just as adoptive parents researched agencies and adoption issues, so should the expecting parents...  when thinking of adoption.

Answer 14

My husband and I have been trying to adopt for about two years. Your friend can make adoption arrangements before she actually delivers the baby and depending on the state that she has the baby in she will sign relinquishment papers after the birth of the baby. She can pick a couple who is doing a private adoption, she can choose open or closed adoption, she can choose to work with an agency. All costs should be paid by the adoptive family no matter which route she chooses. She has a lot of choices and ultimately every one of them should be made by her. My husband and I are doing a private adoption, meaning we are not using an agency, we are using a local adoption attorney and would be willing to pay for a separate attorney for the birth mother. We would also be willing to do an open or closed adoption. If you would like additional information or have any other questions, please feel free to have her or yourself email me. She is lucky to have you as a friend that is willing to support her in her decision. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 15

If your friend knows for sure that is what she wants to do, then yes I would have her make all the plans beforehand.  I am actually adopted (38 yrs. ago) and my adoption was closed. That was the only option back then. I would highly recommend an open adoption. I have also met my birthfamily 10 yrs ago. Adoption can be a wonderful thing, I truly was blessed. I also feel blessed to know my birthfamily now. I have 2 children of my own and me and my husband are looking to adopt. I can talk to your friend if she needs any advice. I have worked with many young girls placing and keeping their beautiful babies. Supporting your friend is the best thing you can do. She is blessed to have a friend like you. Just rememeber, any decision she makes has to be her decision because it is a forever decision.  God bless her! I know how hard it is to be in her shoes as I have been adopted and walked the journey with many girls. People forget that birthmothers truly do LOVE their babies. I would love to speak with you or your friend anytime. Please feel free to contact me.